Heh... good idea.

The liberal "human rights" people couldn't whinge about that one; after all, they're all in favour of free healthcare. :-)

Water-boarding, proctologist style.
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Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Do it for yourself...
And your loved ones...
With a colonoscopy.

This is actual text from a poster sized advertisement for a local university's private health care system. This ad was pasted across from the reserved senior seats on the DC subway system. I wonder whether that was intentional or coincidental.

In any case, the next time I'm in a romantic mood, I'll bring home a bottle of phosphate soda instead of champagne. I can hardly wait to pop the cork on that one!
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Yo quiero Taco Bell.

WOW lets submit this to DHS immediately! I think these terrorists would probably welcome this kind of interrogation though. HMMMMM perhaps before they undergo the dreaded apparatus they should have a meal of spaghetti and meatballs. The homemade gas inducing kind. Perhaps that would really cause some discomfort once the soda hits it. Or perhaps some vegetarian tofu chili with five beans and some corn. Really let them have it!
Seriously though folks get your colons checked a little discomfort now goes a long way later in not having to suffer the horrors of cancer.
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

Leave it to some anonymous coward to bring politics into the very first post. I lame thee, anonymous coward, and wish you the good fortune to be found with a few ounces of hashish that aren't yours in a foreign country that has no liberal whiners to be concerned for your welfare. A pox of oversized dingleberries on your firstborn.

This was a great take on a colonscopy. Nice work, delusional pooper, and keep'm coming.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Jeez, Daphne. Don't you think that's a little harsh to be laming a commentor for illiberal remarks since the author seems to be (sarcastically) advocating colonoscopies instead of torture ...er ...ahem ...other legal intelligence-gathering techniques?
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Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Nope. It was unnecessary and tired, and I would have lamed it had it been a remark chiding conservatives, too, to be fair.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

I personally think all murders (whether they be terrorists or not) should be killed in the same way as their victims.

I know, I know...what sick, twisted human being would be willing to carry out such sentences? The sad part is, I honestly don't think it'd be hard to find somebody willing to do it.

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Man who stand on toilet seat is high on pot.

You may be right, Mary. There are some nasty people "out there". There are a few places that apathetic, cold people are attracted to that I know of.....animal research labs and slaughterhouses. There are always going to be fantastic doctors striving for a better future in medicine, but there are going to be people like Dr. Ron Wood (I know, like the Stones guitar player) who worked for years on unecessary experiments just to keep grant money coming in. And while there are dairy farmers like tuba cheeks has known, good people, there are people who work in slaughterhouses across the country who do horrible, horrible things to pigs and chickens (many KFC farms) and kill cows easily and seem to enjoy it. People who have been caught on film over and over again cutting the hooves off cows while they're still alive.

I have no problem believing these people could be turned just a bit worse to do the job Mary describes in her post.

I got alot of my information not from PETA but from a New Jersey organization dedicated to improving the lives of factory animals until they are killed, humanely.

Mr. daphne, like I said in the forums earlier, turned down the chance to become an interrogator for the military. While the 100,000 dollar bonus would have been genuinely put to good use in our family, he felt the job was just not worth it - 4 to 5 extra years added to his career as a soldier, and the fact that he might have been not only trained to intimidate and hurt people, but, as Samdammit pointed out, being put in a position where he might hang for doing things he'd only been told to do.

To add insult to injury, if he had to administer enemas, well, I don't think they could pay enough.
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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

To be honest, I fail to see the humor. I mean, the intent seems to be to find yet another way to interrogate this alleged 'terrorist' by something which may amount to torture, even though it is not normally considered torture. Just like at Guantanamo's Camp X Ray where detainees were given orange jumpsuits, giving the impression they were going to be executed, threatening them with dogs, and the use of 'waterboarding.' yes of course, the detainees were not physically hurt in any way, but torture does not have to be physical to destroy and violate a person. In my opinion, you are advocating the interrogation of humans through means that "make or force them to talk' aka torture. please don't dwell on ways to torture! it is so wrong! kthanx

Daphne, I apologise if I annoyed you by bringing politics into the first post. But I felt this was closely related to political issues, and I do get fed up with left-wing liberals who are more concerned with the rights of the terrorists than of their victims.

My post was intended mainly as humorous - I certainly don't advocate torture - but I think we need to be tough on crime and tough on terrorism. I agree with Mary above that murderers, politically motivated or not, should be executed - and if it came to it, I would be personally perfectly able to perform a legal execution, provided the convict had had a fair trial and was clearly guilty. I doubt I would lose any sleep over it.

How about if the guilty party was a member of your immediate family, say, your son?

Dammit, I just can't help myself.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

No jurisdiction with the death penalty, to my knowledge, expects anyone to execute their own son. Most such systems have professional executioners who are trained for the job.

Anyway, it doesn't detract from my point - the death penalty is entirely justified in extreme cases. For cold-blooded, pre-meditated, unprovoked murders - whether they're political terrorist bombings, sexual killings, or whatever - the culprit, once found guilty beyond any reasonable doubt, should be executed. There is no other penalty which is sufficient. Indeed, my only criticism of the death penalty is that there are some criminals for whom death is too good.

As to Guantanamo etc., it's a necessary evil. No one would argue that using aggressive interrogation methods on suspected terrorists is a good or noble thing; however, it has to be done, in order to protect the lives of those terrorists' potential victims.

I know this discussion is a long, long way from poop, so I'll stop there.

Oh, it completely puts MY point forward. You used the law to avoid answering the question. Law aside, could you do it? After all, you'd be killing someone's son, why not your own?

And as far as this conversation being a far, far way from poop, you were the one were proposed the initial "I'd kill someone" concept. If you're not willing to hear what someone else has to say about an off topic discussion, don't put it forth. That's the usual tactic from someone who doesn't want to answer a question or doesn't want to hear what others have to say after he's had his say. You managed to express yourself very well before mentioning the subject had derailed, though. Fortunate.

If you aren't willing to hear what others have to say on a subject after you've pontificated, please don't bring it up, especially if it's politically motivated, like the death penalty.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

If, in fact, my son DID kill someone and was convicted of the crime...yes. He would absolutely deserve to die as well in the same manner.

But I can't picture my son doing that (because he's a cat and lacks opposable thumbs with which to hold and use a deadly object).

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Hey! That's my robe!

Daphne, once again I apologise - I wasn't trying to put a stop to the conversation. I was just acknowledging that the discussion has gone slightly off-topic, and I accept full responsibility for that.

I'm not sure why you're so hostile towards me. We can disagree in good faith about the death penalty; I have plenty of friends who would agree with you. I'm just saying that personally I support it. Please respect my opinion, just as I respect yours.

I think Delusional Pooper was being facetious with this story. His main point was that it is important that should you have problems in the old plumbing to get your ass to a doctor and have the issue investigated.

In Ontario we've had some very eye opening advertising for preventative screening for colorectal cancer. One of them featured a shapely female posterior with the words SILENT BUT DEADLY, get yourself tested for colorectal cancer.

Some other ads can be found here.

Maybe you're right, Anonymous. I just felt like you shouldn't express yourself so well and then decide something's off topic. That's something some people in the forum do and it gets me wired every time. Hell, my bad. And you know, Anonymous is so generic. I'll just call you Chuck from now on.

Chuck, I notice that you still didn't answer my question. Could you pull the switch on your son? For some reason, I'm dying to know.
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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

I don't have a son but I do have a younger brother. It's hard for me to imagine a situation in which he would do anything deserving of the death penalty - he's a much nicer guy than I am, and incidentally would probably agree with you on this issue - but if he did, then my honest answer is no, I could not kill him. However, I would accept that the judicial system would do so, and I would not hate or resent the judge, the jury or the executioner for doing their jobs.

Btw my name isn't Chuck, but it's probably as good an appellation as any.

Really cheeky way of getting info, i'm feelin use on my bro

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www.myspace.com/scarthearmadaband

Even better idea... lets have the terrorists be the ones responsible for cleaning up the mess of the bowel prep for several incontinent, aggitated seniors with tube feedings.

My chest hurts now from laughing! Oh, my. . .

I say they should be given a sigmoidoscopy beforehand, just to get a glimpse of what's yet to come. Of course, they would have to administer their own enema--it only adds to the awkwardness and uncomfort.

Then again, they're terrorists, so why should they be spared the full deal? Scope 'em!

This is the greatest idea I've ever read. They should seriously consider doing that at all those terrorist camps.
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I will never shit somewhere that only has that horrible, scratchy brand of toilet paper. That stuff sucks!

And if that fails to get them to talk, how about a nice root canal or two. :) All in the interest of keeping up their dental health, of course. Yeah, that's it, their dental health. ::::smirk::::

Excellent description of a colonoscopy. I've had mostly sigmoidoscopies and could stay fully conscious throughout while the doctor was making her comments:

"Good cleanout there, bud; appreciate it."

[The liquid enema had, indeed, been awful, though I certainly felt it was complete; it took hours, and I still felt leaky when I got to the doctor's office, though I didn't actually leak.]

"Is that a polyp? Nope; don't think so."

"Man, clean as a whistle up there!"

"Comin' round the bend--oh, boy! Easy does it!"

"You ready for me to be done yet?"

(At this last, I believe I said, "Any time; I haven't had breakfast yet.")

My doctor was both careful and informative. I could imagine the terrorist having to respond to comments as the procedure goes forward (or upward).

"The best feature of this regimen is that you take what seems like a pretty small amount of an over-the-counter substance called phosphate soda -- just 1.5 fluid ounces in a half a glass of clear liquid."

1.5 fluid ounces??? Half a glass??? My doctor must've had a sadistic streak - he made me drink two full bottles of the stuuff!

Incidentally, I've also heard that barium treatments are tons of sado-masochistic fun. Perhaps we could add tha to the mix for those especially stubborn terrorists?

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"...[the turd] smelled like a road-kill possum raised on a diet of carp, wrapped in dog shit, inside a burning tire with a bag of hair in the sewers of Calcutta." - C Everett Poop

Great idea.
Only the no sedation part.
I'm pretty sure not sedating someone while sticking a bunch of crap up their butt would be a cruel and unusual punishment, and they could complain a little bit about that one, otherwise, it's a great idea.