Do you know of any disease or ailment in which some people have no control when it comes to expelling gas? I have control of this, and I just cannot understand some of the men that I know claim that they have no control when it comes to releasing a fart. Are they pulling my leg? I'd really like to know the answer to this. If someone does not have control, is there an operation, or medication that they could take? Thanks!

Dear Ashley,

You have hit upon one of my pet peeves; people (insert the word MEN here if you so choose) who fart without consideration for others. (In fact, they seem to do it MORE often when they are around others, and then laugh like idiots while saying they can't help it.)

If I can control my farts after giving birth to two nine-pound children AND having hemmorhoid surgery, I personally believe that anyone can control them if they try. The fact is, men (sorry to be sexist, but the truth hurts) believe that farting is hilarious and no one can convince them otherwise.

Mr. Poonurse will actually go so far as to stalk people in stores such as Target or Wal-Mart. He will choose a victim (usually an elderly person), stand next to them while appearing to be innocently browsing the nearby merchandise, and let loose either with an SBD, or a loud blaster -- depending on his whim at the time. Then he will nonchalantly return to me and propel me into the path of the wafting funk to observe the victim's response. Many times, the intended victim will look at ME as if I was the one who let the fart. This pleases Mr Poonurse, who now get TWO victims for the price of one.

There is no surgery that I know of to help people control their gaseous odors. There is a type of charcoal they can take orally to make farts less stinky, but you'd have to convince the person to take it, which I doubt they would as it might dampen the purpose of their fun altogether.

Good luck!

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse [1]

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility. Got a question [2] for her?