Wow. I not only cast the very first vote, but I get the first post. I picked the last one. I like to have control over things like that.

Can`t say that I`ve ever used a toilet with an automatic flush. But I know that I wouldn`t want to. I must be in command when releasing my turds to freedom.

I like to watch them disappear while saying "Goodbye my friends, have a safe journey."

I must admit, I love to see my poop before it leaves on it's long journey to my back yard. It's a sad time for me as I have made a new friend, only to have my friend go away, just as the winds of time...poop too must start anew. I however rejoice in knowing that tomorrow, there will be a new friend in waiting and he shall soon meet the old and share tales of valor with each other.

90% of the time I use them, they flush while I'm still sitting on them. Honestly, it's not the poop that scares me as much as the pee. Poop is (usually) solid as goes down without a fight. Pee mixes with the water and splashes during the flush.

Thank God I've never had the trots in an auto-flush situation.

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Merry feeking Christmas and a crappy New Year to all!

I don't mind as long as the toilet works. My experience with automatic flush toilets is at a public place (airport, restaurant, etc.). I don't like to admire my poop at a public place. Conversly my home has traditional flush handle toilet, and I do check for size and stink within my abode.

I usally cover the sensor with a post-it or a patch of DuctTape. I tend to shift a bit and get comfortable while I'm downloading, and it always flushes when I move.
I once dropped my keys in the bowl just as I was sitting down. DuctTape saved my day.

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You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....

i hate them, but not for the reasons listed. i hate them because they always flush while i'm still sitting, and never flush when i'm done. they're ridiculous and should be destroyed.
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i love poop.

While I, too, hate them, I chose the second option. To quote the great Captain Spaulding "Any port in a motherfucking storm."

If it flushes, it it Good.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

I like to see it first. A protein turd floats and a carb one sinks....so I know how my diet is going.

I hate the bastards! But, like Wonderpance, not for the reasons listed on the poll. I can't stand them for the very reason she mentions. It never fails.

When I have a good, solid poop or a pee, they start to flush while I'm in the middle of downloading. When I have a nasty mountain of pizza-induced diarrhea that would make only my anti-gallbladder proud, or worse, I fill the bowl with slimey period blood, the things NEVER flush! Especially if there is someone waiting outside for the very last stall, and it's mine!

Death to the auto-flush!

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Beware the shitticane. Election, 2008.

whenever i poop ,i feel poop sticking my ass cheeks or the sides of the ass. how can we clean it with a jet .if we move right or left the water splashes on the legs....uff what to do

Auto flush toilets are great but with ONE glaring exception. When the solenoid goes on the auto flusher. At first you think either the toilet is clogged and wont flush or the manual flusher wont work but that is NOT the case. The solenoid actually controls the valve at flush time. This happened to a coworker during the dreaded dump at work. We all thought it was a clog. Fortunately our plumber carries a spare with him at all times. It was actually pretty funny he sat on the seat above the unflushed dump popped the old solenoid out replaced it and the poo flushed right down. My hat goes off to this brave soul who has probably had to sit above far worse dumps than the one takin in this crapper.
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

I admit it. I like to admire my handiwork before sending it on its way. It's so sad when it's gone before we've had our time to say our good-byes.
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Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Theres only one shituation where I love the autoflush - on public urinals. For some reason no one ever flushes their urine here at college, it just sits and smells bad. You walk in and it smells like a 2 yr old peed all over the floor. The installation of the autoflush took care of that particular issue, and those never seem to prematurely take off on me either.

The regular commode ones piss me off cuz like other people, I tend to move on the pot and it gies me several premature flushes. Not to mention it always flushes before I get done wiping and then its gotta flush again or leave my shit stained paper in the bowl. Besides the extra flusing can give a sense to false hope to someone anxiously waiting!

*sigh, the modern conveniences.

I work in maintenancem I think that they are Great. because there are some people that stil refuse to flush the toilet after they use it.
There is nothing more gross the going in to clean a toilet that someone did not flush.

I voted that I like them very much. I dig all the automated stuff in bathrooms; sinks, towel dispensers, hand dryers, etc.

But to be honest, I rarely encounter many autoflush toilets and/or urinals.

I guess I don't get out enough..........

I'm on board the hate train when it comes to these as well. And I also dislike the automated taps and paper towel dispensers because half the time they don't work properly and I wind up waving my hands around like a maniac trying to get them to work. Sometimes they make me feel invisible.

Snapper. Loved your description of waving hands frantically around. I feel particularly stupid (and, yes, invisible) when this happens at the sink. On the other hand, I prefer this to having to touch the muck-crusted hardware in public restrooms. But in the stall, I prefer a manual lever I can depress with my foot. I want to send the little fellas off myself, and stomping on something seems the perfect gesture -- "Take that, you shit."

Logger - I used to do the foot thing as well until I made a drunken misjudgment and wound up with my foot in the toilet!

I think that automatic things are good anywhere but with the toilet. They always flush when I'm in mid-wipe. And auto-flush valves cost alot more than manual flush valves. They also require electricity. What a waste! Another issue is that if they clog, and you end up near the toilet, it's going to overflow.

YEA. EVEYTiiME ii GO POOP, THERE'S ALWAYS THiiS WHiiTE SLiiME COMiING OUT OF Y BUT,, WiiTH SOME BLOOD;; ii AM HAViiNG MY PERiiOD;; SO ii UNDERSTAND THE BLOOD PART,BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SLiiME[[CLEAR.]]

first of all, the way you type isn't cool. you may think it is, but it's just stupid and annoying. what's with teenagers these days?

having said that, i'm pretty sure that slime is probably just vaginal discharge. it happens to women when we're on our period, and sometimes when we're not. are you sure it's coming out of your butt? if you're really concerned, you should see a doctor.
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i love poop.

Amen, Snapper! I waved for a few minutes trying to start a faucet at a Wally-World. Then I found a piece of gum stuck over the sensor.

Good news: I had plenty of hot water to scrub my hands after I peeled the gum off.
Bad news: Touchless towel dispensor! AHHHHHHH!!!
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You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....

My first experience with an autoflusher was at the Emporium department store when I was about 8 or so. I dumped my load and the toilet flushed under me. It was a horrible screeching noise and it would have scared the shit out of me had I not just taken a dump. I remember thinking "Did the toilet next to mine trigger this one?" I was terrified--keep in mind that I was pooping in the department store because I already had a toilet phobia and wouldn't go at home.

RoboCrap13 (192) -- 11.28.2007

I usally cover the sensor with a post-it or a patch of DuctTape..

I hate them but i will try this Robocrap13 seems like a good idea

I think that every aspect of our lives is having technology thrust upon us. I forsee the bathroom of the future as being much like a car wash. After we sit we get a pre-rinse with a teflon spray to prevent turdage from sticking. Heat sensors will detect when the poop has stopped, and flush the toilet. Then a spinning chamois rotor will align with the crack, and wipe it clean. After a compressed air-dry we will be sprayed with a pine scented mist and be on our way. Think it is science fiction? So was space travel.

Whether I'm shittin' or peeing, it don't make no difference, those automtic flushers suck. I'm a junior in high school. Our school was just remodeled last year and they were put in. Sure, I know some of us didn't take time to flush, because we had to get to class, and things. However, in just the first four months of school, I've found several problems with them. l) when I sit down on the seat, I don't know if I'm sitting in someone's piss or bowl water that was thrown. 2) Often, when I have to shit, if I can't immediately shit, after sitting down, I will move farther back on spread my legs--sometimes this helps me get my shit started--but sometimes it flushes and it can be a surprise to me because my butt and pubic area gets a drenching. Last week I had a half drank cup of Starbucks on the floor in front of the stool, and I saw a couple of drops plop into it. Now that sucks. And my boyfriend was shitting just before biology class and while waiting for it to come, he opened his notes on his laptop and he said by moving his legs a little, the sensor was activated and he got a few splashes on both his keyboard and screen. Both he and I think the new flushes are more wicked than when we flushed by hand. And he and I always flushed, but I guess we were in a minority so now the majority suffers. It sucks and doesn't make sense.

I hate them due to the tainted water splashes that come at unexpected times.

And I've only encountered the things in the skankiest of bathrooms - WalMart, airports and such.

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And it burns, burns, burns -
The ring of fire.

Should we feel sorry for those such as Shaylen who are inconvienced with bowl water splashing into their coffee cups or onto their laptops? It's thoroughly stupid to take such things into a public bathroom in the first place--let alone the cleanliness issue! My problem with the automatic flushers come when I dutifully put sheets of toilet paper over the seat--a gingerly task that usually activates the sensor. Yesterday, I was seated in an airport restroom and while sitting steadily on the paper, noticed that one sheet had started to slip off and that a part of my left thigh was on the seat. As I took my right hand to adjust the paper from my seated situation, the flusher went off and my right hand got as much of a waterlogging as if I had dipped it in the bowl. I started to cry and got so pissed off, that I flicked all the paper off and sat directly down to complete my shit. I just don't see how I can win with those automatic flushers!

They're kinda really annoying...

Now this is a real eye-opener for me. I didn't even know such wondrous things existed (no joke!). But I don't think I'd like to use such a thing, and I tend to agree with what PD wrote earlier. Cock-eyed half-arsed technology, just for the sake of it. Whats wrong with a manual foot-pedal if people are worried about getting germs from a lever or button? Even if some turd terrorist left a darkie on the pedal, would it be a big deal to chuck a bit of 'swipe on it and press the pedal?
No, I'm happy with the old-fashioned type.

They kind of scare me. And stand up, or your bum is going to get wet....

They steal the sense of completion you get by flushing yourself.

ALABANii, that's the digested contents of your grammar and spellchecker. Didn't you know you aren't supposed to shove those up your ass?

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Born right the first time.

This thread was about Auto flushing dunnies, (cans, long drops, great white telephones, shitters, kazies, bogs, netties, thunderboxes, crappers, buttsuckers, loaf machines, etc.) Again I find myself refering to the worlds greatest bumfoddermuncher. It is just behind (!snigger) the reception of the Hotel, 'Auburge De Waterloo'(double snigger, butt I sware its true)The hotel is in Waterloo, Belgium. This turd muncher is robotic. It is not only an auto flush throne, butt once it realises you are dunn, a little arm pops out of the cistern, picks up the seat (horizontaly) brushes, washes and dries the seat, while rotating it through 360 degrees. I'm organising a coach trip so you guys can see this wonder.

OK, we have a laugh on Daves site, but this is true. Its hilarious to watch it clean itself, I think one of my engineers has a piccy of it. _______

whats that smell?

BVC, if you stay seated will that little arm rotate you 360 and wash and dry your ass instead. That would impress me.

I get it PD, but you have to consider pounds per square inch here, what was a small robotic arm, would turn into an elephants trunk of a thing.

Hmmm... elephants trunks.......

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whats that smell?

I myself, it should be noted, only wear mans trunks.

Just wanted to clear that up

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whats that smell?

...so what does an elephant keep in it's trunk?
Six feet of snot.

NoNoNo, what's green, weighs 50 pounds, and hangs in the jungle.

I've heard an octopus works really well.

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Born right the first time.

My octopus won't work at all, he's a lazy turd.

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whats that smell?

I am not a big fan of them either. Those things make me feel rushed when I am shitting, and I don't like to feel rushed when I am having a bowel movement. Also, I usually stand when I wipe, and those things flush before I finish wiping. I generally dislike them.

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In search of the ever evasive BM

Huh. I've never had that problem with my octopus.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

I have mine trained to clean the toilet. Eight arms, each with a brush held by the suckers. Puts Mr. Clean to shame.

i don't like them because it takes away the possibility to play the practical joke of pooping in a toilet, locking the door, and crawling out when nobody's in the bathroom. I've only done that twice, but it's really funny.

Daphne, how many of the critters do you have? singular or octo-pie?_______

whats that smell?

BVC, I'm sure Daphne doesn't have a recipe for octo-pie. If you want mine, I'll be glad to share it with you.

I have a recipe for septo-pie (I eat the lame) that I would be happy to share as well.

wrong kind of pie!

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whats that smell?

I hate 'em. Last time I used one was at the local Wal-Mart. Damn thing flushed while the turd was still coiling up in the bowl. Never did get to see what it looked like.

Auto-flush toilets are thieves of glory. They rob me of the felling of accomplishment and prevent me from being able to monitor my health.

A fresh octopus makes great ceviche.

My sense has been that, with regard to premature flushing, they are getting better. But just a few days ago in the Salt Lake City airport, I had one going off on me every 15 seconds, even if I held still. Then when I wiped and stood up, no flush. As I was walking out it occurred to me that maybe these things can be controlled by some fuckhead in an adjacent stall with a device that can trigger the flush mechanism. If so, I want one.

LJ, you must have accidently used the Morman family toilet. The only way they can handle that much shit is to flush every 15 seconds.

Now that you mention it, PD, the seat was extra roomy, even for a "wide guy" like me. And on the inside of the stall door was one of these.

Im sure she will need therapy soon. Priceless!!

I like the muzzle.

It's a gas mask, Bilge.
I'm sure that 'Poopsie' would beg for one if he could.
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You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....