That's cool Motherload! I never would have thought they would come up with an operation like this. You know how medical science (surgery) is always naming a specific procedure after the person who had it done first, like Tommy John surgery for UCL reconstruction?

I wonder if this one could be called Yawning John surgery or the Caprese correction.

This is a FANTASTIC piece to share with all the little children that won't eat their veggies. I have already passed this on to all of my friends and relatives to share with their kids! The response has been mixed so far.

Thanks Motherload!

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Happy crappin'
www.homegrownmedia.com

My anal nerves seem to be working fine. Reading your description, Motherload, of the various procedures gave them a real workout. I wonder if just reading this may have given you that ants-in-the-pants feeling, Caprese?

When I got to the part about the "four to six needles" my balloon knot clamped shut. I am cured. Thank you.

Hmmm is there any danger of lets say a fart causing a malfunction of the inflatable. OR would you be able to fart? Would the sphincter part for that moment of gaseous release?
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

LOL! It would be something to fart and not have it escape. Slowly, your ass rises off the chair, like a balloon.......then your sphincter kicks in and you end up blowing around the room til' you find yourself laying flat on the floor.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Daphne, I just spilled tea all over myself.
I pictured the opening sequence to "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" with Roger flying around face first!
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You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....

Crikey! Why didn`t the 6 Million Dollar Man have an artificial anus? Imagine what he could have done with a bionic sphincter.

That would have made him the $6,150,000 man and he would have gone over budget.

I wonder whether this is how the Borg got their start? Six needles to the sphincter, a little electrical stimulation and the next thing you know, you're the asshole of the universe.
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Resistance is Futile.

I've often wondered if the north end of the southbound six million dollar man walking backward was bionic as well...and to what extent...hmm....

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Merry feeking Christmas and a crappy New Year to all!

Mary, you just made my brain hurt.
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i love poop.

I'm still chuckling at the term "sphincteroplasty"! I thought they were taking bungholes from donors and giving them a new home! I might just have to change a few things on my "organ donor card".

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Thank you so much for your response, Motherload.
Just wanted to clarify something: I am not incontinent (as of yet!) so even though my sphincter is weakened, I guess it's not weakened to the point of making me incontinent.

In other words: no, I haven't shat my pants. The only thing I do notice is that when I'm having a BM, I push and I never know if anything came out till I look back. So that part of the sphincter where you feel things moving through, that's what sort of lost nerve function, but strangely, I can hold things in pretty well. For this reason, I would dread having a surgical procedure, as I have read a number of times that while it might help, it might also make things worse for the anus.

I think I might instead try some acupuncture? I just want something more natural that won't mess me up more than I am. But your advice is right on target for someone who is truly incontinent, and I hope it won't happen to me. I am already taking very good care of myself, taking a fiber supplement daily, drinking tons of water, never straining in the bathroom, avoiding gassy foods at all costs (those foods make me strain even more due to the cramps they cause,) I'm doing Kegel exercises (which you won't believe, but TRULY strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, and faster than I ever thought--1 month and I can feel quite a difference!!) so that's my story.

By the way, I saw a colorectal surgeon, and he refused to do a surgical procedure for the rectal prolapse because he said "it was too small" and he only does surgery on bigger ones. Geez, is he suggesting that I stay with it for the rest of my life? That I was NOT happy about. But I have a new appointment with him about the weakened sphincter, so I'll keep you guys posted.
Thanks again for your advice Motherload.

i wish i could go back in time and make a funny joke about my weekend anus vs. my weekday anus.

oh well. it probably wouldn't have been very funny anyway.
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i love poop.

Just out of curiosity Caprese, did the surgeon you saw define what constitutes (no pun intended) a "bigger anus"??

And did he happen to mention how the average person might obtain one? Are you born with it...does it stretch over time...etc...??

This is a statement that confuses me. It's like a plastic surgeon that only does boob jobs on women with C cups or bigger.

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Merry feeking Christmas and a crappy New Year to all!

To Mary Queen of Scats:
Ok, let me explain. I have 2 problems, one is the rectal prolapse, and the other is the weakened anus/sphincter.

The first problem was the rectal prolapse, and that is what caused the weakened sphincter.
So when I saw the surgeon (over a year ago) I was mainly looking to correct the prolapse. He did mention that my sphincter was a bit weak, but he didn't say much about it, and at that point my #1 concern was the prolapse.

He said he could not do surgery on the PROLAPSE because it was "too small". You know there's full prolapses? I've seen the pictures and they're awful. It's like the whole rectum turns upside down and comes out of your body.
My prolapse is very small, so the surgeon said there was nothing to operate on it.

Now I have a follow-up appointment to deal with the weakened sphincter. But to answer your question, no, he did not mention I had a "bigger anus", he only said it didn't seem as strong as the usual anuses he enters (since that's what he does for a living, he inserts his finger in people's anuses, lol.)

Ahhhh....I see. My mistake.

At least he didn't call your anus unremarkable...poor Anna Nicole.

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Merry feeking Christmas and a crappy New Year to all!

hey Mary, you wouldn't happen to be a fan of Best Week Ever, would you? i only got your joke (and laughed at it) because of that show.
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i love poop.

my problem is burning, tingling, sensitive, tight anus ,feels like it is dried out, and cracked,. i am taking diazepam which stops all of this shortly.i have sebrrorheic dermatitis when i use medicine for this i get a tight anus and it burns there is no icthing at all in anus
is there any nerves that can be removed to stop all of this sensation.

ok ill start bye saying i became incontinent over a period of years,i was constipated for a while had tinglying down below in the anus,3 years ago is when it got started,it was gas excaping,people said it smelled like diareahh,this was before i became incontinent,i did all the mitakes,i didnt drink enough water,i drank coffee,it was april 2008 when i stopped eating,i didnt feel hungry,i didnt do anything,i became weak in 8 days time,my belly didnt growl,but i looked pregnant as some people suggested,when the doctor found some medicine to clear up the constipation it worked like a charm,except i soil myself every day and urinate on myself,i have to use diapers just so i can leave the house,it was embarrassing about the first month,after thati got angry,alot,i go back to doctor on friday,but i dont want them to stick needles in me,i dont want to become worse,ive read stories where some people got worse,i know your not doctors,what would you do
debra

so could this be the reason i feel my hole dont close and i feel funny and get nerves and how can i fix it im 19yo i dont want to tell any 1 about it i think ppl say i stink but my mom says im nuts but i feal like my hole dont close around ppl and i get paranoid help me please its messing my whole life up im fine around like 2 ppl in my whole fam please please help me