Have had to be taking Vicodin ES and cannot seem to go #2 very much. I am totally miserable and would love advice on the best way to handle this- I will have to take painkillers for a while. Never had this problem before and I'd really love to be able to offload normally. You don't know what you got 'til it's gone, I guess!

Dear Embarassed,

Thanks for the question.

Vicodin and other narcotics can certainly bung you up for a while. Increase your intake of fiber and water.

After you have recovered from your ailment, send any extra Vicodins IMMEDIATELY to:

Poonurse
c/o Poop Report.

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse [1]

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility. Got a question [2] for her?