Rosie O'Donnell is the only one still amongst the living. The others I could ignore.
As far as "Other", I'd have to say Steve-O or Johnny from Jackass. With my luck I'd get caught between them in a poop fight.

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You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....

I`d hate to be in the stall next to the slapper O`Donut when her ass explodes. It would be like a mine going off in a swamp.

Having a dead person in the stall next to you is ideal. They don't make noise, don't try to converse with you (or someone on a cell phone), and dont signal you under the divider. When I submitted this poll, I had envisioned them as still alive. Lets pretend.

On the other hand, out of these folk, I would really like to be in the adjacent stall to Hem.

There would be great banter and tall tales of hunting trips. Complete with butt imitations of the trumpeting of elephants and big bore explosions to punctuate the adventures.

Where's Rush Limbaugh? That guy eats enough opiates to kill a plowhorse so you know he's bound up with at least a 2 footer every time he can coax one out and he's kind of a fat ass too, so he can't be eating too healthy. Can you imagine him huffing and grunting out a 4 pound herione baby next to you?

How about Emeril the TV chef.
"gonna kick it up a notch BAM!!!" That's the ceyane pepper.

How about Pee Wee Herman? Because you KNOW he isn't taking a dump in the other stall.... he's just creepy.

If I could take a dump next to any celebrity live or dead, it would have to be Herve Villechaize. I hear he was a violent alcoholic and I'd love to hear the noises he'd make while unloading a couple quarts of fire-water.

Pamela Anderson is dead? Wow. You mean that I've been masturbating while fantasizing about a dead woman? That's so gross!
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Vern, Vern, Vern, Vern, Vern. You've gone and done it now, buddy.

Sorry, Deja, I was thinking about Anna Nicole Smith. Mea culpa...
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You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....

Britney Spears. I'd never want to shit next to her. First, the shit she is taking would smell better than she does, and second, I'm not sure I'd want the paparazzi's snapping and lighting going on as I try to evacuate the citizens of my lower bowels. I'll add Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton, for the same reasons, plus I don't want any crabs scampering under the stall...
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Assaulting toilets since 1977!

Ernest Hemingway would have been one hell of a Poopreporter...I am envisioning "The Old Man and the Shit", as an aged man squeezes out the largest, feistiest grogan of his 80-odd years...
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Assaulting toilets since 1977!

That's okay, RC13. Silicone, saline or formaldehyde -- it's all good.
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Yo quiero Taco Bell.

I've got to stop reading these polls before heading to the head. When I looked down at the mess I'd made, the first thought that came to mind was "Yep, I'll bet even Rosie couldn't smell as bad as that."
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Yo quiero Taco Bell.

This poll makes no sense.

Barry Bonds. With all those steroids, that turd would come flying out of his ass like it was shot out of a cannon. You might get injured by flying porcelin schrapnel.

_Rosie O’s putrid, fetid, embarrassingly unused, tiny two brain cells desperately trying to avoid each other in that fat, ugly head would by themselves make her (its) dump so noxious that you’d wake up convulsing with your face seared by the burning shitter floor watching tiles falling off and paint peeling from the walls from under the stall door. Oh, and you also shat all over yourself.

On top of that, who knows what that fat, deluded tool shoves down her gullet that would only make it so that you might gain consciousness after 7 years of being in a coma (and then hopefully going after her ala Steven Seagal)?

Anyway, I choose her. Hillary wouldn’t be any picnic either…

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What's so funny 'bout poop, love, and understanding?

Least like, and most like wouldn't make a difference to me as long as it made for a great stall story. My choice would be Ralph Kramden. I can hear it now Hamana, Hamana, Hamana.....Whaaaaaaaa.

Who's Tom Cruise?

oh wait....wrong thread....

I can think of a few that I'd LOVE to shit next to. "get a whiff of that, why don't cha!" Least like? I dunno. I guess any of the Baldwin boys. Or Tom Cruise. (oh, wait, his shit doesn't stink). So yeah, probably the Baldwin boys.

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

I chose other, because I certainly wouldn't want to shit in the stall next to Mel Gibson. With the way he's been acting, he'd likely stand on the edge of the bowl and shout down into the water to rise his turd from the dead. And of course it might marry my shit and declare that it was going to hell because it was Episcopalian.

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Beware the shitticane. Election, 2008.

Rosie O'Donuts would be the worst: Ill be sittin there tryin to pinch one off and havin her there in the next stall lecturing me on how 9/11 was a conspiracy, how fire can't melt steal, how bush is a terrorist, how she didn't get kicked off the view but left, ramble ramble blah blah blah.

Ernest would be the best, but i wouldnt be able to shit because hell have me crackin up from him doin his impressions while he poops and then hear him go eeeewwww when he turns around to flush.

I voted for other. If I had to shit next to someone, it would be Marlie Matlin. She's deaf. I could blow ass as loud as I wanted and not feel the least bit self-conscious.

Then again, being in a stall in a row of 5 stalls with the other 4 occupied by the Baldwin brothers after Happy Hour was well underway sounds absolutely delicious. MMmmm, tuned up Baldwin brothers.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

TSV, I had the most hilarious picture in my mind of Mel Gibson acting crazy in the stall, and while you try to peer under to make sure he is not a threat, he screams "What are you looking at, Sugarshits??"
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Assaulting toilets since 1977!

i think hemingway....i'm just imagining a stench that can't compare to anything else... an odor that could clear out a building...

rosie o'donnell would be next. she would probably talk so much it would break my concentration.

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all aboard the farty train to pooterville..if you can't shit at my house, we aren't friends

PC, I had Hemingway in mind because of that very reason. A tukus torpedo made up of fermented wild animals, and fueled by absynthe would be almost too much to comprehend. That bathroom would become a superfund site.

Super fund site? I beg to differ...it would most certainly be a historic land mark!

landmark or no, it would stink to high heavens. pd, it's nice to know brilliant minds think alike!

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all aboard the farty train to pooterville..if you can't shit at my house, we aren't friends

I like the idea of Britney Spears. Just to hear her sing "Oops- I Pooted Again."

Or how about Elvis? I can just hear that- "Hey man, that's a hunk-a hunk-a there."

Gilbert Gottfried. Constipated. On a cell phone.

And he has no toilet paper.

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You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....

And you in the middle of a million wiper. And you just ran out of tp. Pure hell.

Actually having gone to school with this guy....and having been in the stall next to him from time to time. The late Christopher Farley took some pretty wicked dumps AND did them complete with play by play AND COLOR commentary as well. He was a true shameless shitter if there ever is one. Miss ya buddy!
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

Imagine Chris Farley on one side and John Candy on the other. I'd be laughing so hard I'd shit myself, and that would be ok.

Voted for other. PD, imagine Chris Farley, John Candy and then Shelly Winters in one of the other stalls.

And Shelly is only in there because she already clogged up the ladies room.

How about the 4 guys from "Redneck Comedy Tour"? I wouldn't be able to push anything out because I'd be laughing so hard. It would be great!

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You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....

Rachael Ray. I've seen what she eats on her shows on The Food Network, and I imagine it smells much worse coming out that it does while she's cooking it.

Pam Anderson. Becasue she'd probably be doing someone and I would hurt myself tring to take pictures w/ my phone.