First we stopped for lunch at Subway. We split a chicken sub with various bits of vegetables tossed in, and it actually tasted pretty good. After enjoying our lunch, we went shopping. No, it wasn't my idea, but Jen insisted we go to the mall, saying we hadn't been there for several weeks. So I gave in, just so she'd be happy. Besides, it's not like there's much else to do in mid-November.
We spent most of the day at the mall. It was almost five by the time we left. We were both exhausted. As we were going back to Jen's house, she started complaining about really bad cramps. I gave her some water, thinking it might help, but it only got worse. So I stopped at Starbucks so she could use the washroom. When she emerged, she said she felt really sick and wanted to go home. I dropped her off as soon as possible.
While I was driving back to my place, I started feeling pretty sick myself. It was livable for a few minutes, but then that all-too-familiar rumbling and gut-wrenching set in. I wrenched my asshole shut as I drove as fast as I could through the city, too chicken to speed because the roads were a slushy wasteland and I couldn't afford to get in an accident -- I'd only been licensed for seven or eight months!
As I pulled into the driveway, I was groaning out loud because cramps were shooting through my stomach like electric shocks. I just couldn't take any more -- I completely lost control of myself and unleashed a huge load of brown silly putty right then and there in the car.
After a moment of wallowing in sweet, sweet relief, I realized how much trouble I was in. I went in the house and quickly retreated up to my room to change my soiled clothes and assess the damage. It was worse than I expected. My boxers and pants were literally dripping smelly shit, and there were skid marks down my legs.
Unfortunately, I had to tell my parents what happened, because the mess had soaked clean through my jeans. After I awkwardly explained what had taken place, they were pretty upset, saying I'm "too old" to be shitting myself... riiight, as if stuff like this never happens to *them*, huh?
I was grounded from the car for a whole fucking week and had to clean up after this dis-ass-ter myself. I was sick for the rest of evening, literally running to the toilet every ten minutes to shit. All because of that damn Subway sandwich
It was very long night, to say the least. But fortunately it was over by morning. I called Jen and she said the exact same thing had happened to her. Needless to say, we've been pretty leery about eating at Subway ever since.
Yes, there is still a shit stain on that car seat.