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How many separate waves or impulses do you have when you poop?

Posted 06.11.2008 by oldpoop (4)
Just one: a single impulse and I'm empty.
11% (38 votes)
Two: occasionally the first one doesn't get it all out.
23% (80 votes)
Three: each meal makes its own exit.
8% (27 votes)
More than three: that's why it takes so long.
7% (25 votes)
It varies. No poop is the same!
41% (141 votes)
I've never counted!
10% (34 votes)
Total votes: 345
wonderpance (602) -- 06.11.2008

i've never actually counted, but i do know that it's almost always more than one. i don't think i've ever had it all come out in one go. i bet it's nice to only push once and be empty. a real time saver!
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i love poop.

ChiefThunderbutt (946) -- 06.11.2008

It really depends on what I have eaten. A nice greasy KFC poop slides out pretty much unhindered in segmented lumps.

I very seldom push out a log so it is difficult to say.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

prarie doggin (2337) -- 06.11.2008

The first wave is more like a tsunami, followed by a wave of people exiting the house.

MSG (754) -- 06.11.2008

This is basically a repeat of the poll I submitted some time ago. I'm still interested in seeing the answers.

Bilgepump (1753) -- 06.11.2008

I'm with Wedgie, never bothered or paid attention....I take the paper in, sit down and read it through. When I'm done reading, I grab the cat. Usually, I'm done shitting, but there are occasions that the cat protests far more vehemently than usual.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

shitake boy (100) -- 06.12.2008


I voted for it varies. There are times when I poop and it all comes out in one wave (although that is rare), and then there are times that I have had as much as eight separate waves. The average is about two to three waves. The time I had the eight waves, I was at my in-law's house, and was on the toilet for 45 minutes. I also must have flushed about 4 times, I filled the bowl three of those times before my flushes. I know another wave is coming when I feel a loose or liquidy rumbling in my stomach. and within seconds, the wave comes on. It all goes back to the very unpredictable bowels that I have.

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In search of the ever evasive BM

Thunderbox (891) -- 06.12.2008

Mine can be compared best with a squadron of Japanese kamikaze pilots. Generally there is one massive wave of destruction battering into the pan - but every now and then, after this onslaught, there is a smaller aftershock caused by the cowardly pilot who had bottled out of the first run.

Nine Inch Log (363) -- 06.12.2008

Two for me.its like popping the cork on a bottle of champaign: a quick explosion followed by a slow fizz.

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Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Postman (395) -- 06.12.2008

I guess one. Usually one push and it's out. But occasionally it breaks off before it's all the way out and then it takes a second push to finish up. Damn stragglers.

shitwit (578) -- 06.12.2008

It's really a toss up b/w one or two waves for me. I'd say about a 50/50 split. When I'm having a full on lactose induced attack of the shits then it's one hard blast of nasty doodoo butter. If I've managed to keep the poop in my guts for a little longer and it's more dried out then I'll poop it out in two waves.

PD- I know exactly what you mean about the tsunami or poonami, as it may be.


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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Anonymous Coward (not verified) -- 06.13.2008

Yeah... Fresh poop usually takes no more than two waves for me. But for poop that has remained in my rectum overnight, it's a different story altogether. I guess once you've been in there you just want to stay longer...

Hum bunger (107) -- 06.15.2008

Most of my sessions consist of one big poop purging wave followed by a wave of euphoria. My body sticks to this routine so much that on the rare occasion of a multi-wave attack my sphincter over reacts. After the unexpected extra waves pass it'll continue to spasm. The colons empty, but the damn ring won't relax. Like dry heaving - out the ass.

Postman (395) -- 06.15.2008

I guess when it's solid it's an impulse. When it's liquid it's a wave.

Regardless (14) -- 06.15.2008

It ranges from one to three. I am usually good to go after just one wave.


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- - - Regardless, the long hair

The Shit Volcano (3740) -- 06.16.2008

I've never really counted, like many others above, but I guess it usually comes out in one wave. When I ate like crap I used to have two or three because it took so long to push out the sticky fast food poop. It's nice to get it done and be out of there with only a few wipes.

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Well, you don't actually blow on it. That's just an expression.

Chuck (297) -- 06.16.2008

More than others two usually takes care of the trick. The occasional watery stool and gargantuan dump 24 hours after a big meal are exceptiosn to my rule.

jayhill (20) -- 06.17.2008

I most often have about three (but it does vary). I like it best when there is just one impulse and it results in one giant turd. But whatever the count, taking a shit is one of the pleasures of life. I remember stories of fathers who looked forward to their Sunday shit reading the Sunday paper. Women it seems never understand this.

daphne (3696) -- 06.17.2008

I understand it. Here, it's the sports pages or ESPN magazine.


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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Concretious Turdous (not verified) -- 06.17.2008

Mine are like Humbinger's. A massive attack wave followed by the spasms. Only my spasms are so bad that they hurt. Most of the time it feels like a giant softball with spikes and razor blades. Sometimes this ball is on fire and accompanied by a molten lava feeling. I used to enjoy my shits but the days of the Bundy are gone.

poop luver (not verified) -- 06.18.2008

ive never acctually counted! lol... um new question?! oops... i just farted and it smells like shit!

The Shit Volcano (3740) -- 06.19.2008

If it smells like burning plastic, it's not shit.

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Well, you don't actually blow on it. That's just an expression.

count-dookie (7) -- 07.19.2008

ive never actually thought about that til now its kinda like
mount krakatoa exploding over an innocent toilet bowel after the explosions and grunts i guess its smooth sailing

vegetarian pooper (not verified) -- 10.17.2008

somtimes it just comes out all at once,other times i have to sit for a few minutes and then boom big farts come out and then more poop then sometimes there are 4 waves

sittingpretty (284) -- 10.17.2008

Well, this is certainly disturbingly funny. Eventhough each one of you made your function funny, I still saw really groosss gag me smelling shit of different levels of moisture and tone, color and...a disant, faint yet distinct wiff of agh! SHIT!

chuck0 (not verified) -- 10.18.2008

usually one big involuntary impulse for me. i hold my poop in a lot though, and only dump every 3 or 4 days. So when i do finally go, it's urgent!

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