Jan was a university employee who had been conducting a diarrhea study in our ED. They needed hundreds of patients to participate. So whenever we had a patient with the squirts, one of the nurses would call Jan. She would tell the patients about the study to see if they were interested. All they had to do was fill out a questionnaire, give a stool sample, and get fifty dollars for it.
I ate lunch with the Diarrhea Lady (her nickname) one afternoon. She told me how much trouble she was having getting control subjects for her study.
Me: "What do you have to do?"
Diarrhea Lady: "Just give a stool sample."
Me: "You don't have to have diarrhea?"
DL: "No. We need normal control subjects, too."
Me: "Do you still get the fifty dollars?"
DL: "Yes."
Me: "Sign me up!"
Within five minutes, she had produced a plastic bucket and a small questionnaire for me to fill out.
DL: "Call me when you have your sample. I have to get it to the lab within two hours."
Me: "Don't go anywhere. I feel a specimen coming on right now."
I am always participating in studies at work. Most have been on a volunteer basis and involved needles. So I was happy to participate in this one that was painless AND paid money. I was amazed that more hospital employees weren't lining up for this opportunity. I turned around to my coworkers in the lunchroom and asked them if they had participated. Only one had.
After depositing my specimen, I went back to my office to tell my cube mates.
Me: "She's in the lunch room right now, if you're interested."
No one got up.
Me: "It's the easiest fifty bucks I've ever made."
They looked at me like I had two heads. One of the nurses said, "I don't need fifty dollars that badly."
Me: "I don't need fifty dollars that badly, either, but I had to take a dump anyway! Why not get paid for it?"
I called up my mom and my sister to tell them about this easy cash-making opportunity. My mother wasn't interested, but my (Shameless) sister was happy to earn such an easy fifty. She drove right over to the hospital to pick up a bucket.
I also brought one home for my husband. He wasn't as enthused as I was about having to crap in a plastic bucket, but he did it anyway.
That was the easiest fifty dollars I have ever made!