I started a new job this week. Of course, my first priority was examining the bathroom facilities. I have worked for dozens of companies in my lifetime and have visited hundreds of public restrooms, but this one is an all-new experience. I have yet to take a dump at this place because I have never yet had the urge; but I am sure that the day will come. I refuse to be a Shameful Shitter at my new job -- which is good, because will probably be impossible to be Shameful with such a small group of employees.

My new employer owns a small company that has been is business for about thirty years. I only have twenty-three fellow employees. The pay is very good, and while the job is easy, it can get hectic at times. My only complaint is that they are about fifteen years behind when it comes to technology: my computer has no internet and my email is Outlook Express for internal use only. I basically only use my computer to look up and move parts, create work orders, and make and close purchase orders. They don't even use Microsoft Office, which means I have to manually write down a lot of information on charts and log books.

Eighty percent of the employees are men, and ninety percent have been with the company for twenty years or more. I am forty-four years old and I am one of the youngest employees. I can understand the low turnover rate because they pay well and it is a great place to work. But being fifteen years behind, they still have that old-time factory mentality.

They open the building at seven AM and we work until the horn blows at 9:40 to announce our first ten-minute break. The horn sounds again at 9:50 to announce that it is time for everyone to go back to work. We hear the horn again at noon, 12:30, 2:00, 2:10, and finally at 3:30, when we close the building and everybody goes home.

Now: on to the men's room. It is cleaned only once a week (on Wednesdays), so by Tuesday it is very nasty. I have never seen such a collection of pubic hair in one place. They still have one of those old fountain sinks were you step on a bar and the little streams of water shoot out. To dry your hands, they use those pull towels that are on a loop and look like they have been reused repeatedly since the company started.

But what really blew my mind was something I have never experienced in a workplace bathroom: it contains stacks of Playboy and other porno mags. Some of the mags date back to the eighties, and they are everywhere. There is a bookcase against the wall that must hold over fifty magazines. Porn mags are on the floor in the stalls and on the back of the toilet tank. I told my wife about this; she feels that this is a form of sexual harassment because guys in the bathroom looking at naked women must then come out of the bathroom all horny and interact with female employees with lust on their minds.

Naturally I would never touch one of these magazines, knowing that guys are reading them before, during, and after touching their dicks and balls and wiping their asses. I am not sure if management knows about the mags, because they have private locked bathrooms for their own personal use.