Jose Cruz was pulled over last Monday night in South Charleston, WV, for driving with his headlights off. He was subjected to a series of sobriety tests, which he failed. According to WSAZ in Charleston, Cruz was then placed under arrest. After the arrest, Cruz was fingerprinted, a fairly standard procedure.

What happened next was anything but standard. During the fingerprinting, Cruz, knowing he was down to his last few weapons, called upon his great presence of mind and fired off his most potent ammunition [1]. Ammunition that was characterized by the investigating officer as having a "very strong" odor.

Cruz didn't merely emit his haze in the officer's general area, though: he actually stepped closer to him in order to achieve maximum effect, releasing his fumes as near ground zero as possible.

The report mentions nothing of sound effects.

We must assume the officers had completed HAZMAT training, because their only (obviously highly-justified) reaction was to augment Cruz's DUI and obstruction charges with a charge of battery on an officer.

What did this driver think? I suspect he hoped his emission would be strong enough to overcome his captors (gasp! cough!) so he could effect his escape. Or perhaps he thought they would have pity on him because of his rancid digestion. Or, most likely, he didn't think. He merely felt the urge and gratified it, drifting over to the officer for companionship in an intimate moment. One waits for the sentencing phase of his trial.