TO: Dave [1]
FROM: P.J.
DATE: 5.23.02001
==============================
Here are some pics of Japanese products with Janglish (Japanese/English) with
some sort of reference to poop.
NOTE: This probably came from Engrish.com [2].
TO: Dave [3] I didn't find this the slightest bit funny, but I'm sending this on to those
of you who tend to have a more warped sense of humor than mine...
TO: Dave [4] Whyping poohs on the breasts. Yummy.
TO: Dave [5] MY MOM POOPED ON MY BOYFRIENDS KITCHEN FLOOR ON THE NIGHT I STARTED MY PERIOD
I WAS SO PISSED OFF WITH HER. HE MANAGED TO CLEAN UP THE MESS.
TO: Dave [7] Another private entry of the Captain log? Your fame puts you in the
spotlight.. your private life belongs to your fans now... share, share!! Let the
cameras in so we can see hue and floatage!
Kinda makes your asshole pucker in refusal, dont it?
TO: Dave [8] My fiance must have had some type of flu bug or something running its course
through him yesterday. He woke up feeling fine, showered, ate breakfast, then
left for work... his typical morning routine.
Halfway to work he got a really bad stomach cramp and felt the urge to pass
gas. He did so, but unfortunatly not only gas came out. He was in utter
disbelief that he just shit himself. He got to work and as he's walking in the
door his stomach decides to cramp on him again. He makes a beeline to the
restroom, sits down on the commode and lets loose a huge watery load.
After he finished, he set about the task of disposing of his boxers. He took
them off, wrapped them in paper towels and put them in his pocket... he had
planned on taking them out to his car and throwing them in the trunk until he
could throw them away at home. But no sooner then he stepped outside the
bathroom did his stomach decide to send him back in.
Yet again another huge watery mess. This time when he finished and was on his
way out the door he turned around and threw up in the sink, during all of this he
still doesn't feel sick, just weird. He cleans up the mess he has now made in the
sink. Leaves the restroom and runs into his boss, he told her that he just got
sick in the restroom and that he wasn't sure what was going on with him but he
didn't want to get anybody else sick so he was going home.
She agreed with him that he should. As soon as he set foot outside of the
building, he threw up again. Luckily for him, his stomach decided to cooperate
with him and waited till he got home to unleash more hellish fury.
We still don't know what caused this, but it only lasted a couple of hours.
It was just one of the weirdest flu bugs I have ever heard of, seeing that even
while throwing up he did not feel sick, his only warning of anything was those
couple of stomach cramps.
TO: Dave [10] Although we love to make fun of poop on your website, this is serious. That is
a telltale sign of colon cancer. That is how my uncle (who passed away in Feb)
discovered it. I myself have been diagnosed with diverticolitis (basically a
blow-out of the colon wall) and that is also a precursor to colon cancer. I am
only 30, and I should not get that till im in my 50's. But I dont eat enough
fiber. So that is the case.
You better get checked again man. Colon cancer is nothing to laugh about.
Man, I don't know what's worse -- all of these stories about the horrible things you can do to people with poop, or the fact that I have to see your ass on every page of this website.
Now, I've always said that one thing PoopReport would NOT do is show pictures
of poop. I prefer more cereberal humor -- showing pictures of poop just isn't
highbrow. Nevertheless, I think this picture needs to be seen.
FROM: Kristin
DATE: 6.18.02001
==============================
Hmmm....
FROM: Jen
DATE: 6.16.02001
==============================
Uhhhhh....
FROM: Becca
DATE: 6.13.02001
==============================
In a recent front page item, I lamented about my newfound celebrity status as
The PoopReport Guy. The receptionist [6] at my work found out
about PoopReport. One day, as I walked past her desk on my way to the can, she
had a funny comment about the fact that I'm pooping. In response to my
complaints of my lack of pooping privacy, John said:
FROM: John
DATE: 7.2.02001
==============================
This came. It's not totally a story about poop, but I though people would be
interested in the kind of stuff I get in my mailbox...
FROM: LadyBug
DATE: 6.27.02001
==============================
P.J. wrote this in reference to my bloody stool [9] and subsequent rectal exam.
FROM: P.J.
DATE: 5.12.02001
SUBJECT: I read your story about your bloody poop.
==============================
Finally, Scott wrote this in reference to an I had running on the site.
TO: Dave [11]
FROM: Scott [12]
DATE: 5.12.02001
==============================