You really want to give the poops to your close friends and have no strings to attach you to the crime of giving them the poops-Then replace all cooking oils in baking with petroleum jelly,bakes without burning,no off-taste and when your friends say-pardon me but it just a little "gas" that I have to pass,as they are standing by your side at a party,you might mention that you didn't catch the smell of your friends passing gas,but after the 2nd or 3rd passage of "gas" invite your friend to sit down for a moment and watch the expression on her face as the download begins to spread inside his/or/her's underwear. I have pulled this prank on over 1000 people and counting,so nothing other than 'loose bowels will occur durig a 3 day period,no lasting harm,just a classic look of embrassment of "OH" I shit my pants.
Petroleum Jelly in place of cooking oils leads to anal leakage around the clock! Plenty of humor,low cost,no lasting harm just soiled underwear,as they scoot and poop as they walk!.
LETS SPREAD THE FUN INSIDE THE OFFIC
well one day at school i had felt some pain in my gut and around 6 hour the pai waz unbarable so i ask'ed the teacher if i could use the bathroom and she said wait till school is out and i tried to hold it in but all of a sudden the pain went away and little while later i had to fart and so i was going to let it out little by little as i pushed out the fart and it was no little fart it sounded like a motercycle and all this shit came out of my ass like a water fall and it smelt so bad every one ran out and i was stuck there with runy shit goning down my led that sucked really bad now i have a nick name Queen shit herself
I am a very meticulous and shy pooper whilst pooing in public. The conditions have to be just right. I can only go in the nice roomy handicap stalls. I'm A hoverer but am afraid of water rebounding up me arse so I drop balls of rolled up tp in the pot to act as a "buffer". I take a length of tp, ball up on end and cram it in the gaping crack at the top of the door and let the other end fall to drape me from passerbys.
Thought this web site might be of interest to you and your readers:
Well, I was at a friend's house for a party and really had to go. I ran to the bathroom, and to my dismay, it was HORRENDOUSLY DISGUSTINGLY CLOGGED. It was like a body-byproduct parfait. On the bottom (I guess) was vomit, then poop, then vomit, then poop... I mean, it hadn't been flushed for the whole weekend of partying. I was really desperate to unload through the backdoors (so to speak) that I went in the tub, got splattered, and forgot, Two days later, someone in the bathroom yelled something along the lines of "HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE **** IS THIS ******* THING DOING THERE?" I screamed, it all coming back to me. I got booted out, me landing right on top of a dog turd. Perfect.
Dave hav u got msn messenger?If so come online sumtime n well chat.My email is mattykas18@hotmail.com. By the way u r a godof poop to me.Come online sumtime.l8er[i.p.emthup.gif]
When I was a little kid from about 3-6 years old I was constipated.... NO I MEAN REEEEELY CONSTIPATED! I was so constipated it would take me 2 and a half hours to drop a single loaf. I could literally NO EXAGERATION hold it in for 9 days flat... on a regular basis. My mom would come and read me stories and urge me on while I pinched the dooker. Nowa days i can hold it in as long as i need too, i am proud to say at 14 I can clog any toilet with a single go. I can poop bigger than you can
HAHAHAHA!
I was 11 years old when this happened. While the teacher was discussing the new lesson, I felt like pooping and I asked the teacher if I can go to the bathroom because I almost couldn't take it anymore and the teacher didn't let me go. First, I farted out loud and it came with a huge amount of poop which went in to my underwear. Then when many classmates knew about it they pointed and laughed at me. And the teacher pulled me out of the whole class. Called my parents up and let them bring a new underwear for me. Then when my parents came they handed my new underwear to the teacher, and the teacher gave it to me and told me to go to the school clinic to borrow pants, and go to the bathroom and change. Then after I changed I came back to class.
gotta review for you [14] in Lollipop
"Corrupting the youth of America, one sucker at a time"
okay um this may sound strange but recently a kinky minded friend of mine and me got into an argument; she insists that if you bake crap before consuming it it won't make you sick where as raw contains enough bacteria and viruses to make you very ill. I'm wondering if any of you here know the truth of the matter. Oh and she bet me 20 bucks that there was at least one person on here with a recepie for home cooked crap. Please get back to me and let me know.
I was at this party with alot of people there and i was drinking so much and this guy had me drink a half bottle fo JD... and i was like wow i have to puck so i puck in this guys tub and then we were getting ready to leave and i got in my friends car and befor we took off i had to puck again i sat there on my knees for awhile and they were like whats wrong and i said i think i just shit my pants!!!!
Why is your poop tapered at the end??? .........so your butthole doesn't slam shut!!
Sincerely yours,
food/beverage dye is not the only thing to blame for poo turning green. if food passes thru the intestines quicker than usual, not all the stuff gets processed the way it should, and larger amts. of stomach goo (acids, bile, etc.) remain in your stuff, and makes it green-ish. but, a more saturated green is, mostly likely, caused by purple koolaid.
Hello,
I can pay you USD 1000 for poopreport.com
Best Regards,
Parcon LLC
why did u make such a stupid websie it makes me go like
this:[flaminghead-runner] [flaminghead-runner] [flaminghead-runner]
[flaminghead-runner] [greenface] [greenface] [greenface] [greenface]
[greenface] [hair-fire] [hair-fire] [hair-fire] [hair-fire] [raspberry]
[raspberry] [raspberry] [raspberry] [raspberry] [raspberry] [raspberry]
[raspberry] [raspberry] [raspberry] [thought-ahh] [thought-ahh]
[thought-whoa] [thought-whoa] [thought-ouch] [thought-ouch]
[thought-ouch] [thought-ahh] [thought-whoa] [thought-whoa]
[angry-punctuation] [thought-bam] [thought-bam] [thought-bam]
[thought-what] [thought-pow] [thought-geek] [smile] cuz ur web is
soooooooooooooooooooo dumb!
try throwing poop on a wall and pushing someone in to it.
one time when i was little i pulled down my pantaloons and a 10 foot brown 'snake' came out and fell on the floor! Pass the pazooka aunt jamima!
Alright, so this has happened to me several times, and is going on currently. Last week when I attempted to poop, I couldn't finish. What I mean is, no matter how long I waited or how hard I pushed it wouldn't come all the way out. It only went part way, and stuck. It spread and so all across and around my anus are the pieces. They are dried now, but obviously give off a very bad odor. When this has happened before, it usually passes in 3-6 days, from either coming off each time I poop again, or falling piece by piece throughout those following days. It's been a week since this happened, and the ever since then when I have pooped, its done the same thing. I can clean off the major pieces that stick, but there is still alot there. I am hoping it will pass again as always, but how I can avoid this problem from now on. It makes a nuisance going to school, because I have to do my best to mask the smell, and avoid any possible confrontation on the such smell. I cannot just clean it off because of its consistency and how its stuck on there, and I hate it. I truly feel alone in this problem, and I am very embarrassed/worried about this going on. Any and all help or advice would be very appreciated Poonurse.
I love when my boyfriend gives me the hot carl, man o man i love poo!!!
Hey,
Just found your site while "trolling" the web - (perhaps I should say "trawling", heh heh).
Great site. I love it. I want in on the next poetry contest. Hope it won't be limited to four lines.
Now, I've got the WORST shit story ever. It makes "binge and purge" sound like a fairy tale. The worst part is - the agony is true. At least this guy could pull over and shit. You just don't do that on the skyway in mid-chicago in broad daylight. If you're taking submissions - I'll gladly write it out and send it. I sent it to another site a couple of years ago and those assholes not only never replied - they never printed it. I suppose it was a little to severe for them.
- Grandpoohbah
eat shit muther fucker. you are a little shit eating asshole u can comeover and eat the shit out of my ass
any interest in a link exchange? my site seems right up your alley:
http://365dumps.blogspot.com [31]
My friend just told me a story that puts most of these to shame. How can I get you to post it if I tell it?
I climbed Mt Fuji in Japan a few years ago and when I got to the top I had to take a dump really bad so I went into this dark wooden shack that was the ONLY place available. It was very dark in there and the toilets were just holes in the wooden floor, the floor was squeaking under me as it was not built for a 240 lb person just small Japanese people. I heard a humming sound and I discovered that the humming was coming from all the flies that were down there. There was an 8-10 foot drop from the edge of the hole to where your shit and paper landed, and it looked like many years worth of shit was down there. The smell in there was the worse I have ever dealt with. I tried to hold my breath but that only made it worse as I inhaled deeper when the time came. I wondered if anyone had ever fallen down the 8-10 foot drop, God help them if they did.
George Carlin: "Farts are funny, farts are fun. Farts are shit without all the mess!"
Well said George.
Darrell
my friend matt stinks of poop all the time.even when hes just got out of the shower.I sprayed him with deodarent but he still smelt like a dogs bum.Maybe he isnt wiping properly please give me advise poo nurse!!!!!!
Forrest Shitaker
Let me just say,,,,I ENJOY time on the crapper...outhouse,public,
private, home field is best, of course...reading...on the
phone.......what could be better???
this happened to me when I went on a school camp to lake keepit NSW australia it is probably the most horrible experience I've ever had. anyway we'd been there for about 3 days eating the crapola food and swimming in the freezing and murky water when the first explosive projectile vomit forced itself from my stomach all over the wall of the bathroom stall,I had to throw up about twice every 10 minutes and soon my wrestless agony turned into a delirious sleep from which every so often I would wake up to dry spew into the bucket next to my bed while doing so I would lose control of my bowels plastering my undies with a sloppy dioreah mess.
I feel so sorry for my cabin mates who had to put up with this, anyway the decision was made to get me to a hospital which was 2 friggin hours away, fortunately for all parties concerned the explosoions of butt lava had subsided by then alas the vomiting hadn't which left us by the end of the ar trip with a bucket full of vivid yellow bile which the teacher decided to had to the rather baffled nurse for evaluation. I'll remember the poor nurses horrified face for all my years, maybe I contracted the mysterious bug from the bottle of juice which had been left under my bed for the whole trip which I subsequently drank (gross I know)
well i am 11 and i have family in italy . i was expecting them to be a big close italian family that is defanitly wat i got and more!!!!!
in italy they dont have shower curtains well i was taking a shower and i THOUGHT i had locked the door . well i found out i didn't wen my aunt comes in and takes a shit man it stunk i heard it squeeze out of her ass. i was gonna vomit then to top it all off, she starts moaning.i dont care how much her stomach hurt, come on dont torment me at such a young age!!!! then wen she was done ,she didn't wash her hands!!!
eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww! i mean first of all i am takin a shower with out a shower curtain. already weird enough. rite after i left the shower my aunt comes up and fukin hugs me! i still dont no if she ever washed her hands but after that i defenitly got in trouble for takin another shower. i would just like to say the way that crap smelled it probably still smells now.....three months lata
TO: Dave [1]
FROM: yuria
DATE: 4.30.02004
SUBJECT: picture film "P"
==============================
TO: Dave [2]
FROM: Thomas
DATE: 5.13.02004
SUBJECT: mail bag
==============================
TO: Dave [3]
FROM: Thomas
DATE: 5.13.02004
SUBJECT: academic
==============================
TO: Dave [4]
FROM: Thomas
DATE: 5.13.02004
SUBJECT: techniques
==============================
Just add 1 pound of petroleum Jelly to the office coffee pot when no ones looking and as they sip they will begin to slip and try to make it to the restroom,where the rest of the office staff is sitting down on the throne!.
TO: Dave [5]
FROM: lindsey
DATE: 5.2.02004
SUBJECT: poop story
==============================
TO: Dave [6]
FROM: Edmund J Shacklemire
DATE: 5.3.02004
SUBJECT: techniques
==============================
TO: Dave [7]
FROM: Doug
DATE: 4.30.02004
SUBJECT: fun with poop
==============================
http://www.turdbirdexpress.com/ [8]
TO: Dave [9]
FROM: St. Lupin
DATE: 4.28.02004
SUBJECT: poop story
==============================
TO: Dave [10]
FROM: matthew kasic
DATE: 5.3.02004
SUBJECT: Hav u got messenger?
==============================
TO: Dave [11]
FROM: clogged
DATE: 5.5.02004
SUBJECT: poop story
==============================
TO: Dave [12]
FROM: secret
DATE: 5.6.02004
SUBJECT: poop story
==============================
TO: Dave [13]
FROM: Lollipop Magazine
DATE: 5.7.02004
SUBJECT: gotta review for you
==============================
http://www.lollipop.com [15]
TO: Dave [16]
FROM: Undigested Sewage
DATE: 5.7.02004
SUBJECT: techniques
==============================
TO: Dave [17]
FROM: first timer
DATE: 5.7.02004
SUBJECT: poop story
==============================
TO: Dave [18]
FROM: Erin Cruise
DATE: 5.11.02004
SUBJECT: You've probably heard this one...
==============================
Erin Cruise
TO: Dave [19]
FROM: Jessica Perry
DATE: 5.13.02004
SUBJECT: green poo
==============================
TO: Dave [20]
FROM: Parson LLC
DATE: 5.17.02004
SUBJECT: poopreport.com
==============================
Please reply if you are interested.
TO: Dave [21]
FROM: Hairy Pooter [22]
DATE: 5.3.02004
SUBJECT: pics
==============================
TO: Dave [23]
FROM: Bluesky1762
DATE: 5.17.02004
SUBJECT: poop
==============================
TO: Dave [24]
FROM: poopycah420
DATE: 5.21.02004
SUBJECT: fun with poop
==============================
TO: Dave [25]
FROM: steve
DATE: 5.23.02004
SUBJECT: poop story
==============================
TO: Dave [26]
FROM: Cam
DATE: 5.19.02004
SUBJECT: ask poonurse
==============================
TO: Dave [27]
FROM: sara
DATE: 5.26.02004
SUBJECT: academic
==============================
TO: Dave [28]
FROM: Grandpoohbah
DATE: 5.26.02004
SUBJECT: poop story, comments
==============================
TO: Dave [29]
FROM: JAZZYDAWG123
DATE: 5.26.02004
SUBJECT: ass
==============================
TO: Dave [30]
FROM: Dan
DATE: 5.25.02004
SUBJECT: poop and more
==============================
TO: Dave [32]
FROM: Scott Carlson
DATE: 5.28.02004
SUBJECT: Poop storie entry
==============================
TO: Dave [33]
FROM: patrick
DATE: 5.24.02004
SUBJECT: poop story
==============================
TO: Dave [34]
FROM: Mr. and Mrs. Poe
DATE: 5.18.02004
SUBJECT: Good Poop/Fart quote
==============================
TO: Dave [35]
FROM: andy
DATE: 5.30.02004
SUBJECT: ask poonurse
==============================
TO: Dave [36]
FROM: KEN TAYLOR
DATE: 5.29.02004
SUBJECT: crap names
==============================
Dung Canidate
Elvis Messley
Fartin Lawrence
TO: Dave [37]
FROM: Warpclown
DATE: 5.30.02004
SUBJECT: the worst..........
==============================
Ok,.....I had some roids taken out or off....whatever......I was told
"when the tissue comes out it will be messy....." So for a week, I soak
and painfully sweat out my "time"...go back to work like a good cowboy
and after warning the guy I am working with, that my "problem might not
be solved yet" go to a location ........an inner city
school...........after completing the event we are there for
................
I GOTTA GO....like never before.......I tell him "my worst fears are
realised..." and run for the nearest bathroom.................Just make
it in and due to speed and skill avoid shitting myself..........the room
however looks like a murder has happened in there....................I
look for paper..........the only roll is chained to the wall and pissed
on........fortunately there is paper towel.....which I use in great
quantity
and cram in the now clogged toilet..........I clean up and with my
comrade driving, reluctantly conclude, that my day is over.....we are
driving by a hospital (in the city with the most advanced medical care in
the world)
and I GOTTA GO!!!!! again!!! they said it would be a surprise....I run
into the emergency room desk and ask for a
bathroom.....................and they nastily said ...."over there". I
run in thru a whole room of people waiting for emergency help..... and
slam the door....rip clothes off like I'm 16 and on a prom
date................KABAMMMMMMMMMM again.......relived.....NO
PAPER!!!!!!!paper towels again.....
WHATEVER!!!! another murder scene..............pack it up, pack it in
,.......
I get home and it happens again.........Doc says "no problem....this is
what we were waiting for......."
I save some "roid tissue" in a jar of alcohol for a favorite family
member........................
The aftermath is worse than the surgery....................be
warned.....................
TO: Dave [38]
FROM: geneveive spillsbury
DATE: 5.30.02004
SUBJECT: the poop saga
==============================
TO: Dave [39]
FROM: ITaLiAnBaMbInAa
DATE: 5.28.02004
SUBJECT: the big fat italian shit
==============================