Nevertheless, there I was, clenching my butt cheeks, trying to ignore that feeling until it got so bad that I was having hot and cold sweats. I finally said, "Damn it!" and went to the ladies' room, praying that no one would come in.
The ladies' room on my floor has three stalls in it: two regular and one handicapped. I usually try to pick the one next to the handicapped stall so that I'm not closest to the door. It usually takes me a few minutes before I can even begin to drop a load because I'm so paranoid about someone walking in. I am even listening for footsteps and all of the doors from the different offices opening. When I do start dropping the kids off, I am polite and I do the courtesy flush. (Well, I say it's being polite, but what I'm really doing is trying to cut back on the smell just in case someone happens to walk in.) I'm also hoping that no one looks down and sees my shoes, and then goes back and tells everyone in that office that I was taking a shit.
Yes, I know that I need to stop being so paranoid and own up to my shitting!
So I went to my favorite stall and everything went smoothly. No one came in! I felt better when I was done. Going back to my office, I was so pleased that everything had gone so well that I immediately had an idea for a song. I absolutely love Katy Perry's song I Kissed A Girl, so I changed up the lyrics a little bit and, to celebrate my success, sent my husband the chorus for I Pooped At Work. It goes like this:
I pooped at work and I liked it
The smell of my turds fantastic
I pooped at work just to try it
I hope my workmates don't mind it
It felt so wrong, it felt so right
Don't mean I'll have cramps tonight
I pooped at work and I liked it
I liked it
My husband has since shared this with my family and friends. I thought I would share it with you guys as well.