When I was a kid I had a friend named John Hauptfleisch. He was pretty cool, but this kid down the street named Eric would always come over to his house and hang out. We all didn't like Eric 'cause he spit on people and was a real pansy. He was only allowed to watch Disney movies, and John and I only watched horror movies. One time we watched one anyway, and Eric ran home crying and we got in trouble.

One day John and I were making this huge pile of leaves to jump in. Eric came over and wanted to jump in the leaves too. We all jumped in the leaves until it was time for lunch. Eric went home for lunch. While he was gone John and I collected a whole bunch of fresh dog poop from John's black lab, Lilly. Lilly was really big for a lab, and all she ate was old apples and garbage she found lying around. She ate dog food too, but mostly she ate garbage. One time we found a dead skunk and gave it to her and she ate that too. Her poop was full of little chunks and grass and apple seeds and it smelled really bad. We piled up all of the poop and then put a big pile of leaves on top of it. When Eric got back from lunch, we told him that he could jump in the leaves first, since he had been gone so long.

He seemed pleased by the honor. He walked away about ten feet and got into that position that track runners get into before the race. He ran really fast and leapt right at the pile. He hit at an angle and ended up sliding on his chest right through all of Lilly's slimy crap. He thought it was rotten apples at first and just started scooping it off his shirt. Then he smelled it and threw up all over himself. John and I laughed and laughed. Eric tried to take his shirt off and got some on his face and started retching and gagging. He ran home retching and crying to his mom. His Mom was REALLY mad at us but we just said that we had no idea that there was dog poop under the leaves. It was one of the best pranks I ever did.
--Areth [1]