i chose the first option. for the most part, i'm not on the toilet long enough to get bored.
_______
i love poop.

Well I voted other because being on the toilet for me is a long, drawn out affair. When I was a kid, if I didn't have a book to read, I would start reading the labels on everything in the bathroom. Now that I have my dingleberry, if I'm at home I can listen to music and read poop report or some other website while I'm pooping, andif I'm at work, I'll usually read poop report while taking care of business.

I have stacks of house plan books on the back of my toilet. I always flip through them when I'm making tootsie rolls.

_______
Blowing you chocolate kisses from my butt...

I like to read catalogues, magazines, and other mail. I love junk mail!

The same as always - I sit there and contemplate how best to achieve world domination.

Same as always - I sit there and contemplate how best to achieve swirled elimination.

It used to be a book, but since I found that sitting on the crapper too long and conciously/unconsiously straining makes my 'roid real mad, I do as short an unload as possible.

I almost always have to have a book on the loo. Sometimes I don't actually read it, just having a book in my hands is enough. It's almost become a necessary prop.

In public toilets it's different as I don't always have reading matter with me but on those occasions I usually find that I think about things quite deeply. I suppose that my mind has to be at least partially occupied with something else for me to properly enjoy a good bowel movement. Considering how obsessed with shit and shitting I am, I find it quite odd that I don't concentrate solely on the joy of delivering the brown baby. I think it must be because when I'm mentally occupied I'm more relaxed and I can drop my fudge with it finishing off comfortably and neatly, while if I concentrate solely on the job I tend to crimp it off too early, my arsehole takes ages to shut, and I end up with a million wiper.

I'm usually grooming my ass wipe, the fucker sheds a lot, and the claws need to be constantly trimmed.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

I've noticed that pooping itself can be something of an art form for the fellas. Something to look forward to, something to ponder over, something to brag about or something to be enjoyed.

I just want to get it over with. Somethimes I look in the bowl and think "Fuck. No wonder that one hurt." or "Jesus. That was like pooing hair mousse." That's about all the entertainment I get out of a trip to el bano.

Haha. Well poopsie at you least you can figure out why yours hurt so bad. On the rare ocassions when I do have solid shit I'll rock back and forth and sing my songs that are playing and try not to think about the pain, only to stand up and look in the bowl to discover that 15 agonizing minutes were wasted on two tiny rabbit turds. It's bullshit. And I have to be doing something when I poop or I get bored. It also takes my mind of the pain. I can be doubled over in pain with liquid shit about to pour out of my ass and I'll have to find my blackberry before I hit the toilet.

Oh yeah Poopsie, it's that alright. Shitting is the greatest thing in the world for many of my species. It certainly is for me. In fact if I had to choose between never shitting again or never having sex again, I'd choose the latter.

Yet, I need to multi-task in order to get the most out of it and obtain the most enjoyment. Bloody odd business, pooing, y'know.

I'd say "whacking off," but I consider this not entertainment but health care. Ever since the study reporting that daily masturbation cuts the risk of prostrate cancer, I’ve been trying to be more diligent about it. And I could say “dealing myself practice poker hands,” but this is to improve my winnings at the weekly poker game. So I use my toilet time wisely. As far as entertainment goes, you can’t really do better than a crap.

A multi-tasking bathroom visit is known as an ASWAD. A Slash Wank And Dump.

Knocking one out in the loo is a fine thing that I really haven't done for a bloody long time, so thanks for the reminder Logjam. Now if you'll excuse me for a moment...

I like to read Popular Mechanics while shitting. If I take the time to shut the door I might get 2 whole sentences read before someone comes to the door and says,"Mom, whatcha doin in there?"
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Hey Mrs Mad Crapper: It sounds like your kids at least stop at the door. Mine just walk right in, hubby included, start yakking away then complain about the smell. I just tell them if they,d wait til I come out they wouldn,t have to smell it. Don't feel a bit sorry for them. The raunchier the stench the better.

Poopreport via phatphone. Sometimes I play bejeweled, it all depends what entertainment Im in the mood for.

Enjoying a nice poop is entertainment in itself! Let's take a moment to examine this theory and all the asspects involved. On the way to the can are there some delightfully malodorous precursor farts? A little warm-up with gaseous ass product is nice to prepare. Drop trousers and have a seat, how cool is the seat this morning/afternoon/evening? Is the poop urgently pressing to come out or is a little rectal squeezing needed to get things going? When the poop begins to emerge, is it liquid, semisolid, softly solid, hard as a rock? If solid, is the distal end larger in diameter (club-shaped poop) that is hard to pass without that feeling of ripping? Is it one piece or several? What sounds are made by the poop exiting the anus? What sounds are made on water contact and how much internal pressure is revealed? Is the transfer a slow and agonizing process or does it fly right out? Any splatter expected? After coming out, is there any more left in there that needs to be pushed out?

Now that the kids are in the pool, it's time to complete the paperwork. Is this one a 'one swipe and go' or is it a dense, greasy, dry poop that takes a lot of wiping? How much paper should I use to prevent a 'breakthrough' and poopy hands? After wiping, how does your ass feel? Relieved or beat up and used?

So you see that all the fun asspects of the poop can be quite involved and entertaining. I wouldn't want any distractions while I am enjoying my end products and their evacuations. Happy Crapping!
----Captain Craptastic!!!

I wish I could never shit again. I really wish there was a pill to end elimination forever. Or maybe they'll invent another clever way to use Botox and freeze my colon so it atrophies. Next to vomiting, I find shitting the least enjoyable bodily function. But, boy is it funny.

I can't imagine tossing it on the toilet. I'd have to diddle and I'd be afraid my hand would get poop on it. If you finish the pulling, do you then shoot a cup of chowder all over the bathroom walls? Jackson Pollack in his gizz period.

Well, depending on how you double-click your mouse Poopsie, you shouldn't get poop on your hands while doing so, but different strokes for different folks, as they say.

If I'm taking Captain Picard to warp speed while piloting the porcelain shuttlecraft, when he gets motion-sickness, I can usually pre-prepare tissues for him to vomit into.

How fitting you mentioned captain picard scumbag. Back a few years ago,the man who plays captain picard was on saturday night live and one of the skits he did, he was a cake decorator who only made cakes of people on the toilet. I need to see if I can find that clip an do a write up on it.

I used to read porn while on the shitter, but after an incident when "The Crippler" got too riled up and I got stuck, I switched to more esoteric reading. I just thank God for the fire departments Jaws of Life._______
Here I sit, my cheeks a flexin' , trying to give birth to another Texan!!

I'm not much of a multi-tasker and prefer to only poop or pee while sitting on the can. Never once have I felt remotely randy as I cranked out a power dump or peed for the third time in an hour. The process of shitting must stimulate a man's prostate and make him all sorts of horny. Or maybe the idea of producing something so magnificant gives a man a hard on filled with pride.

Well, at least you can call it Captain Picard and not that kling-on monstrosity.

I take my dump early in the day and usually take a cup of tea with me. Usually earl gray but on occasion an orange pekoe.
_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Speaking of SNL, Leaky, have you ever seen "Dick In a Box"?

Funnily enough, it looks a bit like Worf if viewed from the underside. So I'm told.

Incidentally, and sorry to go so off topic, but if you ever have an opportunity to watch Star Trek TNG dubbed into German, do so. It's hilarious, especially when they say 'Worf'.

To get back on track, I'm not sure whether it's as biological as stimulation of the prostate. It's not as of the process of crapping (which is immeasurably satisfying admittedly) is erotic and we get a semi-on just by having it stroke our inner fun-button as it glides by. The fact is, a fellow sits down with nothing better to do after a dump, and he has his naked genitals in front of him. When it's there, a chap can't help but give it a little stroke or scratch, and when that happens it's a case of "Hmmm... well, it's already out... it'd be a shame to waste it..."

The Germans really bite into those W's, huh? Vorf!

It's probably better to give yourself a tug than to come out of the bathroom with your dick "al dente" and propose sex to your spouse or ladyfriend.

"C'mere baby, I just crapped a crap to rival all craps. Breathe deep, honey. Now let's fuck!"

Well, when I come out of the bathroom these days it's more like "Lisa! Where's my fucking Anusol?" than "Hey babe... mmmm... wanna get busy?". Having my farmers burning my ring like a hot hash-rock on nylon does tend to dampen my post-poo ardour somewhat.

Although to be honest, I'm at the wrong end of my thirties so I'm always relieved and grateful to discover that the old fella still works at all.

Now that's romance.

"Lisa, come here, love, and dab some Anusol on my balloon knot. And while you're at it, will you kindly hum "Ring of Fire" by The Pixies?"

"Uh.. it's not you baby...it's just that Vorf doesn't speak kling-on like he used to and I got some Anusol on my nutsack."

Well, it was our 8-month anniversary on Friday, so 'roid massage is still undertaken with love and affection.

I actually got her to scratch my itchy butt crack in bed last night because I couldn't be bothered to do it myself.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Do you ask her to inspect your works of art before you flush too?

I can only hope that you are gentleman enough to return the favors and apply her itchy vag cream at night and make sure her douche nozzle is inserted properly before squeezing.

You're fucking gross. Full stop.

Whoa. Told off by Chief's mistress. Have you studied on the mountaintop, yet, ES?
_______
The Original Grasshopper

Poopsy, I'm wondering how you have such uncanny insight into my home life...

But that's love, I guess!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to log off. I need to go and get her some cranberry juice for her cystitis.

Well, Leandra, I believe that Cumsucker is actually off to chant 'Om Namah Shivaya' before having yet another religious experience whist sitting on his kingly throne.

Something tells me he is far too selfish to get cranberry juice or properly postion douches. He's too busy yelling to get his flaming asshole patted dry and plotting how to turn this shit into his next incredibly well written poop report. It's all about him.

You should gift him a twee little bell to ring everytime his asshole puckers or he requires service.

Uhm, kay. All I know is he got pwned. ;D

_______
The Original Grasshopper

Well damn, ya'll are just funny as fuck. Poopsicle, why you bein so mean to scumbag? He's just british, si he comes off as a cocky lil shit. It's not really his fault. Back to poop, I have never been able to jack off while shitting. I end up having to put the shit on hold and just masturbate. Then I'll wash my hands and finish the shit. It's rather complicating.

You know what I realized? i haven't made any relavant input into my own poll. And it's the first poll I've ever submitted!

Right now, I'm on my way to the bathroom with my laptop and my MP3 player, while a book waits for me in there. So i can't really vote.
_______
The Original Grasshopper

Well there ya go. Just vote for one, then log out and vote as an AC for the other, then delete your cookies and do it again.

...but that's cheating.
_______
The Original Grasshopper

For me it's a magazine or the morning newspaper. I'm not enough of an intellectual to read a book.

The act itself, executed without complication or incident, is enough for me. Usually I'm not in there long enough to need entertainment; I typically lay down even my bulkiest efforts in a timeframe that many of my friends find astounding. I wonder if it was because my mommy's potty training technique was so hysterical and unpleasant. One of my best friends says that his mommy made potty time into a sort of play-date complete with toys and candy, and to this day that bastard will sit on the crapper for a MINIMUM of 30-45 minutes at a time.

Oh, please don't sit there on the throne and read - my doctor says that gives you hemhorroids!

_______
Piece Out!
Crapola

Crapola, I spend at least 30 minutes reading on the shitter every day and have yet to get even a single 'roid.

I'm moving around the rest of the day. Maybe that counteracts it.

I always read, everywhere I go, but I don't sit there. Mebbe it's because I read so fast I don't need to sit there.
_______
The Original Grasshopper

I read on the toilet but I don't have a problem with roids either. But I don't push and squeeze and what not. I just sit there. And when the turds are ready to make their exit, they just slide right on out.

I take my time reading on the john, but that's because it's my alone time. When that bathroom door is closed, it means stay out and leave me alone.

Im the only one who voted loptop, because I usually check out PR first when Im on the can.

No wonder, phats, I don`t think the rest of us have heard of loptopping....well, maybe Bilge has....or Logjam.

Loptopping? Sure. But the practice comes with considerable risks, and should only be attempted by the already circumcised.

I took a bronze medal in loptopping at the Special Olympics.

The bruises and scabs cleared up in a few weeks.

_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

I think about ways to overthrow the government.

CEP, weren't you employeed by the governemnet? Shouldn't you be proud of your government? Or is the latest turnover of elected officials what made you retired in the first place? I'm not sure but I think the statue of "The Thinker" was actually supposed to be on a toilet but someone thought it tasteless and removed the toilet part. That seems to be the best thing to do with your spare time on the john.

Loptopping is the sport of champions. If you really push yourself Bilgepump, you could take the gold next time around. A word of caution, if you're going to be hanging out with a bunch of mongoloids, be sure to don protective eyewear.

Oh! And bring your camera. I want photos of this event.

loptop.

Looking at the latest Lionel Train Catalog.

I stand and look out the dunny window. Our red puppy dog "Commie" is usually up to some sort of mischief, and its kinda funny if he happens to be curling one off in the back yard at the same time as me.
We used to have a chihuahua called Sid Vicious, and when he was backing 'em out, his tail used to go up and down in time with the back-hunching, and it looked like a pump handle, so it looked like he really was 'pumping 'em out'.
_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

LBK,
I think we are poop twins. In my opinion the best reason for having a dingleberry is NOT the email capabilities (actually, I often find that the worst part), but rather that I can read PR whenever I sit on the toilet.
It doesn't matter if it is for 30 seconds or 45 minutes, I can always squeez in a story while squeezing out a log.
Actually, I noticed recently that the color scheme of PR has changed on my dingleberry. Now I have 3 brown stripes vertically dripping down the page. It's a regular two-tone shit ticket.

_______
Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Logjam! Whacking off, in a post Lorena Bobbitt world brings on some disturbing mental images. So please, choke your chicken, slap your mule, wrestle with your one eyed snake with a turtle neck sweater, but never whack off.

Play with his lap-pinkie...um...can't think of any others...
_______
The Original Grasshopper

Goodness Leandra... There are hundreds! I just thought I had better stop at 3.

I'm wired, I could post a billion of them now....but I won't.
_______
The Original Grasshopper

Good. If you did and got a billion post points, I'd get my panties in a bunch and cry to the moderators.

Leandra. Ever heard of pocket pool? As to your recommendation, Squat, I have known that word forever, and never have made that connection, or, um, disconnection. But I certainly would not let anything those idiot Bobbit's did influence me. I regret your even reminding me of them. From what I could tell, he deserved no more than half a penis, and had she been my wife I would have preferred her swift dispatch to her rolling over and kissing me.

Or I could, just to see that happen...
_______
The Original Grasshopper

I hate you, LJ. AD pwned me in the forums with a pocket pool machine.
_______
The Original Grasshopper

I almost always read on the toilet - it doesn't even have to be literature; if I have some serious shitting to do and don't have time to be picky I'll just grab whatever's nearest me, even if it's my Latin Grammar or something.

I love reading on the toilet, no clue why. Even if it's a short little poo that only takes a couple of minutes to pass I'll stay on the toilet reading, sometimes for a half-hour or more.

TS: I think that may be what Crapola was talking about when he/she said not to sit on the toilet for an extended amount of time...
_______
The Original Grasshopper

dumpage sliding out on its own is its own joy. So, what used to be two minutes of grunting and sweating is now about three minutes of inner calm and bliss.
_______
My special need's student crapped in your honor roll student's backpack.

Here's another thing to ponder while squeezing out your log: I wonder what celebrities are doing this very same thing right now?

Elvis isn't.
_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

Elvis didn't while he was alive, from what I understand.

From what I understand, what was inside him when he died was something akin to faeces made from plaster. There's no way that block of cement could be passed and had he not had his heart attack, he would have been in hospital for another reason a few days later, because it would have needed surgical removal. We're talking weeks and weeks without a poo. Scary thought.

As for whose out there in glitterland having a dump, well I have in mind Sir Michael Caine with his trousers round his ankles, drinking tea while perusing a copy of The Stage, and leaving one fucking almighty stink, including skids in the bowl.

At school, prior to this past week, I would take my laptop in during study hall when I would sign out and take my daily shit. I was in stall number 17 on the 4th floor on Tuesday, had shit for half the bowl, peed a little, and was checking my e-mail when the security matron assigned to that floor looked in on me for apparently the 3rd time and ordered me out for violating some 5-minute rule.

I had a dress on so I don't feel my privacy was violated too much, but I disagree with the 5-minute rule and the fact that I served a Saturday school (4-hour Saturday morning detention) for doing an "unsanitary" thing like using my school-issued computer.

Saturday morning I held my daily shit from about 10 a.m. until Noon. They gave us a 10-minute break but I didn't want to push it, if you know what I mean. What hurts me more is that Mom has taken the school's side. That really sucks. Oh, at noon on Saturday I shit at the BP c-store across from the school. I don't think I stayed too much longer than 5 minutes.

Mandy, if I were you, I would have told the security matron to fuck off.

Some things, you can't put a time limit on.

I often use my laptop whilst on the shitter. Sometimes, I'll get on poop report, but most of the time, I listen to iTunes.

_______
Did you take a dump today?

Sometimes I read push slowey if no ones else in the household needs to use it

123, just a piece of advice: you see the words that are already in the box? Yeah, you want to start typing your comment before them, otherwise, you're going to be hanging out under there, and nobody else does, and everyone'll be accused of being cliquey and posting comments the right way....
_______
The Original Grasshopper

I like to roll up a pice of toilet paper, and stick it up ny nose to make me sneeze, makes that last bit come out faster :)

_______

Mandy, you should have mentioned to the security twat that you were experiencing trouble birthing this brown baby because it was a breach and could certainly use her help in massaging the baby into the appropriate position.

And then, at Saturday detention, there's only one thing to do with 4 hours: fart prodigiously. When the proctor complains, simply inform them that you think that you have food poisoning and can't help yourself. In order to help the process along, load up on boiled cabbage and budweiser the night before. (If you're under 21, skip the budweiser.)
_______
My special need's student crapped in your honor roll student's backpack.

I don't get it, Itchy. Are you trying to wipe your ass through your nose?
_______
My special need's student crapped in your honor roll student's backpack.

Like Mandy, I've had the security matron look in on me and on two occasions, actually talk to me. What I learned is that she likes to see movement in the stall, toilet paper in my hand ready to wipe, hear pee hitting the water, etc. I've heard her get on students who are just sitting there drinking pop or coffee, or in one case where she told the girl it was "bad etiquette" to be sitting on working on her laptop. The explanation that I recall hearing is that some students "stall" in getting back to class and laptops and Ipods only lengthen the sit to shit or pee.

Entertainment of choice: hand-held video games. Either iPhone or DS.

On rare occasions I take something along with me to the toilet: a book to read, a paper to grade, or the like. Maybe, while waiting for my bowels to get fully ready, I'll get a half page read, or make a little mark on the paper I'm grading. But once the poop is at the bomb bay, I concentrate fully on that. If I have a hand mirror handy, I may watch myself poop; otherwise, I just concentrate on the act. No real progress on whatever else I brought to do.

It's 43 days and counting for me before I graduate and I can't get out of my school fast enough. Unlike Mandy, I don't wear dresses so my jeans and thong are down when the security guard looks in on me. I've had my music on and she's told me to take it off and once--like two months ago--stood there peering in on me while I wrapped it up and put it in my purse. It took like 20 or 25 seconds and when I got done, I invited her in so she could see part of my crap in the bowl. She didn't like that and asked for my student ID card. Later I got called in by my the vice principal and was given an "attitude check" warning. I didn't get any time to serve but a carbon copy of it was sent home. Mom high-fived me and said 30 years ago when she was in high school she doesn't remember using the bathrooms once. Unfortunately I will for another 40-some days.

I'm with Leaky Bowel King on the bottle labels. Now I am older I take in cookery books to see what I am gonna make poo with next.

Whats up with these potty police? I mean they are peeking in the stalls to make sure your what your doing? You guys should start a class action lawsuit sexual harrasment or invasion of privacy and that shit will stop real quick. I mean your there taking a shit and you got some asshole whos being paid by the school standing there to babysit you outside your door and get all up in your business if they dont hear the plops fast enough. And if you say something about it they dicipline you? Thats a big WTF, thats BULLSHIT! If you want to listen to music or read while your pinching one off ITS YOUR PRIVACY AND RIGHT TO DO SO!! I can see if your smoking or starting fires or something they can confront you. WTF i am outraged. Cmon people stand up for this. Soon they will be putting cameras in the stalls and writing automatic tickets if your doing anything besides No.1 or No.2.

You tell them, phats! Would these automatic tickets be based on time or just the deed?

People would need to know if they could afford a chicken choking session and might have to practice to get their timing right.

I dunno its just more Big Brother, and I would'nt have stood for this if this was going on in my high school. Im suprised the students and the parents allow this to go on.

Maybe it will happen when my kids are in high school and some asshole school employee is peeping into my son or daughters stall while they are shittin and bitchin about them taking too long. Ill raise hell, and Im sure poop report will have my back.

I remember the admins were threatening to remove the stall doors to try and stop bathroom smokers. The PTO wouldnt allow it, and they just started busting people outside the bathroom when they walked out and wreaked of smoke.

When I was in high school we didn't have security guards or people that checked up on us in the bathroom. They really didn't care. If you weren't where you were supposed to be, you'd get caught and that would be the end of that. Of course, we didn't have school issued laptops either. So maybe the security depends on the prosperity of your school. My school was by no means poor, but we didn't have a lot of fancy stuff either.

My school's security when it comesto bathrooms and stuff is pretty much nonexistent...all you really have to do is show up at a class, get the b-room pass, then you can wander/leave the school as you please....
_______
The Original Grasshopper

Hmmm. I wish my school was like that. That'd been wonderful.

My high school had a resident cock-mooch headmistress named Strauss. She was always barging in the lavatories talking about "Girls, what class are you meant to be in right now?"

Fucking hell that woman had no shame. She'd bang right on the stall door even if you told her you were taking a dump in there and ask you if you were smoking marajuana.

Which of course we were. The amount of cigarettes and pot flushed away because of her endless patrols are impossible to calculate. I still hold a grudge. The way I see it, that cow owes me at least two packs of Newports and a quarter ounce of weed.

We have a huge window in the bathroom....I think the teachers go in there and smoke too....w/e it is they're smoking....maybe that's why they're so chillax with security....
_______
The Original Grasshopper

I wish my teachers smoked pot. Then it'd be like afroman said "I know how to pass triginomerty, sell dope to your teacher..." I used to hate using the bathroom in high school because it wasn't like you could take a book in there to read and I didn't have a crackberry to read and the only people I could text was one one of my many girlfriends at the time. And normally they were in class.

Sucks to be you! I still have a year and a half left of it!
_______
The Original Grasshopper

Kellie's problem can partially be solved by not dropping her jeans and thong all the way to the floor. My mom pointed this out to me like 5 years ago and it's worked well. My jeans and underwear are tucked in beneath my mid-thigh level as I sit and no teacher takes more than a second or two look in at me any more. However, before doing this in middle school I had a couple of perverted teachers who I didn't even know take 5 and 10 second stares at me through the door opening. One, I think she was a counselor or assistant principal, asked me if I was crapping or peeing? Like it's her business. Duh!

Mandy's post says she was told by the security guard that it was "unsanitary" for her to have her lap top out and be checking her e-mail. Like what??? I just learned in my business class last week about multi-tasking and not wasting time. The guard should come into the guys' bathroom and see all the graffiti, bent and hanging toilet paper containers, as well as the decorative coverings being ripped off the door panels. I think multi-tasking students using their lap tops while crapping are preparing well for the real world after graduation.

Derek, I couldn't agree more. Multi-tasking is very important for today's world. That's why I shit while reading the newspaper. Might as well put more information in my head while sending useless stuff out the other end.

Is Mandy's mom on crack or what? Taking the side of the school when the girl is disciplined for nothing more having her computer on her lap and checking her E-Mail while she is crapping. And apparently this is some "unsanitary" thing! Then there's Kellie, who like my daughter, takes her I-Pod everywhere she goes but has the good sense not to play it in the classroom, is watched for 20 or 25 seconds by an adult while she's in a vulnerable position of undress and even offers to stand so that adult can see the crap she's produced in the bowl .... Then there's Chaley who is questioned as if she was a criminal. Only the most fascist of the faculty or school administration would ask a child if they were taking a shit or peeing.

I learned first-hand the abuses of a parochial school in the 1970s (I was asked by a nun how many toilets we had at home, what time I had gotten up that morning, and how many opportunities I had neglected to move my bowels before I arrived at school that morning and found at 8:10 I needed a restroom pass before I burst out crying and slamming the classroom door.)

The answer was that I was much more interested in staying in my room and watching my then-idol David Cassidy debut his new record on one of the morning news shows. My mom called the head sister and got my three demerits restored.

I want my children to remain in public schools but I need to be assured some semblence of sanity on the part of the administration is going to be demonstrated. My oldest learned about the ACLU in his civics class. Why can't the schools get the message that students have rights, need privacy and some empathy--especially when their pants are down.

Well, firstly, are u allowed to swear on here 'coz I had the best sh*t today! Can anyone sing while on the bog, not me! Don't you have to strain too hard whilst pooping to bother about singing. Anyway, has any lads eva jacked off while pooin! Just wondering what it feels like coz I'm a girl, has any lasses eva masturbated whilst on the loo! Neva tried to be honest! Tell me how it goes if anyone decides to try it thn!

Happy pooing!

I call the chihuahuas, cats, or babies and then trap them in the bathroom and watch them try to escape.

_______
I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Always have my cell phone in hand, just in case it's photo worthy

Other. Poopreport on the Palm Treo or hugging my cat. My cat really likes to hug me while I am pooping. She really does hug.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

I dont do anything!

Then find something to do, AC.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

You're sitting, aren't you, AC? That's something. And breathing, don't forget that.
_______
The Original Grasshopper

And pooing. That's something is the most important "something" of all.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

But of course, SP, we can't forget that, otherwise, why would we be on the toilet in the first place?
_______
The Original Grasshopper

We could be on the toilet to pee. Brannie brushes her teeth on the toilet.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17