i haven't pooped my pants as an adult, but i think if i did, i would throw away the underwear. i don't like the idea of that much poop swirling around in my washing machine._______i love poop.
Having lived way back in the era of cloth diapers I still remember the task of sticking a diaper down in the commode and scrubbing the majority of the shit out before the diaper was suitable for the washing machine. I suppose you could give your underwear the same treatment. You should then wash your hands well before preparing any food....except maybe peanut butter sammies.
_______Eat chilies and feel the burn!!
I'd have my adoptive mommy clean them for me. She loves me.
I guess that depends on how badly I shat my pants. If it's just a big ol' skidmark, I'd probably wash them. If it was full out pants-shitting with a big log, I'd throw them out.
Well, if it happened in public(God forbid)I would trash the undies. If it happens at home, washie washie. No point in tossing them, just get most the poo in the toilet and onto the washer.
Pnutty, I always keep an 11 foot pole handy around the house for such things I wouldn't touch with a 10 footer.
Underwear? What's underwear?
prarie, i think it's time for your first laundry lesson._______i love poop.
What's under that kilt? Nice girls ask. Bad girls find out for themselves.
I had to click other, because I wear thongs. If I poop my pants, it's not my 'underwear' that's going to be the problem.
But I'd wash everything anyway.
_______.....hugging bunnies since 1969 www.daphneszoo.com
Wow. I can't believe how many people would throw their underwear away. Good underwear is expensive, more expensive that Oxy Clean.
I would think a thong would just slice the turd in half length-wise on the way out. Sorta like a cheese slicer. This is just pure speculation on my part.
Hey, buy the drawers at wal-mart and have no fear of throwing them out !
I hand them in to the charity shop.
Well, it was really just a shart and not a full on poop, but I threw out the undies. I have a drawer full of panties, I won't miss a pair, and it's not like underwear is expensive. _______Blowing you chocolate kisses from my butt...
I am so over this. My kid is still no fully potty-trained so, occasionally, accidents happen. We empty the nasties first into the toilet, then scrub them by hand in the bathtub and then put them in the wash with the rest of the laundry.
But that's for my kid's nasties. As for me, I would run soiled boxers up the flagpole in front of the local high school during the middle of the night._______Yo quiero Taco Bell.
I don't care who shit in what I don't deal with shit on clothes, right in the trash it goes. I can't stand the thought of shit swirling about in the washing machine with my dish towels and bath things. ugh!_______Earth, insane asylum for the universe.
Why would you throw out a pair of underwear just because they've got some turds in em? If your that scared of poop in your washing machine, then dump out the excess (no pun intended) and hand wash or put them in the machine after rinsing them out. You all are a wasteful group of poopers!
AC...........I agree that so many of those who posted above are wasteful but, I hope you noticed, that almost 30% of us are either poor enough or practical enough to keep those drawers, after a good washing of course. I once strained to deliver a fart to my coworkers and squirted a considerable amount into my boxers. I did the penguin walk to the bathroom and, since I was at work, tossed the drawers into the trash can. Other than that one time I have only tossed undies because they were worn out.
If you are all so afraid of getting germs in the laundry, run them thru the dryer first. The heat will kill them.
Personally I use the salad spinner for the sharted ones.
How about I just nuke them in the microwave?_______Earth, insane asylum for the universe.
I use them for hankerchiefs.
_______ The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
and that's why daphne is my favorite pooper!_______Happy Crappin' Homegrown Media Network
As I wipe away the tears from crying / laughing so hard and my co-workers wondering what in the world I am getting misty-eyed over, I wonder, how on earth did I run across such a hilarious and fun website as this?!! You all take such a "untouchable" (:)) subject such as poop and turn it into the most important topic this side of the H1N1 virus!! I love it!
Shit can them!!
Mrs MC, you'll never get that crispy brown skin if you use the microwave.
Tonya, please join us. We're not just a bunch of silly old morons. Some of us are young.
You're right, PD. Better to saute them is a skillet with a little garlic and onion.
hmmm...already battered...might as well deep fry them.
Bilge, that would be better for the runny stuff. Sorta like funnel cake.
you could dust powder sugar into your ass crack and fart over the freshly warm squirtle cake but be careful or else you'll get a squirt of hershey's syrup with it._______Earth, insane asylum for the universe.
MMMMMMMM.......Chocolate!
stamp em and send them to the whitehouse
Once underwear is soiled it is always soiled no matter what you do to it._______Russell the shitting queen
Russell.......When you are old enough to have to pay to replace the underwear yourself your view will probably change. It has only been a few years since baby diapers were washed and reused as a matter of course.
I would throw them away, I am not scraping turds out of underwear.
i have waited my entire life to find a site like this. and i ain't shittin' ya.
who gets a log caught in the pants? if its an emergency it's gonna squirt and soak. if you're close enough to the loo to rinse, just shit in the bowl. in the woods, bury them. on a boat, sink em. If you underwear can't be ditched at a moment's notice, rethink you're priorities.
If I was at home, I'd hand wash them, and then put them in the laundry. If I was out in public, I'd toss them. _______You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....
I've had to dispose of my soiled underwear in the past, but if I'd followed-through at home, I'd just wash 'em as normal. That being said, it's my other half who'd wash them, so it'd depend on what mood she was in...
At home I would hop in the shower and pre-wash them as I wash myself. Anywhere else I'm just going to toss them. The $3.00 is not worth carrying shitty chonies around with me until I get home. _______Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.
no flush freddy.....If you spent a lifetime looking for us you might as well join us. It's easy to register and join the family.
br>_______Eat chilies and feel the burn!!
Nobody has mentioned the obvious. Turn 'em inside out.
A guy in my fraternity crapped his pants at a dance at a fancy restaurant. We all knew about it because we found his tighty whities all balled up behind the toilet. Man, it stunk!
But that would reveal the results of the last accident._______ It's O.K., We just have to smell it; He's got to sit in it!
Probably makes a good case for chosing brown colored underwear - do they even make it in brown?
_______ It's O.K., We just have to smell it; He's got to sit in it!
I'm sure all the women here have had to hand- wash their underwear, sometimes on a monthly basis, if you know what I mean... so what's the difference? Rinse it out in the toilet, spray some Spray and Wash on it, soak it overnight, and it's ready for the washer!! I have two teenage boys and a husband whom I wish would learn to do their own laundry, (what skidmarks I have seen... I could write a book, wait, that's been done, so...), but as they don't, or won't, then my friendly bottle of Spray and Wash is my best friend!
What if a guy had chosen to go "commando" on that particular day ......
Fortunately, I have never pooped my pants when I was having normal poop; I've always been able to find a toilet or a usable place outside. However, last Christmas both my wife and I had what we believe was the Norovirus, involving sudden and quite uncontrollable diarrhea, and I did get some into my underpants before reaching the toilet. Believe me, we just washed those undies; just throwing them away would have kept them in wastebaskets or the like far too long, and besides, just throwing them away would have been too great a waste (oops--was that a pun?)
Then we managed to get to a store and buy some Depends. I hated wearing them, but I did it for 3 or 4 days. Compared to slathering my undies, having the Depends was wonderful. Not that I just let go in them, either; but with that disease, sometimes it came without warning or permission. Yes, I know, the Norovirus usually lasts only 24-48 hours; but I had it, got over it, and got it again. It was well over a week before I had a near-normal bowel movement again.
What do you mean "if" I shit my pants?_______Here I sit, my cheeks a flexin' , trying to give birth to another Texan!!
I'd flush them off in the toliet bowl and off into the wash they go......twice if I had too!
Pants, once crapped, are cursed forever. Throw them away immediately less you tempt the shit gods to strike you again.
I'd like those who won't keep their undies, panties, tighty-whiteys, etc. to please wad them up, enclose them in a self-destruct ziplock baggie to:
(Insert your least favorite poop reporter's name here.) POBox YouStink Goin down the low road, PR #2
~~Self-Destruct Zip-lock Storage bags bags are sold at all fine department stores in the lingerie and men's underwear sections~~
(I wanted to insert my very own least fave poop reporter, but didn't want to be tarnished with a lame comment.) _______To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.
What would I do? Well, if it was late one night in December, 1994 at a Travellodge in Lancaster PA I would have sneaked out of the room and tried to fling them into the dumpster that was locked behind a gate. I would have also failed miserably, as a stiff gust of wind from an oncoming storm front would have carried them into the slender branches of what I think was an elm tree growing in the backyard of someone's home. Where they would have hung for 2 days. Not what I planned...but that's what happened. I'd do it diffrently today. Hoping I don't need to....
Bran Lover, its ok, go ahead and use my name...I'm used to it. Just don't flip flop on me all the time like Logjam does...one day, I'm the love of his life, the next, his most mortal enemy...I get confused easily.
I almost pooped my pants again, this morning!
I have been losing weight as a result of a traumatic brain injury and inability to exercise much - and I am a personal trainer for 15 years!
Don't worry - I'm OK and working.
But I tried the "Ensure" nutritional drinks and there was a holocaust of drastic wet poop.
So I then tried the "Carnation Instant Breakfast" drinks. Worse! Had to run off the NYC subway to find a bathroom immediately, on the way to work today. And that's not easy, with the universal signs "Restrooms for Customers Only". But I begged and pleaded and pooped in a diner's bathroom.
My husband commanded: "Throw out that last bottle of Instant Breakfast!" I said maybe I could give it to our friendly neighborhood homeless guy for some nutrition.
But my husband said that then the poor guy would likely be pooping on the sidewalk.
I'm going to try regular whole milk and Nestle's Quik to put on some fat - not chemical stuff.
I have a Paris Hilton figure, but it's not where I wanna be.
Plus, the constant pooping is upsetting. Stay away from these supplements, I say!
_______Piece Out! Crapola
Crapola, I use a whey protein supplement to keep my weight up (overdrive metabolism) and have no changes in schedule, or consistency of poop. I have a Paris Hilton figure too...which is embarrassing...my chest is far to hairy to pull off the fashionista look.
You people who throw away good underwear just 'cuz you got some poop on 'em are why people call Western civilization rife with wasteful consumerism.
Seriously.
Rinse 'em off THEN put them in the washing machine! Jeezus!
So you'll get some poop on your hands, so what? Wash them, too! They already had poop on them, anyway.
I just came out of Wal-Mart. Bought some new boxer briefs. It's been one of those weeks.
I have been using whey protein for the better part of 2 years. Doesn't really upset my poop schedule so much, but it gives me tons of gas. On the up side it keeps people out of my office. _______Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.
If the undies were white or some other light color that would show the stain - I would throw them out. If they were dark - I would wash.
The answer to this poll question depends a great deal upon your setting and mass of poop expelled. A simple, small-output shart at home is an easy problem to fix. Drawers can be washed in the sink (to get rid of 95% of fecal matter) and thrown in with the next load of wash for the remainder. On the other hand (cheek), a large-output explosive diarrhea episode out on a hiking trail would be a much more daunting problem. I would be likely to stick my ass (while still dressed) in a creek, strip off pants and drawers while in the water and do a "field wash". I would rather be soaked in water waist-down than shitty!
It also depends on the underwear material. White cotton briefs will likely show the after-effects much worse than, say, thin-material boxer shorts. For ladies in synthetics, like lycra, I imagine that those materials would clean up easily and be dry in no time.
Any input from female poop reporters about shart clean-up in the field with different undie materials?
----Captain Craptastic!!!
Yeah, I'd be interested in the physics of a thong shart.
There's Oxyclean, bleach, shout and a host of "organic" stain removers. When's the last time you people went to a WalMart for gawds sake!
Never-the-less I gather that Bilgepump wants all the used skivvies you dont want. See addy above. (Not that he is my least fave poop reporter, but me thinks he secretly wants them for his cats.)
_______To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.
Physics of a thong shart:
Blown fart + Victoria Secret Thong = accidental shart divided by two.
Educational film at eleven.
Very dangerous stuff there Bran Lover. Those VS thongs are so thin that a few shit atoms could possibly be split causing a dirty bomb accident. Please recheck your calculations before we notify Homeland Security.
I would love to poop my pants as long as someone else cleans up the mess!!!
We're working on a new product here at the Doggin/Thunderbutt Institute. It's a white marker that you can use to cover up the skids on the whities. It will be marketed under the name "Shite-Out". Look for it on late night cable tv.
Homeland Security?
Shit!
Umm, I contacted Albert Einstein and he said that shit molecules do not destroy nearly as much as regular molecules. They fizzle and splatter about just a bit. Tiz all it does. N-n-no need to call Homeland Security!
Hey PD, can I have a job at the Doggin/Thunderbutt Institute? I'm willing to start at the bottom, so to speak. I can work in the mailroom, and I won't ask for my name to be added to the title for at least a week or so.
Postman, we have been overwhelmed with our request for underwear to be mailed in. Chief seems content with the granny panties, but we do need someone to open the mail from all the college co-ed's who are participating in the latest...uh survey on thongs. I guess you are qualified at handling mail and we would consider your application. Hurry down for your interview as we are expecting our first shipment from the gals on the View.
Will you be needing a drool cup?
Doggin/Thunderbutt Institute
Dear Doctors Doggin and Butt:
Bran Lover Insurance Agency would like to extend an invitation to show you a policy indemnifying you in case of a wrongful death lawsuit...
Postman,
What a frightening job. Sure there is the occassional hottie coed thong that you may receive, but realize that your main job is to open underwear to study the effects of poop on it. Hot colege coed thong or not, its still shitty underwear
_______Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.
Well I wear boxers, so it would be all down mah pahnts. But if I went in undies, I'd just hose it off in the backyard then wash it. But I keep socks and undies for wayy too long anyway. My socks and waistbands are all flaccid and smell like elastic.
Nine Inch Log...........We here at the Doggin/Thunderbutt Institute were not born yesterday. We require a properly notarized picture accompany each pair of undies. Granny panties accepted only from foxy grannies. Jockey shorts or boxers are strictly prohibited.
Dear Doggin/Thunderbutt Institute,
I am a college gradiate. I like to wear boxers that say "Juicy" on the back of them. I had myself a lil ole axident and would like too submit them to yous. You sayd boxers are strictly prohibited, but these are frum Victoria Secret and my shit dont steenk.
Do you want em?
Dear Bran Lover....Please send your stained boxers in for research, they will be turned over to our newest employee Postman.
Sincerely,
ChiefThunderbutt Doggin/Thunderbutt Institute
Bran Lover, please be sure you apply the proper postage on the parcel, and enclose a self addressed, stamped Hefty Ziploc heavy duty freezer bag in case our new employee goes into a coma or something.
OK, I'm ready to get started on my new career. Let me at those packages!!
PD and Chief, if anything comes in postage due, do you want me to pay it or return it to the sender?
Postman, if the contents of the postage due package are nasty, we send them back FEDEX. If they are downright vomit inducing we call in Big Brown. It'll be your call.
Chief, we need a title for the new guy.
poo is hot i always shit my pants leave dem on put a finger in my ass as i masterbate
Do you know how to spell? Have you studied English in school? Do you know how to hit the shift key while you are typing? Do you have an IQ higher than a chimp? Do you suck your finger clean after reaching orgasm? Do your parents know you are on the internet? So many questions!!
I remember being a horny 19 year old. Now I have a horny 19 year old grandchild. Sigh. Seems like only yesterday.
I have a couple suggestions for a title for myself:
Shart Checker Shorts Surveyor
And Squat, I was once a horny 19 year old, also, and now I'm a horny middle aged man. Some things never change.
I am in the last phase of my life....dirty old man. I hope to stay at this stage as long as possible because the next level is...dead old man.
Postman....I kinda think 'shart checker' has a nice ring to it.
Shart Checker it is. Postman, I mean shart checker, your hours are from 0800 to 1630 with a half hour lunch. This is not like the Post Office. We actually do some work during those eight hours. I hope you can adjust. Your lunch is from 1200-1230. Will you, heh heh, be brown bagging it or using the company cafeteria?
Do I get 13 paid holidays a year like I do with the Post Office?
Based on the nature of the company I would say that you are entitled to poop for peace day as a paid holiday. Perhaps even the days before and after as a precaution. You gotta get ready. However, in order to claim the afore mentioned days you must present a notorized certificate from the worldwide fecal institute staying that you did, in fact, poop for peace, and that said poop was, in fact, very large. _______Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.
Poop For Peace Day....14 paid holidays.
We also take off on Dave's birthday. That's 15.
Haha, I love answer #3. To be completely honest during my senior year of high school I had shat my pants while running to the bathroom and i left the soiled underwear on the ground for someone else to find. The thing was it also got on the shorts i was wearing and my socks. So i ditched the socks washed myself up best I could and returned to class. First 2 minutes I hear someone say eww whats that smell. I raise my hand saying that I wasnt feeling well and luckily got sent home because I was sick. Almost ruined my high school life.
One of the many advantages of going commando with a kilt, is no pants to poop, and no underwear to hide, wash, pitch, or whatever. Need to go on the interstate, during rush hour traffic? I can hunker down like I'm changing a tire, and drop a steamer. No one will know. Was first called Squat-n-Leaveit on a hunting trip. Was so easy to squat, and well...
I would leave it for someone else so they could admire my work. My shit is artwork, big, brown and oh so ever ripe. _______Poop long and prosper
Doggin/Thunderbutt Institoot:
Thank you for accepting my article of clothing. However, I received a set of pictures in the mail today in an unmarked brown envelope. They were pics of a person mishandling my "Juicy" boxer shorts I sent in.
I just wanted to let you know that I was calling POOTA, the organization advocating ethical treatment of poopy draws everywear.
I also wanted you to know that you have a brown rat in your Institoot.
I hope you are insured. _______To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.
Madam, I am going to refer your letter to our legal council for reply. Please be assured we take matters such as yours very seriously.
Bran Lover, please reply to this cum dunts letter. She sounds like a nutcase.
Thank you, Dogginberg
Dear Captain Craptastic,
I read your post up there about the clean up of ladies underwear. I happen to have a pair of silk drawers, and yes, I shit them. This was around the time I shit the bed in my sleep. Anyway, it's sufficient to say I was ill at the time. I'll tell you silk is not an absorbent material. Cotton will soak up a sleepy shart right away, but silk takes a while to absorb the mess. When I shit them, the shart rebounded off the silk and bubbled up over the back. Then, when I ran into the bathroom to take clean myself up, I took the underwear off and the gooey mess slipped right off of them and onto the floor. That never would've happened with cotton. The plus side is the poo was easier to get off them and they are navy blue, so no shit stain shows.
That's why I always use silk hankerchiefs. Just a little shake and the snot comes flying off.
PD, on my palm I don't see the author and my brotha I don't have to because I always can tell whaen it is you. Lol, I'm fristrated about my forums blunder. It will be next week before I can work on it, unless I go to mama's to get on the P U TER. I want to play and I can't ! Whah whah whah._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
Dear Cum Dunt Nutcase:
Take your "Juicy" boxers back. Shart Checker is done with them.
Thank you. _______To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.
I'd mail it to some politician for a speech idea. _______I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!
I would mail mine to the Doggin Thunderbutt institute of Scatology._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
If you're not going to mail them can I have them. I'll save them all up and mail them to Veronica for Christmas._______Earth, insane asylum for the universe.
Sure, Mrs. Crapper. The next time i crap my pants, i will send them to the highest bidder.br>_______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
I love your name, poot the magic turdbot. It is one of my favorite songs. Will you sing it to me, PD? That is what big brother's do, sing to their little sisters._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
i was at this place i dont remember what it was, but someone left an undewear filled with crap in the bathroom's ONLY stall! it stunk so freakin bad!
i would keep them on and compress my ass together spreading the poo all over my ass cheeks if feels so warm and good
Dear Anonymous Coward....I would pull my shit filled shorts down over your head and rub them vigorously on your cheeks...it feels so warm and good.
Sounds like a panty party to me! May I join you Chief? _______To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.
this page is so funny. i think if i pooped my underwear, I would throw it away. I have once before. I had bad diarrhea, and I was sitting on the couch watching Oprah, and I felt like I had to fart, I already had a bloated stomach anyway. I thought my diarrhea had passed, but no...I kind of had a squirt come out instead of a fart. It sucked. I balled my panty up and threw it away, and showered. Now i know not to fart while being sick.
I'd take them off and go set them on my boss' desk.
Ebay. I s**t you not. Okay maybe I do...
I have a pair of PJ shorts for DTI as I discovered a little dollop of dried poo splatt in them at 0520 this am. I dropped them on the floor to deal with when I get home from work. I plan to soak them before I wash them. I'm not going to throw them away as the damage is not severe._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
DO NOT SOAK! DTI instructions are clear. DO NOT SOAK! Please send them in, as is.
Geez, the nerve of some people....
Alright, alright, alright already! I won't soak! I will send them in as is! Sheesh!_______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
i think if i had an accident in my panties i told my mummy. she would throw at basket
I dropped my poopped boxers on the floor to be dealt with this evening when I get home from work. Then I will soak them to loosen the month old watermelon seed off and wash them in the washing machine. In poopreprt world I will fed-ex them to DTI attention Dr. Prairie Dog._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
Why in the world is there a month old watermelon seed on your boxers?! Are you trying to grow some melons SP?_______Earth, insane asylum for the universe.
Because, MMC, it was August or September when I had watermelon. Since my poo is watery, all there was in my boxers was a brown stain, a few brown mucus string and a white underdeveloped watermelon seed. The nice thing about boy drawrs is the butt panel is double layered so only a water drop, the size of a silver dollar got on my sheets and stained them light brown. What is sittingpretty doing any night of the week? washing sheets and soaking drawers._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
SP, bring that seed into work with you and turn it over to the Chief. He has some sort of hydroponic garden growing in one of the basement labs. Maybe he'll plant it and see what grows. He must be a good gardener. That lab is full of green plants.
Most of my,,,er...experimental plants turn gold after drying!!
The seed is all Chief's! It is an underdeveloped seed now. Just so you know that its not a mature fertile black seed. I don't see any signs that it tried to root in me, like no roots are shooting out of it like a potatoe._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
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