i ask, because i noticed that i seem to fart a lot in the morning, but it kind of trickles off as the day goes on. does anyone else fart more at a certain time of day?
p.s. i'm out of polls waiting to be posted. so send me ideas (or remind me if you have sent one in that didn't get posted), or i'm gonna keep thinking of them on my own and they might not all be winners like this one._______i love poop.
Yep, a couple of hours after eating the speciality of the day becomes an air-freshener.
Crikey Pance, I fart all bloody day and night from waking up to passing out, plus - I have it on several good authorities - during my sleep. Apparantly, when I sleep-fart (which is almost as frequently as I do when awake), I still grunt and sigh as I release them, sometimes even raising my leg or pushing out my arse. It's as if my body is programmed to behave in a certain way with farts, because I'm so flatulent that trying to be otherwise is simply not an option.
I am a powerful morning farter. I usually fart with my first stretch as I wake, which usually kick-starts my bladder, so I usually fart within the first half minute of opening my eyes, then have a pee. When I've had a pee, tea, breakfast and farted a little more, I'll feel the tugging in my guts and have my first morning poo. After which, the gas flows more freely.
Farting over 80 times in a day is not unusual for me. Luckily, most of the women in my life have had a sense of humour and although I made the occasional social faux pas by not being able to hold it in, they've by and large been good sports. That, and because I'm a very nice easygoing fellow who can otherwise be quite charming, my rancid fizzy arse is forgiven as a mildly irritating but somehow endearing quality.
I usually fart before my morning b.m.; if I have another movement later in the day, I often prelude it with farts, too. At night, I get up two or three times to pee (enlarged prostate, you know), and while there, I usually fart. I find it necessary; also, it loosens the pee sphincter up enough sometimes to help me do that faster. Usually the night farts are not smelly and do not directly precede a b.m.
no set time, and usually it depends on if the cat sneezes while I'm wiping.
_______ The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
Scummy the thought of you all snug in bed deep asleep then raising your leg like a dog and cutting one out is beyond comprehension for me.
OK I've stopped laughing now. I fart all the live long day, but I seem to be especially gassy when the mr is home. It's all the built up love I have for him tryin to escape._______Earth, insane asylum for the universe.
I mostly fart while taking a shit. Yesterday, I didn't fart at all until late last night, when I was taking a dump. I farted about five times, loud too.
Much like my business, farting is a 24/7 operation. We never close.
I had to vote for all day. I hit the floor farting and use my gas for a little extra boost as I walk to either the tea kettle or the coffee pot. I fart once or twice as I read my e-mails. Another fart, or three, while I am consuming breakfast. It is now morning dump time and I seldom fart while on the pot unless I am suffering from diarrhea. Shortly after this my breakfast kicks in and I"m at it again. I don't know if I fart in my sleep or not, but I suspect I do, actually I hope I do.
In my 46 years of marriage I have heard my wife fart twice and one of these was after a colonoscopy. She will never catch up with me.
_______Eat chilies and feel the burn!!
Don't be so sure about your wife there Chief. She may have been holding them back for 46 years, waiting for the right opportunity.
Does she look a bit puffy?
I answered evening then immediatly regretted it. I would like to officially change my answer to Other: I would say that I definately dart more when my boss enters my office. I discovered that the stench keeps her visits short. Lately she has avoided my office all together :o) _______Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.
I fart like crazy in the morning. It's a good thing I'm alone, and around alot of noisy food service equipment, cuz they are loud. And lately very smelly. But I like the fact that I can just let 'em rip without offending anyone.
My God PD.........You were right, today she finally let loose and flew about the house like a released balloon. You will not believe the stench of gas that has been retained for almost half a century. I can only say.......gasp..choke....wheeze....gag.
I voted no. I wake, then I fart all the big bubbles that collected in the terminal overnight. The pressure of flatulance is uncomfortable for me so it usually wakes me up in the middle of the night pre- emptively. I don't fart very often at night. When one presses for departure in my sleep it makes itself present in my dream. So I'm aware of all my nighttime emissions. The older I get the harder it is to save a slipperoo from embarrassing me at inopportune moments. I have another fart related poll for you, Wonderpance. It has been on my mind for poopreport for awhile. I don't know if my suggestion is already up on poopreport, so here goes. Does anybody pop a fart in the onslought of an orgasm. OK. I said it. I really want to know even if Wonderpance doesn't make a poll out of my question._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
The bean sprouts finally kicked in, Chief. Lol. Does she know you are telling her stinky fart history or are you just making a funny._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
Bilgepump, PD, I went to the forums last evening. I saw your welcome message Bilgeypoo. I tried 5 times to send you a reply. I don't think I got one to you AT ALL. I don't have enough literacy to move around the board. I don't know what my ICQ is or my jabber address. What is that?_______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
You don't have one, and its not necessary to get one...ICQ is a chat program, no idea what Jabber is...but neither are required to be in the forums and registered, just leave that part blank.
I definitely fart a bunch in the morning and I'm prone to farting alot at the office. As a regular mass transit commuter, it seems that a fair number of people are mass transit farters. The subway seems to be the venue of choice._______Yo quiero Taco Bell.
I'm an all day farter, but I do my best work in the morning.
I break wind all day, sometimes enough to fill a hot air balloon. If I`ve had kimchi the day before or ful medames for breakfast I can fill two balloons.
OK then. Did you get any of the five i sent. on my end it said it coulnt find uo or something similar_______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
Tbox, I know you travel quite a lot, but I was unaware that you did all your excursions by hot air balloon.
I had ful madames for breakfast a few minuted ago, I can't thank you enough for bringing it to my attention T-box. Rather than garnishing with chopped tomatoes I use hot salsa and add a generous scoop of a fiery sambal. I may fly up to visit my daughter today as I shall soon be producing vast quantities of hot air.
Chief, have you considered having some advertisements painted across your belly? Some of the smaller tire companies may be interested and a little extra cash can't hurt.
I did vote for that I usually have the most flatulatants in the morning. However, I actually have them most in the morning (as I wake up, before my first bowel movement) and also in the afternoon. I get free lunch at work that includes a small salad bar which includes an assortment of food with protein (hard boiled eggs, tuna and crab salad, chicken salad and occasionally seafood surprise). So after lunch is usually a fart fest for me. It's hard to hold it sometimes since I am in meetings several afternoons and work in a cubicle (I am also the only male in the office).
Nothing like the feeling of taking a big healthy poop. i love it. Its almost better than sex.
I answered "all day" but with a few caveats. I usually rip off a good one right when I wake up; my way of saying "good morning" to the world! I also have a tendency to fart during and immediately after eating, especially if Ranch Beans or Mexican food are involved. But, speaking in general terms, farts can occur at any time from awakening until falling asleep.
I feel certain that I also fart when I am asleep, I just am not aware of their passing. I have heard that the average adult passes between four and six liters of farts a day! Imagine two or three two-liter soda bottles filled to 14.7 pounds per square inch (at sea level) of nothing but farts! That's what you put out EVERY DAY!
Think about that for a minute and tell me what you think about that statistic. I eagerly await your response (written not rectal)! ----Captain Craptastic!!!
I fart pretty much only in the morning unless I have eaten some particularly offensive meal for dinner. I possess a phobia about farting into upholstery or clothing. I'm certain that if I fart into the sofa, the fart air will sink into the cushions, the fibers will lock in the smell, and stale fart will waft up at me the next time I sit on the cushions. I feel the same way about clothes. I just know my undercrackers will trap the scent of l'eau de Poopsy and I'll walk around stankin' all day. Therefore, I only fart in the toilet.
Wow Poopsie. If I had that phobia, I'd be naked and on the toilet all day. I guess if I could get a reclining one with a mini bar, it wouldn't be half bad.
All day, all night. Hot or cold, sober or drunk, sick or healthy, hungry or stuffed, you get the idea. I am never without the farts.
Poopsy....back in the good old days when I lived in Selma Alabama (I was stationed at the now defunct Craig AFB) we had a very big overstuffed chair that was constantly fought over because it was just so damned comfortable. I was seated there watching TV and blowing SBDs down into the innards of the chair when I decided I wanted a beer. As soon as I got up my wife rushed over and gleefully hopped into the chair while cackling victoriously. As soon as the air she displaced rushed up from the chair and assailed her nostrils her shrill cackling turned into shrieks of disgust. I had the chair again when I returned from the fridge with my beer.
_24-7-365.______Here I sit, my cheeks a flexin' , trying to give birth to another Texan!!
Laugh out loud.Chief you made me laugh about your wife getting sacked with a deadly. Last night I drempt I was in a hotel in Greese pooping slipping out a liitle bit into my panties. The first thing I did when I woke up this morning was feel them to see if it was real. I farted in my sleep. I also drempt some boy from Pakistan was running toward throwing a poo ball at me and trying to smear it in my hair. I thought back and... that's all I remember. Bad poopdreams._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
I didn't wake up also knowing I have been having to poo and holding it in in my sleep._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
Dat vasn't a drream.
Pakistani boy.
Wow, sitting pretty, I have never heard of poop dreams. I guess it is possible though. When I was in the hospital years ago for my stroke I couldn't walk or pee on my own. I used to have dreams that I was running through the mall (or wherever) pissing myself and laughing maniacly. I was always dissapointed when I woke up. _______Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.
Farts in the early morning before you get up are the worst. I am accustomed to the SBD variety in the day, but the Butt-Report-Shots sounding off in the dawn's early light always wake the hubby. Sometimes I wake grumpy, but mostly I like to let him sleep! _______To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.
Chief, just like a dog marking his territory! WTG! _______To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.
Bran, I have been thinking all these years that I couldn't possibly get married because of my waking farts._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
PD, it was dreams. At 4am I woke up and turned the channel to PBS and fell back to sleep while watching a show on Pakistan. It was about the taliban and well, I guess I mixed poo with bomb in my delta state and got hit with a poo bomb in my dream._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
I have had poop dreams, usually involving being someplace where the toilet, often strangely shaped, is full of turds; but I have to use it anyway, so I have to hover or go into some other position so as not to get close to all that poop, which sometimes overflows and follows me. Amazingly, such dreams almost never mean that I have to go when I awake; they are just dreams, fortunately quite seldom (though memorable).
Lol, MSG. It sounds like you are working out your issues with public pooping in your dreams. When my feline child, my mother and I returned hometown from evacuating for Katrina and Rita, I had to pee on the cement in front in the restroom. The restrooms had all been in the Rita hurricane in westsout La. and Ketrina the east south La. There was no restroom along the I-10 that didn't have toilets filled with toilet paper and etc. to the very top of the seat. There was no way I could hover over that. I dropped my own tp on my pee. I didn't see the point in adding one more thing to the toilet. I held it as long as I could. We realized after a couple of restrooms in a row destroyed that that was all there was. It seemed like the world had ended and I was alone devoid of other humans in a foriegn land that day with only my cat and my mother to protect me. Some protection._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
Another time, I drempt that I was naked on a toilet in a white room with no door. It was on a busy street and people could see me. There was a bright flourescent light shining on me. I'm so what I glow in the noon sun and bright lights. It was a terribly frightening dream._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
I'm so WHITE. I meant white not what. Sorry._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
I used to fart mainly after dinner. However, since I've had to start taking Miralax every day, I fart all day long, and they smell even worse than normal. At least I can now poop every day with no trouble.
I fart all day. I mainly fart after eating my meals but I may drop a few throughout the day as well._______Russell the shitting queen
I am envious off all you poo dreamers!! I am curious though. When you poo in your dream do you feel it? Does it feel good? _______Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.
Nine Inch, It is the same as when i have to pee in my dreams. In the dream it is unsatisfying because im not really pooing just dreaming that i am. At the same time just like when i have to pee, i still feel fullness pain in bladder or rectum in the dream which fially wakes me up, epon which time i rise to the occassion _______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
I will be honest and admit that once when I was very young I dreamed that I had gotten out of bed and was easing my bladder out the back door, not a usual procedure. I woke up in a sodden bed and was soundly rebuked by my saintly mother. I was probably in the second grade.
Many a night i had drempt i was on the tiolet peeing when in reality, I was sound asleep. I would feel the shower curtain in my dream to prove to myself that i was not dreaming. I was deceived everytime._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
I have heard of people wetting the bed due to dreaming of peeing (hell, it happened to me). Has anyone pooped the bed while sleeping? An ex girlfriend once said that her friend's boyfriend pooped the bed, but that's thrice removed hearsay. Any first or second hand accounts? _______Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.
I have shit the bed in my sleep. I wrote a story for poop report about it. It actually happened on my birthday in March. In my defense, I was quite ill at the time. Little did I know I had some sort of raging stomach infection.
I was a bed wetter of epic proportions. I slept on a plastic sheet until I was 7. Some nights I'd get out of bed and pee in closets, I peed on the rocking chair in my baby brother's room, once I went on a kitchen chair. I guess I was sort of sleep walking because I never remembered getting out of bed. My mother would sometimes catch me mid squirt and guide me to the bathroom. She was forced to be a light sleeper due to my nocturnal urinating habits.
What's really strikes me about being the bed wetter I was is that I never woke up just after I peed. I'd sleep soundly all night in my own little puddle. It was said by my poor mother that world war 3 could be taking place just outside my window and I'd never stir.
I have dreamed I was taking a dump but thank God I didn't follow through with one in the bed.
The only time I pooed in my sleep was last nov.- dec. when I had that fecal blockage and my then doctors were ignoring it. I have since been put on a canadian motility drug. Since then I have not needed 6 scoops miralax a day anymore. Now I only need 2o3 scoops of miralax per day. Now I only dream about taking a poo if I have to poo while I'm asleep. I wake up at least once per night to poo and pee. My bladder hurts me when I have to poo AND when I have to pee-it feels the same. _______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
Poor sittingpretty.....Before I was diagnosed with diabetes and bladder problems I had to get up a minimum of six times in the course of a night to piss, not really very conducive to a restful night. Now that I have controlled my diabetes through diet, and use a urinary catheter before bedtime I sleep all the way through until morning. Life is much more fun now.
So Chief, that sounds so romantic. That is a condom catheter right? Or are you self cathetering yourself every night? I cant imagine you inserting cath in your pee pee every night. _______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
I am just a fart machine.
After my second surgery for bladder and kidney stones, I had to learn to insert my own catheter. I hated it, but I could do it at need (if I had urinary retention). When I wore a Foley catheter, pooping was a living nightmare about which I have written elsewhere on this site.
Msg, I, too have learned the art of self cathing. I had to do it for a few months while my spinal cord slowly healed. Once I got past the shock factor I quite liked it. I could take a piss while watching TV, no need to get up! _______Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.
Every morning I'm a farting machine, but then things quiet down after I give birth to the brown trout. The rest of the day it's maybe once an hour.
I cant stand catheters. It makes my meatus hurt. I cry all day, my eatus, my meatus, i need xylocaine. get me xylocaine for my meatus. i cant take. i couldnt catheterize myself because of the pain. Mabe the pain is from the interstitial cystitis. All i know i cant inflict pain onto myself. Not even a sq B12 shot. i am a big babyfied ninny when it comes to pain. sittingpretty has a low tolerance to pain._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
BUt when it comes to inserting catheters in patients, i have excellent technique. I have catherized newborns to old, real od people. It is much easier th catheterize babies and men. _______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
sittingpretty........I insert a catheter into my weewee about four times a day and have been doing it for the last two years. The only time I had difficulty with the procedure was the first time.
The reason this procedure is so difficult at first is purely psychological. The male weewee prefers to invade rather than submit to invasion. Once you have done it and found there is no discomfort involved, the procedure is welcomed as the feeling on an entirely empty bladder is wonderful in one that has not experienced it for a number of years. The extra sleep I enjoy at night is wonderful also.
br>_______Eat chilies and feel the burn!!
SP, having both tried it, Chief and I can highly recommend sliding naked down old wooden bannisters as a way to toughen up that area. If you need any other help in the pain abatement area, please feel free to contact us.
Ha ha ha, the banister slide wouldnt toughen me, it would just traumatize me. i havent straddled anything in 6 yrs. no bikes, no horses, no motor cycles, no men. Everytime i check to see if i can straddle my honeyman(my lover/beekeeper, it hurts and he gets a hard on for nothing._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
SP, how and WHY would you go 6 years without straddling anything? Not even a bicycle?
_______Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.
Nine inch. All my pain is in the vajayjay, bladder, rectum and surrounding pelvis tissues. Including the vulva. After i straddle a bike or horse i ache for a day or so in the pelvis and the vulva is sore even longer. It hurts pretty bad just sitting on the seat or saddle. My pelvis muscles are very weak so they REALLY hurt me after a ride._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
Yesterday i went to my cousin's restaurant for blunch(b/t lunch and supper) and the waitress popped a loud fart. She said excuse me. My friend from sweden and i were the only customers in the dining room at the time. _______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
sp.....Your Swedish friend could have gone one up on the waitress by letting out a surstromming fart. I have never smelled one but I would imagine that they are deadly.
My swedish friend says i get along with her hubby so well cuz we like talking poop and fart stories. I told her i am a poopreporter. She laughed and laughed._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
How did the outburst effect the waitress' tip ??
______ It's O.K., We just have to smell it; He's got to sit in it!
I gave a good tip as it wasn't my waittress and the wasn't ar my table when it happened. It is a small neighborhood rest. and bar. It might be well known as it gets standing room only in the bar for all the people who come just for Jazz Fest. The lady might have a problem like me. mabe not like me. What I havw is very rare in adults._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
My husband and I fart before bed and the nastiness fumes its way up the crack in the sheets.
What is a surstromming fart, Chief?_______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
Fermented herring, SP.
Really, it is.
Worse than a limberger cheese fart?
_______To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.
Bran, you aren't Scandanavian, are you? Fermented herring is possibly the worst smelling thin on the planet...rotten fish...rotten little fish. Mighty tasty though.
To Constipated in Ottawa, the activity you describe is known as a "dutch oven" only with both parties participating, the trick is to catch the other partner by surprise! Here where I live in the "wild west" it's known as a Covered Wagon!
Oooh, yeah. i remember my smoked herring farts. knockem' dead farts. i will ask her if she eats fermented herring. Then i will know._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
I think that "stinkheads" rank up there in rank.
stinkhead is a fish off New Jersey's coast?_______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
They are fish heads or eggs (stink-eggs) that are buried underground in the summer and unearthed in the fall. Even the bones become mushy. The whole mess is kneaded into a paste and eaten. I understand the stench is vomit inducing to outsiders, but I have been given notice that I will eventually have to eat some on one of my Alaskan trips. Hopefully PR has a vomit report section in the forums by then.
Oh, most of the fish caught off Jersey are delicious, especially if you like the heads. They usually have two or three.
Since we have pee stories, probably you could write a vomitus story.And start the section with your story on stinkhead emesis._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
Great comment PD...The Jersey fish would be a big hit in Japan where fish head soup is very popular.
As to Surstromming, it is one of the stinky foods of the world that I think I would enjoy. The Japanese have a fish dish that is cured in brine that has been reused for up to 300 years, delicious, but slightly stinky, Kusaya, which means STINKY.
Bilgey, I am of German descent. However, I ask about the Limberger Cheese because in my Sophomore year in High school, someone left some of the horible foul smelling cheese on the radiator in the back hallway as a Senior prank. I had to hold my breath for the next two years. It never did stop stinking. The fried nasty worst-ever fart smell made our eyes water! I just can't imagine too many things smelling worse. _______To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.
I have a bad ass as in smelly my bf nearly dies after I go to the loo, but I fart all day and when he smells something I blame someone or something else. :D _______I am me and no one can say otherwise! (I cant spell!)
I have to say that I fart more and all day if I am backed up with old poo. When I am not backed up I don't fart so much._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
It really depends on what I've been eating. If I have something with tomato sauce in it, you'll hear (and smell) me all day. In fact, I've been thinking of installing one of those geo-hazard alarms like that have at Mount Rainier, just so people know when to head to high ground. (The smell rises, you know.) _______I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!
Other... before I have to shit.
TSV.......I think occasionally you will let a heavy fart that actually sinks. I was once working a mid-shift by myself in a carpeted control tower. When I first came on duty I let several very rancid farts (pork dumplings with lots of cabbage, onion and garlic). Shortly after that I had to turn the radio receivers to full volume and run down one flight of stairs for a quick shit. It was at least six hours before my relief crew appeared but when they walked in it seemed that their shoes squashed fart vapors out of the carpet and sent them up to nose level.
That a really dense fart Chief. Really dense._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
I've noticed lately that I fart a lot in the morning, then hardly at all during the day, then a lot at night.
Maybe this has something to do with being a Shameful Shitter.
Or it has something to do with gas._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
I poot all the time. I think I may have IBS because no matter what I eat it makes me poot a lot. And if I don't poot my stomach hurts bad. The trapped air is uncomfortable so I have to poot to be comfortable. When I'm at work, I have to scoot up in my cubicle and blow off poots all day long. I cross my legs at the ankles, lean back in my chair like I'm stretching and raise up and poot and then try and sit on them before the odor escapes. I have a little bottle of body spray that I secretly spray if I smell my poot. LOL my co-workers think I've put on lotion. First thing in the morning, I poot a lot in bed. I must take in a lot of air at night. And it always seems like when I'm out in the stores browsing, I have to find me a little empty spot to pass a couple of good poots in. I'll be browsing and it never fails my belly starts rumbling and I poot in public. I think pooting is natural. If I got to poot, I'm pooting. I try to stay out of peoples way because I don't want to offend nobody. I was at the drug store one day and I pooted long and loud about six times. The more I pooted the more I had to poot. It was crazy. I stood by those cards and pooted my butt off. LOL
Lady Poot.....Eat some yogurt, fresh (not canned) sauerkraut or kimchi and drink sweet acidophilus milk (or buttermilk) to culture some bacteria in your innards that may help your digestion. If none of this helps just enjoy your flatulance. I have been farting with tremendous regularity for well over half a century and have enjoyed every poot.
I still say you need to take your excessive pootiness to the gastroenterologist. Something is wrong with your stomach and/or your bowels._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
I have a whole farting and scratching routine that completely dominates the first half-hour of my day.
I am sure glad that 99 % of the time my poops are solid and self-contained. This normal and desirable gastrointestinal condition gives rise to what I have called THE ABILITY TO FART WITHOUT FEAR. Very rarely do I need to be concerned with SHARTS.
STEP-BY-STEP INSTRUCTIONS FOLLOW:
1. Feel a gaseous pressure building above the rectal receptacle
2. Position body, ass and legs for maximum release effect (either kinetic explosive violence or loud sonic disruption)
3. Estimate volume to be released and judge appropriate squeeze technique
4. Let rip with the MOTHER OF ALL FARTS!!!
5. Enjoy the fruits/ farts of your labor.
I thought this sounded like a teachable moment.
----Captain Craptastic!!!
Sittingpretty, Give me a break! Pooting is natural. There is nothing wrong with my stomach! It's normal to poot up to 40 times a day per the experts. Some people have more gas than others. And I recently started eating fiber fart bars (fiber one bars) and Umph! Watch out now! But they are so good. I had one for a snack one afternoon, went to family dollar and pooted all over that store. LOL...Oh well! I'm discreet with it. I don't stand by a shopper and blow off gas, but I find an empty area, stand in one spot and poot long and loud until I'm relieved.
In the morning, I fart like a fiend. But once I drop my morning load, the ass trombone quiets down. The rest of the day it's just the occasional fart. Good thing. In my line of work, I better keep a cap on my ass. Most people don't like the mailman shitting his pants while he's on their front porch.
I was really fart-licious today. It is from Jalepeno Cheetos and Smarties. _______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
USABIDET: Wash -- don't wipe!Toilet paper and politics share common ground: they both just smear poop.usabidet.com
Your ad here!
