i chose pinch it off and run. when someone else starts pooping loudly and smelly, i will usually sit there with my fingers in my ears (so i can't hear) and my nose in my shirt (so i can't smell it) until i can get the crap outta there.
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i love poop.

I voted "other". I fight back...poor bastard doesn't stand a chance.

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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

I usually just sit there and suffer, there is a price to pay for gentlemanly behavior but, if I am the one befouling the atmosphere I offer no apology.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Retaliation in kind. One good shit deserves another.
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Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Speed and alacrity is of the essence in this situation. Pump the shit out and get out. While I'm ripping my sphincter edges I am planning the next place I can go for a leisurely re-wipe.

What's so funny 'bout poop, love, and understanding?

Other. If the smell is so offensive that it takes the oxygen in my stall and gives me pain to my olefactory nerve, then I will choke and gag and cough and choke and gag some more. My eyes will water and my nose will run. I will be making a lot of noise.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

That's easy. Other. I wad up a whole ball of toilet paper, dip it in the water, and fling it over the stall divider. Why should I pinch off and leave when SHE can do it?!

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I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

I'm surprised that "Fight Back" wasn't an option!

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You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....

I pitch 'n ditch. The problem with chemical warfare is that if both parties drop bombs, both sides take casualties. I would rather cut my losses, run, and live to fight again than suffer the combined might of two weapons of ass destruction.

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Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

No one stays to drop a load if I'm there first. I hear them come in, but usually they quickly do a 180 and exit. I laugh when they make that stifled gag noise while spinning on their heels.
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Help for IBS

I have a strong stomach for reek, so I usually go about my business. Although if someone next to me hangs a rat in an unusually rank or noisy way, I won't hesitate to congratulate them. In a wiseass insulting way of course.

As my name implies, by the time I get the paper pulled and spiraled the hand, I'm done. So stink away! I will not be exposed to anybodies noxiousness very long.

Squat.....So an alias of your is, shit and run??

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Dump-n-dash

Shit-n-Git

I don't consider myself shameful. However, I only use public restrooms if it is absolutely necessary. So once I am in there I am committed to the finish. "Whatever doesn't kill me only makes me stronger", right?

How about 'Blow-n-go', Squat?

I usually will give them hell verbally and join them in their fight to stink people out

I`ve only been in this situation once and all I could do to prevent me from passing out from the poison gas was to hold my breath, wipe and run.

I never saw the guy who was spraying the stall next to me with his deadly diarrhea but just had to assume that he died on the job.

I say, "Run Forrest, Run!"

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To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

i can't friggin stand when someone has the audacity to oomment on my shit stank in public stalls. I still have yet to enter a restroom with "rose garden" posted on the door.

ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK.

I would just climb up on the toilet, hang my ass over the top of the partition, and drop my load right on the head of the offending party.

Unless, of course, the adjacent stall is being occupied by Evander Holyfield or somebody like that, in which case they can stink it up all they want.

Is it ok to ask for his autograph in this instance? (Captive audience...)
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To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

You can ask, but he may want to finish beating your brains out before he gives it to you.

Will he pull up his pants before he beats my brains out? (...hoping!)
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To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

"eye for an eye."yes? I would try to be louder an stink it up,then wait for him to leave.

You'll want to determine who is in the other stall before using my method.

Evander Holyfield - no
Steven Hawking - okay

Lumberjack, having someone oomment on your poop stink is a good thing. You are confusing it with comment which is a bad thing.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Try..... that..... Postman..... and..... .I....
will..... kick..... .your..... black..... .hole....all..... the..... .way..... to..... Uranus

Uh..... if..... .I..... .could..... only..... move

Steven Hawking

Now that I've got children, I talk about stinky poo all the time. My kids will usually break the ice with a comment like "Mommy, that poopy stinks worse than yours! Even worse than God's" poop!" Isn't that the best??? Can you imagine being the perpetrator and then having the 5 year old in the stall next to you say that your poop stinks worse than god's? That's an accomplishment!

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Shitwit....The real test of the stench of your poo would be to compare it to a dook from Satan's hiney! Ahh, the smell of roadkill and brimstone!

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

ummm... I chose other.. Well, I think I might try to out poop the person just 'cause im gross like that..

Ill give the guy a hi-5

Roadkill and brimstone is what comes out of me after eating Long John Silvers... or so I've recently discovered...
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Help for IBS

IBSalot......I have stopped eating at Captain D's since I found out what the D stands for, "diarrhea", probably caused by the pint of oil that can be squeezed from one of their meals.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Chief, I'm surprised that you didn't see that the "iarrhea" part of the neon sign was burned out. You need to get your eyes checked.

Well....that means I can probably start eating at B__GER KING again. I always figured it was something else.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

A job well done deserves recognition. Shitting is hard work and I feel it's a person's duty in a neighboring stall to show their support for someone destroying a toilet.

I pride myself on being a "paint peeler" so I would have to acknowledge him, and give credit where it's due.

If I'm pooping in a "public" restroom, because that rarely happens, it's gonna be bad. Sorry....... that was me. I AM the guy who peels the paint off the walls.

I sit there and suffer. I know that when I'm dropping a few egg farty kids at the pool, I don't need someone to be making comments about it. So I extend the same courtesy to other women braving the stalls.

I would squeeze off a competitor. Fight fire with fire! "Oh, so you want to play, huh? Well here's one right back at ya'. Top that you amateur!" This can be seen as a challenge to rise above the mundane and produce a turd of really magnificent proportions and odors.

I have been in multi-stall cans before and heard some poor SOB dealing with explosive diarrhea. I usually just giggle like a 6-year-old schoolgirl or say "Right On!", but if I am brewing a turd, WATCH OUT! Your puny efforts don't stand a chance against my awesome ass!
----Captain Craptastic!!!

I voted for Other, as I would most likely make an effort to see who leaves the stall and see if it's someone I know.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

I wonder why there wasn't a choice for a 'pocket air freshener: Your own fart'
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Farts smell good when they are your own...

I continue to handle my business as, I tell him to flush the toilet and light a match! All while wondering in the back of my mind if he ate at the same burrito hut on 6th and congress street

My recent thing is passing gas while at the gym. For some reason working out pushes out all the extremely STANK gas. It makes my nose curl and I can only imagine what it does to those around me. Of course I don't want to take credit, and I doubt that anyone is sure where it comes from. Is there precident for this?

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Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

9, you (and most others frequenting the gym) are probably consuming those protein shakes? In my book gulping down a shaker of Muscle Milk is equivalent to eating a dozen horsemeat tacos

Lumberjack,
Your assumption would be correct. Very high protein diet. I agree that protein shakes cause horrible gas, what I DON'T get is, if most regular gym visitors use protein, why doesn't the gym always stink like rancid horse fart?

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Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Lumberjack,
Your assumption would be correct. Very high protein diet. I agree that protein shakes cause horrible gas, what I DON'T get is, if most regular gym visitors use protein, why doesn't the gym always stink like rancid horse fart?

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Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

When i poop in a public bathroom i can't continue if there's a talker in the area. As in they talk to me. I will stop all things and awkwardly mumble something back. I'm also a frequent light shutter offer in large department store bathrooms. I think it's hilarious to shut off the lights on someone dropping a dookie. hahahahaha!

a lot of salsa in a diet will mutate your hammer. Doofin in a public place is gnarly. how do people blow that shotgun blast dookie on the back of the bowl? it's like they angle their butthole for maximum side-winder and let the blaster loose. Weird eh?

Yeah i just pump and dump dude. Who hangs out on the damn can in a public place? That doof is gone before you can say "pinch the blimp".
The longest part is the wipe. Especially with a sticky dook. Thats what will get ya. A real live dookie butt. Hopefully you don't have a muff butt or nothin. Wipe the area a good number through too. I wipe till it's good and gone, no half assin it. Get it!

pinch them loafs.......what language is your comment in?

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Nothing seems to irritate the chief more than poor grammar.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

By the way, Chief, I noticed the photo of you on the forums looks a lot like Johnny Cash in a feather wig.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

feel the burn of death muuuhahahaXD..;;;;

sit-and-get

Here is a question of etiquite: how should one handle the cell phone pooper? You know, the guy (or girl) in the next stall talking on his or her cell phone while dropping a duece. I find that quite dusturbing. I have tried making "ehem" noises to politly get them to stop. Doesn't work. I then resorted to grunting, still no success. Loud, wet shits? Nope, I actually had a phone talker ask me to keep it down once when I was having a bout of Hershey Squirts.
Anyone else experience this?

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Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

nope.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Nine, have you tried wiping and tossing the paper over the divider? Works better than a grenade, and I've tried both.