If you could design your dream bathroom using aspects from other parts of your home, what would they be?

Posted 09.16.2009 by Postman (839)
Kitchen: So I can get a drink while I make my stink.
7% (19 votes)
Living room: So I can play X-Box while spewing little green men.
30% (86 votes)
Home theater: So I can be entertained while I do my duty.
40% (117 votes)
Bedroom: pooping makes me sleepy.
8% (22 votes)
Other - tell us what other household items you wish you had in your bathroom.
16% (46 votes)
Total votes: 290
wonderpance (679) -- 09.16.2009

i'd love to have a tv in the bathroom. but i'd probably spend way too much time in there if i did.


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i love poop.

Deja Poo (1092) -- 09.16.2009

It might be nice if it were turned into an aviary. I'd fill the place with canaries so that I would know when the atmosphere had grown sufficiently toxic.

Otherwise, I wouldn't change a thing because I like my bathroom the way it is. I have no desire to eat or drink while setting on the crapper and I'm not really there long enough play on the XBox or to watch a movie. Just me and the Quran.
_______
Yo quiero Taco Bell.

ChiefThunderbutt (3194) -- 09.16.2009

I had to vote other. I am basically a pretty fast pooper and like to get out of the fumes as fast as possible although if I installed a hooker for blumpkins I would probably stay a little longer.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

phatmanxxl (532) -- 09.16.2009

a circular room with spot lights aimed towards a golden crapper on a pedestal. kinda like a shrine or something.

Bilgepump (2903) -- 09.16.2009

I'd modify a swing from the neighbor's back yard, so that I can play dive bomber on the actual bowl. Gonna have to get a pretty tolerant house keeper, though, until the bomb site gets zero'd in.

_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Mrs. Mad Crapper (1155) -- 09.16.2009

I'd modify the toilet to recliner status so that I could relax whilst I shat. I hate sitting straight up forever while crapping, my feet always fall asleep and when I get up I almost black out.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

ShitStormTrooper (7) -- 09.16.2009

What else would I have in my throne room? A COMPUTER DESK!! :D

daphne (4594) -- 09.17.2009

Why, I'd make it like the library, of course.

Shhh, I'm reading.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Pantload (92) -- 09.17.2009

Classical guitar w/ stand.

What's so funny 'bout poop, love, and understanding?

Thunderbox (1504) -- 09.17.2009

I`d install a set of patio doors so that I could cast a line into the river and catch some trout while sitting on the pan.

Blond Mullet (581) -- 09.17.2009

How about a classical guitarist?
Having Yngwie J Malmsteen there to shred for you while you doo your thing...
_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

prarie doggin (4057) -- 09.17.2009

Not a bad idea BM. If Yngwie would also groom the stool between sets I'd hire him.

Poopsy McGee (240) -- 09.17.2009

Other. I really don't want my bathroom to be anything other than a bathroom. I do, however, want one of those fancy new Japanese toilets with so many amenities it requires a control panel to manage them all. The features are including, but not limited to; heating, air conditioning, heated seat, built in bidet function with water temperature you control, hot air to dry your freshly cleaned bum, music, automatic flushing, and a sensor that turns the whole thing on when you walk in the room. Now that is my idea of bathroom bliss.

prarie doggin (4057) -- 09.17.2009

Poopsie, you might want to order the optional PA system that can play "alibi" noises to mask any loud farts.

meowpoo (54) -- 09.17.2009

i'd have to say i'd love a garden. i'd want that too, prarie doggin. what smells?

meowpoo (54) -- 09.17.2009

bilgepump,you probably won't find a maid that can do that job. -- what smells?

Squirty Dirty (12) -- 09.17.2009

It would please me to have a toilet out on my patio. I could enjoy my morning coffee & the sunrise- killing 3 birds with one throne.
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Fold or Wad?

RoboCrap13 (448) -- 09.18.2009

I agree with Daphne. I already have a stack of books on a chair outside the loo.
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You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....

shitwit (619) -- 09.18.2009

I opted for the bedroom. Usually I'm pooped after pooping. Also - it would work great for those moments when I awake from a sound sleep with only about 5 seconds before my ass explodes!

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Nine Inch Log (564) -- 09.18.2009

I want a bathroom with the exhaust fan built into the toilet where it sucks the air down. Anyone ever notice the major design flaw with the whole fan above you thing? It pulls the shit smell UP past your nose. Why not pull it down, and have the fan closer to the source.

_______
Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Great comment! +1 point
Blond Mullet (581) -- 09.19.2009

I had a dream last night.
There I was, parked on the shitter, backing one out, with Yngwie Malmsteen shredding away in front of me. Next thing I knew, a young female raced up to Yngwie and asked for his autograph.
Yngwie just smiled, swung his Strat and batted me off the shitter with it. He then grabbed the girl and stuck her head in the bowl.
Thats when I realised that the fan had hit the shit...
_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

ChiefThunderbutt (3194) -- 09.19.2009

Great comment BM......I think the pun is the highest form of humor. Most Japanese humor fails miserably when translated into English for the simple reason that so much of their humor is based on puns.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

sittingpretty (2412) -- 09.19.2009

I othered as I would pick the entertain.ent and the bedroom. When the sick poos make me sleepy when I poo I can sleep between wipes. When I'm not sleepy I can watch movies.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Lame comment! -1 point
meowpoo (54) -- 09.20.2009

gollee some people. shitwit what is with your signiture? do you like heavy metal or something?-- what smells? shit!

Postman (839) -- 09.20.2009

I like what Chief said about the hooker. Put me down for one of those.

Stankenstein (not verified) -- 09.20.2009

I'd play my guitar. Hey! I sing in the shower. Why not on the throne? Then again maybe I should just stick to reading my fart book.

Frank2401 (204) -- 09.22.2009

I voted for other. My perfect bathroom would have all of the above. I guess just a house with a toilet in the center.

poopy poo poo19 (not verified) -- 09.22.2009

i take a bottle of ibuprofen, a half galon of orange juice pop a squat on the crapper and let the fun begin

Bran Lover (676) -- 09.22.2009

Movies on demand! Yes! Add a Wii attachent too. I want to play Animal Crossing and not miss a birdwing. I can't get a birdwing! I know it flies by every time I have to go to the bathroom!!! (Could this Animal Crossing addiction be taking me away from PoopReport????)

PS, knock down one wall and put in a Starbucks. Granda Mocha Latte, please!
_______
To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

Captain Craptastic (146) -- 09.23.2009

Hmmmm, adding other household amenities to the bathroom. Nope! Kind of like separation of church and state, the bathroom needs no mingling with other rooms and their respective functions. Certainly wouldn't want any kitchen items in there, eating and pooping don't mix (though one leads to the other).

Watching TV or Internet on the shitter, not that either. I wouldn't be paying attention to video screens while wiping, busy concentrating on the important things. Imagine trying to keep living room carpet in the bathroom clean in a man's house: impossible thanks to masculine traits of peeing while standing (and not 100% on target).

As for bedroom stuff, it would be hard to think about sleeping while the greenish brown stench cloud of fresh turd lingers in the air.

So, I'll keep the shitroom just as it is: simple, functional and efficient. Thanks for crapping, er, asking....

----Captain Craptastic!!!

big doodyhead (not verified) -- 09.24.2009

I would like to have my balcony be my bathroom, so I could smoke a cigarette while I make a duty without further stinking up the place.

Lady Caca (not verified) -- 09.25.2009

I'd have a rollercoaster installed in the bathroom with multi-purpose cars that also functioned as a toilet seat. There would be a secret entrance in the bathroom floor where the rollercoaster would prepare for takeoff. The track would extend from the privacy of my own bathroom through an underground network of septic tunnels and the coaster would be powered by odor. The Odor Motor, I would call it.

Therefore, so long as you're still releasing waste, the coaster is perpetually moving. So if you're pregnant, have arm/neck/back injuries, and faint of heart, I would advise you from taking a shit in my bathroom. Take a hike to your nearest convenience store or McDonald's, because I wouldn't want to face a lawsuit.

sittingpretty (2412) -- 09.25.2009

I would also add a breezyseat and a bidet.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Quinroxanne (4) -- 09.29.2009

I love to poop with TV while I'm doing it.
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colon cleanse, colon health, colon disease

rrhoids (not verified) -- 09.30.2009

For starters a phone; seems like whenever I'm waiting for a phone call, they wait til I can't hold out anymore and call when I'm in the can. Next, some sort of speak to type program so I can make to do lists in there Lastly, perhaps a recorder so that I can send annoying people (hello father of my children) the amazing noises that sometimes happen in that room.

sharty shorts (4) -- 11.28.2009

Well I'd want music of course. You could have a motion sensor by the door that activates some stereo system as you walk in. If you wanted, you could also have a big LCD display hooked up to a computer that would navigate to a featured You-Tube video. You-Tube videos are all < 10 minutes, so you could watch most of it in the bathroom.

ChiefThunderbutt (3194) -- 11.29.2009

sharty shorts.....I like your music idea...when I win the powerball lottery I plan on hiring a string quartet to entertain me while I unleash my daily load. They will be well payed but will have to furnish their own gas masks.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

OutdoorPooper (33) -- 11.29.2009

My dream bathroom - A single toilet in the middle of a room. No windows, No mirrors, No sink....just a toilet. When I sit down on it the track lighting from who wants to be a millionaire and that epic music focuses just on me. The ultimate "thinker" pisition. But no midget named regis is asking me questions. Thats kinda weird.

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