Several of my co-workers and I have been pondering a question for some time now, but still have not reached an answer. So I've decided to consult the panel of experts here at PoopReport.

We have a co-worker (for lack of a better term) who is obsessed with her overly long fake fingernails. I would guess her nails are easily two or three inches in length. So our obvious question: how the heck does someone with nails like that wipe her ass? We tend to envision her ass crack looking as if a pissed off mountian lion was released in her pants.