Dear Poopreport,
I have been a long time reader of PoopReport, and have enjoyed it. However, I have a question to ask of the normals here: Dave, Doniker, Ass Phlegm, and others. In your own personal opinion, what makes a good poop story? What are the minimum requirements to make poop story good?
For me, a good and interesting poop story is all in the delivery. I enjoy reading new, inventive and creative ways that describe the sight, sounds and smells of shit, the thoughts of the shitter, and all that's goes along with his experience.
Be it a simple story of a rough pooping experience, a strange crapping phenomenon or an extreme case of bodily abuse, as long as the story is true and the author expresses his genuine thoughts and feeling it will be great.
There are many things I consider when I decide to enter a submission for Poop Report. Everyone has different tastes and their own interpretation of what is entertaining and of value, but I think most PoopReporters would agree with my general components as follows:
- Write from self experience. This is a very important rule I follow.
Not many people enjoy reading fabricated stories, which are usually easy
to see through and can insult the reader. Your own thoughts and views
will be well received as opposed to what you think someone wants to read.
- Wit & Humor. I like to make my submissions humorous and interesting
to the reader. Sometimes I will use a little creative license to make a
submission more enjoyable. That's my personal preference though. Other
posts can be informative or educational. Either way, creative writing
does have its advantages of engaging the reader. I have noticed that if
you have a knack for low brow humor, most people enjoy it.
- Submit posts that you yourself would enjoy. Put yourself in the
readers shoes. What would interest you? What type of posts would you most
likely respond to? This is something I have tried to do and I have not
received a negative reply yet.
- You can't please everyone. Realize that not every one who reads your
submissions will look at it in the same light. Like I said before,
everyone's different and you should be prepared for all types of replies.
It goes with the territory.
- The Forums [3]. Not all material is meant for front page status. You may have short stories, intriguing questions, interesting facts or just plain ol' comments. Check the forums to see if there is a category that best fits what you would like to say. The participation is just as enjoyable and it's a great way of communicating with other PoopReporters.
These are just my opinions, and of course the ultimate decision of what you submit is up to you. You need to develop your own guidelines by reading past stories and submissions and decide what's best for you. If you come across as genuine and speak from a stance most people can relate to, your post will probably be successful.
Also, don't forget that submissions are not limited to written verse. A lot of my contributions are art & cartoons. Whatever medium you feel best expresses yourself.
Not many people know this, but my favorite section on this site is Intellectual Crap [5].
When I started PoopReport, I created it as a place to share funny poop stories. But more importantly,
I really wanted to explore the intellectual ramifications of poop. Yes, poop has intellectual ramifications.
So experiments, social conjecture, economic theory -- all those things get me going. I really want
to see more of that.
But as far as a regular old dude-craps-his-pants story, I look for a story that draws a greater
conclusion about society, or attempts to come to some sort of moral. Mastercrapper [6] is the
master at that. His stories don't just relate his fecal misadventures, they do so in a way
that makes you think about stuff.
Also, like the other guys, I look for craft. A unique style, a wacky new poop euphemism,
or at least a coherent grasp of the English language -- people sometimes complain I edit too
much. Well, go back and brush up on basic grammar and I wouldn't have to.
And for the record, I don't put up a poop story unless I'm pretty confident it's true. Some sound
unbelievable, but that doesn't mean they're false. It's a strange world, and our stomachs
do messed up things.