I used to work at a Public Television Station that was located in the community college I attended. I worked 6 hour shifts mostly on weekends from 6am to noon when the college buildings were mostly empty. As a student, I was supervised by an "engineer". I dreaded my weekend shifts because not only did I have to watch the worst programming on PBS but I also had to work with Pat.

To say that Pat was a large man would be a gross understatement. Pat was enormous! He weighed in at around 500 pounds, I guess. Although, when people are that big it gets really hard to estimate because their physical proportions are skewed. Now, before you start to think I'm bashing large people, I'm not. I'm just trying to give you the big picture surrounding a freightening poop story. Plus, Pat was a dick.

Well, Pat ate like crazy and as a result, he shit like crazy. During a 6 hour shift he'd down two 2-liters of Mountain Dew, a big bag of potato chips, and two 12 inch subs. Then, he'd ask me to go to the vending machines and get him some candy. He'd give me a short list (Snicker's, Nutty bars, etc.) and a couple bucks. The vending machines were up one flight of stairs, and Pat was pretty imobile. So I enabled him.

Anyway, Pat stunk like shit!!! I worked there for 2 years and only ever saw him wear two shirts. He had a blue t-shirt and a green t-shirt which weren't washed very often.

Whenever I'd take a leak in the men's room I was always taken back by the shit odor. It was an intense, almost musky odor that I cannot forget. Since the college was empty on the weekends, I figured Pat had to have just left the bathroom and that I was smelling post-aromatic remnants. Eventually, I began using the bathroom on the second floor because Pat was unable to contaminate them.

In talking to the janitors that cleaned the bathrooms at night, I learned that their nickname for Pat was "The Shitter". You see, Pat was apparently too large to wipe his own ass. Instead he used the stall wall as a rubbing post for his turd-encrusted ass. The poor janitors had to spray down the wall and scrub with disinfectant.