When I used to work at a wastewater treatment plant I had to clean and maintain the sludge pumps. Occasionaly, condoms and stuff would clog up the pumps and they'd lose suction. I had to go in there, shut 'em down and open them up to remove the debris.

The stuff inside was a black and slimy watery liquid. It had a terrible smell because of anerobic decompostion (much worse than aerobic). Once you open the access plate you stick a screwdriver in there and dig out the condoms.

Normally, you can release the pressure through a valve, but on that day it wasn't working. My boss was showing me a "special trick" to get the job done. His special trick backfired on him as he unbolted the access plate and was sprayed with pressurized liquid poo. He was drenched from his head to his waist. He then took off his shirt and wiped the shit from his mouth and eyes and continued to work. He got sprayed about 5 more times as he showed me his little "trick."

We didn't have showers at the plant and even though the guy only lived 5 blocks away, he didn't go home to shower. No, he spent the whole day smelling like shit. The next day I could still smell him. That foul stench permeated his pores like garlic.

If you want to know this smell you can recreate it at home, here's a simple recipie:

1. Get a small bucket or pan and place it under the trap of your bathroom sink.
2. Using a wrench carefully remove the trap below the sink. It will be full of water, so open it carefully allowing the water to fall into the bucket.
3. Once the trap has been removed stick your finger inside the pipe and rub it around in the grease that accumulates on the surface.
4. Smell your finger.

   NOTE: If you don't want this smell to stick on your hand for 3 days regardless of how often and how vigorously you scrub them. use a latex glove.

5. Enjoy!

-- Chip Brown [1]