The Pootique

[1]

POOP CULTURE | $10.13 plus S&H on Amazon (cheap!)
After three years of effort, it's exploding
all over the literary scene.

[2]	[3] [4] [5]

T-SHIRTS | $13
When you're wearing PoopReport, people notice. And then
they give you lots of personal space.

THE SKATOLE SHIRT
To scientists, skatole [6] is C9H9N. To PoopReporters, it's the molecule that makes poop stink. Get the whole story about these *scientifically accurate* t-shirts here [7].

• Choose brown, khaki, or white
and select your size and [8]
caption below [9]

Thanks to Mark of Stain for the idea, and Bunga Din, Di Uhreea, Wonderpance, and Prarie Doggin for the captions.

YO, FUCK THAT SHIT
Not quite what you meant to say, is it?

• Choose brown, khaki, or white
and select your size below [10]

OVERHAND VS. UNDERHAND
It is the biggest debate of the 21st Century. Here's your chance to choose sides.

• Brown, khaki, or white
• Carefully select overhand
or underhand below [11]

THE COFFEE CONTINUUM
It's the inevitable progression.

• Choose brown, khaki, or white
and select your size below [12]

THE EVOLUTION OF MAN
A million years of human history condensed into a single t-shirt.

• Choose brown, khaki, or white
and select your size below [13]

WEIRD SHIT GOING DOWN
What monster lurks in your bathroom?

• Choose brown, khaki, or white
and select your size below [14]

THE SHAMELESS SHITTER SHIRT
Join the brown revolution!

• Choose brown, khaki, or white
and select your size below [15]

TEED OFF TURD
"Why WOULDN'T you buy my &#*!@ shirt??? Asshole."

• Choose brown, khaki, or white
and select your size below [16]

[17]

10 STEPS OF POOPING
& THE POOPREPORT LOGO
These are the classics. Every wardrobe should have them.

• Choose brown, khaki, or white
and select your size below [18]

[19]

POOPING STATUS CERTIFICATES | $5 color; $2 b&w
Each certificate is signed and authenticated by Dave, editor of PoopReport.
All certificates are nicely printed on nice paper, suitable for framing.

SHAMELESS SHITTER CERTIFICATE
They stroll to the bathroom with a newspaper under their arm and a grin on their face... you know they'd love a certificate on their wall.

SHAMEFUL SHITTER CERTIFICATE
We all poop. But, for some reason, this person is really embarassed by it. This certificate helps them realize that they're not alone.

OFFICIAL POOPREPORTER CERTIFICATION
When your friends ask if you really wrote that poop story, this is how you prove it.

( click for bigger images )

[22]

POOP BUSINESS CARD HOLDER | $7
The perfect gift for those stuck in shitty jobs. Hand-painted. Seriously!

POOP POWER STICKER | 4 for $2
Get the symbol of the brown revolution!

BUMPER STICKER | 4 for $2
Be proud! Be loud! Discourage tailgaters!

TANK TOPS, BABY TEES, BEER MUGS, ETC \| *(cafepress.com [24])* PoopReport has partnered with Cafepress to offer loads of good stuff. A coffee mug! A baby's bib! A THONG??!?
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Payment is through PayPal. PayPal let's you use your credit card. Even if you don't have an account, it takes like two minutes to set up. So as long as you have a credit card, you're all set. Please allow a week for non-rush delivery. Questions? [27]

SHIPPING NOTE: Stickers, shirts, certificates, and Journals are all shipped by Dave. Business card holders, however, are shipped by a separate supplier. If you order business card holders AND any other product, you will be charged twice for shipping -- once for Dave, once for the business card supplier.