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Alchemy.......an Irish method

Postby Thunderbox on Feb 25 2012 11:15 am

What can one say. Alchemy and the various attempts of turning substances into gold by transmutation or otherwise has been well known for many centuries.

Most attempts were fairly reasonable, considering ignorance of chemical reactions in the past (we`re talking 400 hundred years ago at least) involving bizarre chemical processes and all manner of inert metals.

But up comes our Irish friend Paul Moran (or should that be Moron)?

Paul admitted in a recent court case in Northern Ireland that he was a bit of a drug addict in the past, but his barrister confirmed that Paul was a man of the utmost intellect.

Paul`s method of transmutation concerned him laying his freshly dropped turds on top of an electric heater in his home. This drying out process, he was convinced, would turn his waste product into a little gold.

Unfortunately when turds dry out quickly they turn into a kind of tinder. Paul`s flat caught fire.

He was arrested and charged with arson and endangering the lives of other flat owners. He is now serving three months in jail.

Must be the first case ever of being jailed for trying to turn turds into gold :lol: :lol: :lol:

He is Irish, though :-?


http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/ ... 66385.html
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Re: Alchemy.......an Irish method

Postby ChiefThunderbutt on Feb 25 2012 3:36 pm

Silly Irishman, you don't make gold by incinerating turds, that's the way you make diamonds!
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Re: Alchemy.......an Irish method

Postby prarie doggin on Feb 25 2012 3:43 pm

No Chief, diamonds need pressure too. You need to squeeze the turd in your ass cheeks while sitting on a radiator.

I'm surprised I had to tell you that.
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Re: Alchemy.......an Irish method

Postby blind mullet on Feb 25 2012 4:34 pm

:-0
So THATS how its done!!!

I'm on my way out to the shed now. I'm going to take a turd or two, put 'em between two pieces of 4"x4" x 1/2" steel plates, (sort of a turd-on-steel sandwich), set it up in the bench vise and heat the lot with an oxy torch.
By this time next week I should be a millionaire! :D

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Re: Alchemy.......an Irish method

Postby prarie doggin on Feb 25 2012 5:38 pm

blind mullet wrote:By this time next week I should be a millionaire!


Not quite sir.

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Re: Alchemy.......an Irish method

Postby ChiefThunderbutt on Feb 25 2012 8:59 pm

Watch out for robbers! Both of you!

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