[Dr. Strangeturd]

My friends, it has been a while, since my last post, I have entered the realm of "The Executive Bathroom."

I'm not an executive, but I am moving up the food chain of employment, and with that there are benefits. Free Health Insurance, 3 weeks of vacation, free education, and the executive shithouse. This place is on par with some of the nicest golf courses I've ever played.

Imagine opening a nice solid oak door with a simple "GENT'S" sign on it, with a gold handle. Not a knob, but one of those handles that you see on the front doors of some houses.

Upon entering you would be treated to shiny hardwood floors in front of you, with a white marble sink to the left. 2 basins with the built in soap dispensers with that foamy shit in them. Behind the sink is a mirror that has some designs etched on the sides. Several towels rest on a stand next to the sink, with a laundry basket to the side. More towels are in a cabinet in the stand and every day they are swapped out by our amazing cleaning lady. Yeah, she rocks.

On your right there is a small black leather sofa, a 2 seater. Real nice and soft, it is very good if you're waiting on a stall, which rarely happens, but I like to sit on it. Beside of it is another little stand is a phone. A phone in the shitter? Why? Hell if I know. I don't use it. I usually just sit there and finish reading the paper.

So back to the room, straight ahead is a magazine rack!!! Normally had a few copies of CADalyst, 2 local newspapers, my current Guitar World and a few others including Playboy! The stalls are made of oak, extending from the floor to 7 feet above the ground. Doors are also oak, wih gold hardware. It's sweet.

The first stall is a basic sparkling white urinal, with the auto flush feature. Stall 2 is a normal shitter, but it does have a cushioned seat. Nice feature. Not autoflush, nice as well.

The second is the typical handicrapper, it seems to be a good bit higher than the other toilet. maybe 6 or 8 inches. It has the normal handrails on both sides, gold color as well. Also has the cushioned seat. This one does have autoflush which I hate, but it was designed so a handicapped person wouldn't have to fuck with flushing. I understand. It's nice and roomy and gives you more than enough room to stretch out and have a poop.

It's sweet and I enjoy pooping there, I try to plan my BM's during the week to the executive shitter.

[Mighty Dyckerson]

Sounds lovely. Is there an attendant standing by to wipe your ass for you?

[dave]

Is access to this written into your new contract? Or did somebody take you aside and whisper you the good news? And what's it like when you run into other people in the bathroom -- do you all laugh about how the poor people on the lower floors have to crap?

[prarie doggin]

Are the stalls extra wide? I know that the rich and powerful like to spread their feet apart when taking a shit.

[Thunderbox]

Superb bathroom, Dr S - but I think I`ll stick to shitting in our 5 foot by 3 foot so-called bathroom at work and take the 7 weeks holiday I get to make up for it.

[wonderpance]

that sounds very nice!

good to see you, strangeturd! i do hope you'll be sticking around.

[Sargent Pooper]

Wow... Sounds like a really nice place to take a shit. Congrats.

[Dr. Strangeturd]

Is access to this written into your new contract? Or did somebody take you aside and whisper you the good news? And what's it like when you run into other people in the bathroom -- do you all laugh about how the poor people on the lower floors have to crap?

We're in a standalone building, dude, sorry. I do have a fear of running into people there, mainly because it's a unisex bathroom...We only have one receptionist, but she does go in there. I also have a fear of running into a client, or stinking it up before they go in.

I think it's a bit much, really all I need is a good old Furguson.

[Reginald A Smith]

[quote="Mighty Dyckerson"]Sounds lovely. Is there an attendant standing by to wipe your ass for you?[/quote]

Can he do taht himself!

[Coprologist]

It sounds wonderful.

For a much less elaborate but still very pleasant facility, anyone who wants a decent toilet in England should visit a pub of the JD Wetherspoons chain. Many (although certainly not all) of their pubs have exceptionally well-designed toilets with heavy hardwood doors, and excellent urinals and shitting stalls. As many pubs in Britain have pretty disgusting toilet facilities, I am always impressed that a firm that is after all in business to make money can provide what for most people is a luxurious toilet facility, and one that I am sure, passes unappreciated by many of its customers, who are only after cheap drinks. (I am not connected with the firm, just an appreciative customer).