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Roadside Memorials

Postby prarie doggin on Jan 07 2016 6:32 pm

Yes I know you lost a loved one in an accident. Assuming they were not texting or talking on their phone, I'm sorry for your loss, but why the fuck do you feel it necessary to litter the shoulder with your pictures, flowers and candles? Why not have a guest registry while you're at it. It creates a distraction for other drivers just trying to get to work, especially when you invite the whole friggin extended family for an outing in a drainage ditch. You undoubtably cause other accidents. Get over it. We have a place for these things. Where you ask? A cemetary you idiots. I was 10 minutes late for my coffee and bagel stop this morning because of one of these ceremonies. Nice going you inconsiderate bastards. If the state can provide me with a pickup and a Bobcat, I'll remove them all for free. Eat me.
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Re: Roadside Memorials

Postby C Everett Poop on Jan 08 2016 9:55 am

Amen to this flame and a pox on me for not thinking of it first. There is one every ten feet in KA and AZ because they are well known to be a beaner tradition. They are all over Mexico. There are zero in Idaho because we have fucking graveyards.

As a corollary to this flame, those rolling tombstones so popular with our shit colored brethren are also fucked. Where exactly do they go to get a giant decal that says "In loving memory of Quantavious, 1997-2015, shot by de po-po during an armed robbery, but he wuz a goot keeyut and wanted to be a rapper".

When I die, please don't memorialize me on the back window of a primer gray 1979 Monte Carlo with spinner rims and purple downlighting.
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Re: Roadside Memorials

Postby ChiefThunderbutt on Jan 08 2016 10:50 am

They even erect those memorials on the side of the interstates, I pass several on drives to Nashville. I don't know when they change the flowers but I would recommend they do it in the wee hours of the AM. You couldn't pay me enough to stop on the side of I-40 and get out of my car. That would be an invitation for another memorial to be erected.
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Re: Roadside Memorials

Postby Bilgepump on Jan 08 2016 11:43 am

I must disagree...they make excellent targets for me to practice my drive-by skills...depending on windage, I can usually get three shots on target before I'm past it...want to be able to empty full wheel of 44 mag...working up to a full 15 shot mag of 357 sig. Thats if I'm driving as well. Passenger wise, if I can't empty, reload, and empty 2 30 round mags of 5.56 on target, its a bad day...
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Re: Roadside Memorials

Postby prarie doggin on Jan 08 2016 4:01 pm

C Everett Poop wrote:Quantavious,


I received a couple emails from a billing rep of a west coast company I deal with. The guys name was Frumentus. What the fuck.
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Re: Roadside Memorials

Postby Jack Schitt on Jan 09 2016 1:44 am

Bilgepump wrote:I must disagree...they make excellent targets for me to practice my drive-by skills...depending on windage, I can usually get three shots on target before I'm past it...want to be able to empty full wheel of 44 mag...working up to a full 15 shot mag of 357 sig. Thats if I'm driving as well. Passenger wise, if I can't empty, reload, and empty 2 30 round mags of 5.56 on target, its a bad day...

We really need to hang out, Bilge.
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Re: Roadside Memorials

Postby prarie doggin on Jan 09 2016 8:41 am

If you are going to hang with Bilge, I suggest you heed the words of the late Warren Zevon to "bring lawyers, guns and money." That way you'll have weapons, ability to purchase ammo and moving targets.

Hey Jack, I know you are a state road worker in Ca. To the nearest thousand, how many of those memorials have you "accidentally" run over with heavy equipment?
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Re: Roadside Memorials

Postby Jack Schitt on Jan 09 2016 6:59 pm

All of the ones I see around here are usually on city streets. Our freeways are so fucked up, and over crowded, that no one has the balls to set any up with our horrible drivers on the road. If they did, they'd most likely be added to the memorial.
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Re: Roadside Memorials

Postby prarie doggin on Jan 10 2016 9:00 am

Well, I guess you could grab a bouquet from one of them on your way out to pick up a date. Candles also make a nice gift when going to a party.
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Re: Roadside Memorials

Postby prarie doggin on Mar 14 2017 12:15 pm

I think I'll amend my flame to allow roadside memorials strictly for assholes. Captions of "RIP Asshole for texting while driving", "RIP Asshole for going out in a blizzard to pick up some Netflix games" will be required to be displayed. You get my drift (pardon the pun).
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Re: Roadside Memorials

Postby Jack Schitt on Mar 14 2017 7:51 pm

One was put up here in town a couple months ago. Turns out that I knew the guy, hit and run while walking to work in the wee hours of the morning. I still don't know if they found out who hit him.
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Re: Roadside Memorials

Postby prarie doggin on Mar 15 2017 7:08 pm

The mother of three girls that I coached in softball was killed by a hit and run nearby about 4 months ago. Despite a growing reward, no one has been caught or turned in. I cannot fathom doing something like that and running away.
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Re: Roadside Memorials

Postby Jack Schitt on Mar 16 2017 10:50 am

I don't know if it's made national news, but a couple days ago a 5 year old kid was killed in a hit and run in L.A. I just heard on the radio that the driver finally turned himself in.
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Re: Roadside Memorials

Postby prarie doggin on Mar 17 2017 7:21 pm

If the kid was black or Mexican, I'm sure CEP would have had a gem of a reply here. I just can't seem to muster up the insults in a case like this.
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