[prarie doggin]

Don't negotiate with it Mrs MC. Send in the SWAT team for a cell extraction.

[Mrs. Mad Crapper]

It's taken my colon hostage! We're gonna need a hostage negotiator over here!!!!

[themiker]

My poo is telling me I'm eatting way too much beef.

[prarie doggin]

Why, is it brown, hot and greasy?

[Mrs. Mad Crapper]

My poo is telling me to physically harm the next person in Walmart that fucking sneezes in my direction without covering their mouth and nose.

That's my story and I'm stickin to it.

[Thunderbox]

One of these days, Mrs MC, Walmart will finally tip you into full scale insanity .

[vegetarian pooper]

ok mmc...heres a soulution for your constipation problem...eat some taro root..that will unplug you..it tastes good and has fiber.

[Poothagoras]

Being a chemistry afficionado and forever amused by overkill, I prefer copious amounts of Magnesium Citrate.

[Mrs. Mad Crapper]

Interesting little factoid you can buy, at Walmart no less, a 10 FL OZ bottle of Magnesium Citrate for around $1.50. Now take that bottle with it's "pleasing lemony flavor" and give it to your girlfriend who is complaining of being backed up. Giggle while she gags trying to choke down the Lemon Pledge flavored crap that is Magnesium Citrate.Then tell her nothing of the fact that it is a horribly bad idea to try and eat anything or even leave the bathroom after the first shit has taken place. Come in the bathroom numerous times and comment of the horrible stench that is escaping her ass. Reflect later on how you should have mentioned the not eating bit and the fact that you should have been drinking water the whole time. Anyone else ever do that? No, no one just the mister..... I knew it! Oh and if you really want to make her love you even more tell the whole story loudly in the front yard to your neighbors. Bastard.