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And So It Begins

Postby Deja Poo on Jan 18 2016 3:53 pm

So, tomorrow I'm scheduled for my colonoscopy. I'm setting here getting ready to quaff down my first bottle of "bowl prep" medicine. It doesn't smell so bad, kinda like Cherry flavored medicine would. Well, let's see whether the flavor matches up with the smell.

Down the Hatch!!! (1545)

Well, it doesn't taste cherry like at all. It definitely tastes like medicine, not so bad that you gag while drinking it, but sufficiently bad enough that you can't drink it all once.

So, that's the first pint. The medicine comes as concentrate (6 oz) which gets put into a packaged measuring cup with another 10 oz of water. Then, during the course of the next hour, you have to drink at least two more pints of water.

Now we wait. I wonder how long it's going to take for the first assault? And I wonder how it's going to happen?

The first pint of clear water is down. I can still taste the medicine. Blech. I was hoping the first cup of clear water would flush it out.
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Re: And So It Begins

Postby Deja Poo on Jan 18 2016 4:06 pm

So, it's been 16 minutes, and out comes the first squeaker. I'm wondering whether it was there before I started taking the medicine or if it's a result of it.

In any case, I've managed to drink the two additional pints of water. I was thinking about stretching it out over the full hour but decided to get it over with.
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Re: And So It Begins

Postby Deja Poo on Jan 18 2016 4:20 pm

Ooohhh. It's been a half-hour now. The stomach feels like it's filled with concrete. I guess that's what happens when you pour in three pounds of water. The gas is definitely up. I've probably farted a good four or five times. No stench, just noise.

BTW, the gut is starting to gurgle, and I can feel the upper intestine starting to twitch and cramp. I'm pretty sure the storm isn't far off.
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Re: And So It Begins

Postby prarie doggin on Jan 18 2016 4:38 pm

This might be a good time to take a rush hour ride on the Metro to get even with all the Pakis that have made your commute miserable. If not for nothing, it may make a front page story.
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Re: And So It Begins

Postby Deja Poo on Jan 18 2016 5:07 pm

Now there's a thought, PD. I'll see your Curry and raise you a Bowel Prep.

So, it's been a 1:15. So far, I've pissed twice and farted a bunch, but the curtain hasn't gone up on the Big Poop Show.

I suppose this is kind of like torture. The anticipation and waiting are half of the horror.
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Re: And So It Begins

Postby doniker on Jan 18 2016 5:57 pm

Had my first colonoscopy last September.

The whole ordeal is no big deal.

Not even really worth reporting about.

The biggest thing that sucked about it was the $400 or so I had to pay that my insurance didn't cover.
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Re: And So It Begins

Postby Deja Poo on Jan 18 2016 7:31 pm

Yeah, Doniker. I'm thinking this is the Medical Industry's Biggest Practical Joke. "Hey, fellas, let's see how many old white men will not only let us shove a tube up their ass, but will also pay us for the privilege of doing the shoving."

So, it's been 4 hours now. The farting has passed. I've pissed a bunch of times, but still no poop. Maybe the medicine works on the bladder instead of the bowels.

Jeezus, I hope their not planning on stuffing that pipe up my pecker.

Speaking of which, I drive past the Dr.'s office today. I'm hoping that they're installing new cable TV lines in the neighborhoos because out in front of the building, there was one of those huge reels with what looked like 1000' of 3" in plastic flexible pipe.
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Re: And So It Begins

Postby prarie doggin on Jan 18 2016 8:54 pm

I'm pretty sure you have to be totally cleaned out for the procedure and they will do it by any means at their disposal. With modern technology I'm sure the procedure will go smoothly. Just be glad you aren't having it done back in the day when they had to shove a Kodak Instamatic up your colon.
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Re: And So It Begins

Postby Deja Poo on Jan 19 2016 11:45 am

Nice imagery, PD. At least it was an Instamatic, and not a Polariod Land Camera, one of the early "pop up" varieties. Can you imagine losing one of those flash cube bars up your butt?

So, the storm finally arrived at about 8:30. Big deal. Sure, I pissed out my ass three or four times before I went to bed, and then maybe a couple of times afterwards. There was no cramping. The only disturbing part was the brown spray.

I had to take another dose of that stuff this morning. Today it tasted worse, but I still managed to get it down. Seemed to work faster too. I took the first dose at 8:30 and was spray painting the toilet by 10:30.

I will say that this has made me cranky. The normal stuff -- the little, everyday insults -- are really pissing me off. The only part of the procedure about which I'm anxious, is just getting it over with so that I can get back to my life instead of just sitting around waiting to take another dump. The fact that I haven't eaten since Sunday night isn't helping matters any. And we're all trapped inside because it's colder than a witch's tit outside. And, on top of that, the friggin' moving van for the neighbor two doors down is blocking my driveway. I'm half tempted to go out there the next time I have to piss out of my ass and make that moving van look more like a UPS truck.
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Re: And So It Begins

Postby prarie doggin on Jan 19 2016 4:23 pm

Deja Poo wrote:I pissed out my ass three or four times before I went to bed, and then maybe a couple of times afterwards.


So how many times did your wife have to change the sheets? :shocked
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Re: And So It Begins

Postby doniker on Jan 19 2016 5:51 pm

Deja Poo wrote: The fact that I haven't eaten since Sunday night isn't helping matters any. .



I don't know who is doing your colonoscopy.

I was allowed to eat a light breakfast before 9 am on a Sunday.

I then started the cleanout procedure at 6 pm that Sunday.

I took the pipe in my ass at 9:30 am Monday and I was clean as a whistle.

I was at home eating a double cheeseburger with everything on it at 11:30 am Monday.

I hardly missed a meal.
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Re: And So It Begins

Postby Deja Poo on Jan 20 2016 4:27 pm

Well, now that the operation is done, I can honestly say that the anticipation is far worse than the actual procedure. I was still pissing brown out of my ass when I got to the surgical center, so I had to give myself an enema. The Anesthesiologist Assistant was cute. It was kind of nice nodding off while looking at her.

In the end, everything looked good. I did have two polyps excised. No, they didn't put them in a bottle of spirits for me to take home as a souvenir, although I did get some really nice photos of my bowel.

The Propofol didn't upset my stomach, so I had dinner last night. Of course, the bowel prep medicine was still doing its thing, so I got to see my dinner again a couple of hours later.

BTW, I named my two excisions "CEP" and "Loaf Pincher". I couldn't think of two finer fellows more deserving of the honor of having Rectal Polyps named after them.
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Re: And So It Begins

Postby ChiefThunderbutt on Jan 20 2016 6:42 pm

Attention everyone but especially Chunk & Loafpincher. Personal insults are strictly for flames, your comments were out of line and have been removed. Please reread the guidelines on commenting.
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Re: And So It Begins

Postby doniker on Jan 20 2016 7:45 pm

ChiefThunderbutt wrote:Attention everyone but especially Chunk & Loafpincher. Personal insults are strictly for flames, your comments were out of line and have been removed. Please reread the guidelines on commenting.



Thank you.
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Re: And So It Begins

Postby prarie doggin on Jan 21 2016 8:27 am

Well done Chief. You have shown courage, honesty and done what's best for the people you serve here, and followed the law of the land. I can see clearly now why you're not running for President.

All being said, Deja I'm glad you're ok and wish you the best.
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