Farting is funny. Why not share your funny fart stories?

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Re: Am I Blowing Holes in MY Shorts?

Postby prarie doggin on Sep 11 2017 4:27 pm

My grandson let out a huge fart today. I was just about to congratulate him when my daughter said, "that's not a fart". Apparently he's had diarrhea for a couple days now. I just looked at the non-existant watch on my wrist and said, "whoa, look at the time. I'm late for uh er work"
"Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated" - Lou Holtz
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Re: Am I Blowing Holes in MY Shorts?

Postby loaf pincher on Sep 11 2017 4:31 pm

Smart move
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Re: Am I Blowing Holes in MY Shorts?

Postby Deja Poo on Sep 12 2017 4:54 pm

prarie doggin wrote:My grandson let out a huge fart today. I was just about to congratulate him when my daughter said, "that's not a fart". Apparently he's had diarrhea for a couple days now. I just looked at the non-existant watch on my wrist and said, "whoa, look at the time. I'm late for uh er work"

PD, when diarrhea goes on for a couple of days, it's usually called Dysentery. it might be time to take him to the Pediatrician so that he can share the joy with the medical staff.
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Re: Am I Blowing Holes in MY Shorts?

Postby prarie doggin on Sep 12 2017 7:11 pm

All of my kids leaked diarrhea on to me at one time or another, so I guess it's my daughters turn now. He checked out ok at doctor and is on a restricted diet until it clears up. He did have a classic moment for a 2 1/2 year old a few weeks back. While leaving the house with his parents, and with doting relatives hanging around, he decided that he could put his shoes on all by himself. He did a great job, only they were on the wrong feet. When he stood up and realized this he said, "I'm a fucking idiot". I about lost it.
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Re: Am I Blowing Holes in MY Shorts?

Postby tuba cheeks on Jun 10 2018 3:49 pm

Like I mentioned in the mini chat, I revisited the scene of the crime described above and repeated it.

Only this time it was just a single fart as loud as a foghorn. And all the stalls were full, so I had multiple victims! I also can't remember when I've pissed that long or hard.

Since poopreport went on hiatus, I've ripped roughly 4329958643222995543 farts, give or take a few thousand. But who's counting?
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Re: Am I Blowing Holes in MY Shorts?

Postby prarie doggin on Jun 10 2018 5:34 pm

Tuba, I just calculated the number of seconds that PR has been down, and your total comes out to about a fart every two seconds or so. You are truly a champ
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Re: Am I Blowing Holes in MY Shorts?

Postby ChiefThunderbutt on Jun 11 2018 11:32 am

tuba cheeks wrote:Like I mentioned in the mini chat, I revisited the scene of the crime described above and repeated it.

Only this time it was just a single fart as loud as a foghorn. And all the stalls were full, so I had multiple victims! I also can't remember when I've pissed that long or hard.

Since poopreport went on hiatus, I've ripped roughly 4329958643222995543 farts, give or take a few thousand. But who's counting?


During our marriage of 55 years I have heard my wife fart twice, once after a colonoscopy and once in the middle of the night while she was sleeping. On the other hand she has heard me fart so many times that it can't be represented by ordinary numbers, she must use exponential notation.
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Re: Am I Blowing Holes in MY Shorts?

Postby prarie doggin on Jun 11 2018 6:48 pm

I can't vouch for your wife there Chief, but your cat sure farted a few times while I was there
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Re: Am I Blowing Holes in MY Shorts?

Postby ChiefThunderbutt on Jun 12 2018 8:17 am

prarie doggin wrote:I can't vouch for your wife there Chief, but your cat sure farted a few times while I was there


In the words of a man who should know (my veterinarian), "Nothing smells worse than a cat fart." :furz :furz
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