Today was an ordinary day, like most others. Got up, went to work- finished my run, stopped for chow, etc.
Then it all changed.
Having finished for the day, I stopped at my favorite BBQ joint in Northern VA on the way back to the yard. MAN, did I need a piss!! Kinda felt like a shite would be coming soon ,too.
As I got closer to the shithouse, the urge to make mud got stronger and stronger. By the time I was outside the crapper door, my cheeks were squeezed together tight! I pushed in through the door and noticed all the stalls were empty, and there was just one guy draining the lizard at a urinal.
It was just then that IT arrived.
A massive musical fart SO powerful and explosive that I RANG THE FUCKING BATHROOM! Seriously, it was sudden, ear splittingly loud, and it made the entire room resonate. Like an enraged elephant bellowing out a long note. The guy's head snapped around so fast, I thought he was going to piss all over the floor! He just stared at me agape, in stunned silence.
I just shrugged my shoulders, and continued power walking to the nearest stall. Let me tell you- he wasted NO time getting the fuck out of there.
By the time I got there, the urge to crap was gone... I took a long hard piss, and sat down anyway- no sense wasting the opportunity. Eventually, an average sized solid terd pushed it's way out. Kinda anti-climactic...
Later, when I got to the truckstop, I went in for a shower. While undressing I felt the unmistakable urge for another round. All I can say about this is what the actual fuck... I didn't eat much yesterday, and had already dooked. Where the HELL this all came from is a mystery.
I extruded what felt like several feet of soft brown rope, in a looooooooonnnnnnngggggg unbroken POOOOOOOOOOOP. This was interrupted by some rather muddy sounding putt-putt farts, and then more pooooooop. After a pause, another foot or so of cable was extruded, before I was finally done. I now felt several pounds lighter.
Had to stand up and flush before I could wipe, as I was afraid of what the back of my hand would encounter if I reached back there. "Jumpin Jehosaphat - That's a LOT of SHIT!!"" That bowl was mounded up good and proper. The hole in the bottom was full, and it had piled up well above the (now higher) waterline. It flushed alright, but left a galaxy of skidmarks around the bowl for the janitor to admire while cleaning up the room for the next guy.
All in all. it was a good day!