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I made it

Postby prarie doggin on Jun 24 2018 9:58 am

I had just finished driving and was going to drop the truck off at my neighbors shop and walk about 3 blocks home. As I neared town I started to have severe cramps and figured it was due to the antibiotics I was taking for an ear infection. I could have driven the truck to my house and moved it later, but I decided to drop it off. Little did I know I was about to come very close to shitting myself in front of one of my neighbors. I started to walk and the cramps got more severe and were coming in more frequent waves. I wanted to walk faster but that is hard to do when you are holding your sphincter tighter than a rusty bolt. I finally spied my mailbox and felt a sigh of relief. At least if I didn't make it now, I'd crap in my own yard. I quickened my pace toward the front door, and what did I see? My lovely daughter holding my grandson who was waving his hands for me to pick him up and play. I had no choice but to brush them off. I was in the battle of my life. I kissed them both and told my daughter that my ass was about to explode and rushed inside where it literally did, almost before I had sat down. The sound was deafening and the stench burned my eyes. After about 5 minutes, it was over. I never felt so relieved. I felt like I could fly. I went upstairs to see my daughter, but she was gone. Just as I was about to go to see if they had gone to the back yard, I got a text alert. It was from her. All it said was "Eeew"
"Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated" - Lou Holtz
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Re: I made it

Postby Jack Schitt on Jun 24 2018 11:46 am

An actual poop story! Is PR making a legitimate comeback? Glad you made it PD, but it would've been funnier to rest of us if you hadn't. :megagrin
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Re: I made it

Postby prarie doggin on Jun 24 2018 3:20 pm

Sorry I couldn't provide something any better, but I was wearing long pants and the mess would have likely been contained, although walking up to my daughter with turds falling out of my pant legs would have been an winner.
"Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated" - Lou Holtz
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Re: I made it

Postby tuba cheeks on Jun 26 2018 11:02 pm

"Well, honey- do you remember the day Grandpa shat himself on the front porch?"

My ringpiece salutes you for your fine accomplishment, PD. BBBRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAPPPPPPPP!
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Re: I made it

Postby ChiefThunderbutt on Jun 27 2018 2:23 pm

I had a similar incident a few months ago with a worse outcome. I was sitting at my computer in the bedroom when the urge struck. It struck with a relentless pressure that was absolutely unstoppable. I squeezed my cheeks together so tightly that a ten penny nail couldn't have been driven up my ass with a sledge hammer. If it had been a solid turd I think I could have held it but there was no stopping the shit-storm that several days of antibiotics taken for a UTI had caused. There was a bit of leakage as I rushed to the commode. There was considerable stinkage when I finally made it.

Anyone who says they have never shit their pants is a liar.
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Re: I made it

Postby prarie doggin on Jun 28 2018 12:35 pm

I guess people are allowed a little wiggle room on that last sentence Chief. As far as a small bit of escapees in the drawers, I'm sure that everyone has had one. A full blown evacuation in the pants is another thing.
"Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated" - Lou Holtz
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Re: I made it

Postby ChiefThunderbutt on Jun 28 2018 4:23 pm

Ask anyone who served in Vietnam...the Asian Dysentery that was nicknamed the dreaded gombu by those unfortunate enough to have contracted it was unstoppable. An intestinal situation that allows you to bend over and shit through the eye of a needle at fifty feet cannot be contained by mortal muscles. Superman's buns of steel would have a hard time. :-)
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