The simple plan was to go visit my sister and her husband, loose off a few rounds of .22 and .25/303, enjoy a beer or two, talk crap for a while, and go home.
So when I came upon a couple of cars doing well below the speed limit, I looked further ahead and saw a slow-moving 4x4 towing a horse float, with 2 horses on board. I could see the trip being extended by another half hour as this piece of shit combo slowly traversed the gorge road, holding up traffic.
I know this stretch of road fairly well, and there are places to overtake, even if the lines are marked otherwise.
Local knowledge is a handy thing sometimes.
Well, when the opportunity arose, I darted past the 2 other cars that were being held up, so I'm now directly behind the horse float and then, it was just a matter of picking the right moment to dart past the 4x4.
Thats when the gods decided to play a joke on me.
The 4x4 had picked up speed, and was now doing about 50 MPH. I'm also doing 50 MPH, and I'm looking for the last opportunity to pass before we reach the gorge area. I know theres a place, and I'm just getting ready to capitalize on it.
In the space of less than 30 seconds, one of the horses decided to unload it's breakfast, and I have to confess that up to that point I had never seen a horse's arse that close, in the act of unloading.
It's tail went up, it's sphincter opened to probably 6 inches, and the lumpy green shit came out in balls about the size of cantaloupes. Let me say that this was good reason to brake and swerve, as load after load was dumped on the roadway, right in front of us.
Now, horse shit doesn't like being dropped six feet onto a roadway that is travelling by at 50 MPH. In it's natural environment (i.e. a field), a gee gee turd just falls down onto a stationary dirt surface; it spreads out a bit, but thats about where it ends. Not so on a highway. It hits the ground and disintegrates into a wet, green cloud that the poor bastard travelling behind (in this case ME), gets to drive through and have the entire front end of his car speckled.
Tomorrow the car gets it's 6-monthly wash.








