For discussion of the current poop contest.

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Postby EndProduct on Apr 26 2002 7:16 pm

I welcome anyone that thinks they produce sizeable quanties of poop to beat my friends new world record. Nelson (King of Crap)filled and clogged a new 1000 gal. septic tank in less than 10 weeks. This calculates out to approz. 5 turds a day. The content is mostly vegtable matter. The septic company has sucked up the evidence and it is being separted and analyzed for the record. If anyone has a claim that they poop more often with the consistency and quality of this man let them come forward to contest this rectum record.
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Postby Slim Jim Junkie on Jul 19 2004 12:52 pm

Following The Holy Shitter's campaign, I will bump this up.

I do remember suggesting that the 2004 olympics have a shitting contest, judgement would be based on volume, pressure, sound, smell, uniqueness.
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Postby The Big Wiper on Jul 19 2004 2:23 pm

The thing is, Slim Jim, such shitting contests as you describe, take place before every event. Almost all athletes get the 'pre-competition' shits and spend a lot of time cleaning out their bowels before the game, race or performance. Hell, as a major college sports fan, I spend a lot of time on the pot myself before a big game. It's the body's way of allowing you to focus on the competition, itself, (or watching it) and not be distracted by the process of digestion. Thus--dump time.

As a former sportswriter and broadcaster, I remember one amusing but true comment from a fellow writer. He said: "I've been covering football for about twenty years now, and the one thing no one ever talks about is the amount of time the team spends on the toilets in the hours leading up to the game. The players and coaches may not always win the game, but they are rarely full of shit." :D
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Postby dave on Jul 19 2004 2:58 pm

in honor of the upcoming olympics, we SHOULD have some sort of competition. But -- given the fact that PR doesn't show pictures of poop -- what should we do?
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Postby The Big Wiper on Jul 19 2004 3:41 pm

Dave-O: have a contest in which poopers submit clever names for Olympic events that are poop or pee-related takes on established sports. If I give an example, that will be one less entry for me. :lol:
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Postby The Holy Shitter on Jul 19 2004 3:46 pm

What if we simply post the results of the games? They would of course have to be verified by a witness or maybe even a notary.

We could create our own "Poolympics". Some of the events could be:

Marathon (How long can you go without shitting?)
100 Meter Dash (12 hours after eating Taco Bell)
Biscuits (like the discus, except we would toss cow patties)
Synchronized Shitting (a true team sport)

See if you can come up with some more...
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Postby The Big Wiper on Jul 19 2004 3:59 pm

We did have this thread last year:

http://www.poopreport.com/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=1334
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Postby dave on Jul 19 2004 4:08 pm

well, what's a realistic event? A competition that would involve tens of PoopReporters in disparate locations, and would hopefully avoid actual pictures of poop.

It doesn't NECESSARILY have to involve poop -- it could be wiping techniques, or...?
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Postby daphne on Jul 20 2004 4:47 pm

Picture phone scavenger hunt.

That can't be bad. In fact, it could be our "defecathalon". Ten pictures of things you would find in certain poop related places. Septic companies, etc.
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Postby Turd Hugegrunt on Jul 21 2004 2:45 pm

The Big Wiper wrote:Dave-O: have a contest in which poopers submit clever names for Olympic events that are poop or pee-related takes on established sports. If I give an example, that will be one less entry for me. :lol:


You mean like "DISCUSting throw" or "hamMERDE toss?"

Or how about "POOP vaulting" and "long DUMP?"
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Postby daphne on Jul 21 2004 3:27 pm

The Greece Merdethon.
Hehe.
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Postby The Big Wiper on Jul 21 2004 4:35 pm

TH, your post above pretty much illustrates what I had in mind for the poopy/punny events. This site has plenty of creative contest-minded people, judging from the past few years. But they especially come out of the water closet when Dave-O makes the contest official and offers minty asswash, wet wipes or some cutting-edge bathroom product as a prize. Hey, nothing in the world like PR, folks. Our kind of place. :D
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Postby Turd Hugegrunt on Jul 22 2004 1:25 pm

If the prizes don't include an official PR Turdbuster stick, I ain't in.

Pieces in the Potty. TH.
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Postby daphne on Jul 22 2004 4:57 pm

Can we submit the ones we've already posted? I think we should.
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