[dave]

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What happens next? If you are a poop who just escaped from the toilet bowl, on a philisophical quest for a greater purpose in life, what's the first thing you would do?

[Pooperscooper]

I've been a Catholic. I've been a peace activist. I tried to be a scientist and couldnt get past the math part. (Damn!) Now I am a Zen student.

Through trial and error, I can only suggest this: if you experience a deep sense of connection to other people, others beings, to your part of the world, with the whole world, then the meaning of life takes care of itself. It is precisely those of us who feel dis-connected who are most distressed by lack of meaning in life.

Therefore Teed Off Turd is condemned to be an existentialist philosopher. How does a turd come into existence? By dis-connected with the Point of Origin!

The aspect of mind that asks 'What is the meaning of life?' cannot answer its own question. The question can be put in words. It cannot be answered in words, only by living life itself. Teed off turd must float down the river and ask, and thereby connect with others...

[dave]

I've been thinking about this as well. The fact is, TOT's quest for meaning in life is no different than any of ours. Some choose religion, some choose zen, some choose to build an online poop empire. I think TOT will be a good jumping off point to have some really fun poop-philosophy cartoons.

But let's see. What does one do after one has discovered there's no meaning to life? I would get shit-faced. Perhaps that's what TOT should do.

[ass_phlegm]

Personally, I think he would try out the obvious ventures; try to get a job, be a hero, religion? Just to prove to himself that he is good for something (ultimately leading to failure because, after all, people see him as a piece of shit!) . That's where I think the funny shit would come in. Of course, after that comes the quest for "being". Running into other funny characters with the same baron existence, but lacking the motivation of TOT would be my guess for the next scenerio. Maybe a partner. A used syringe?

Just some thoughts.

[G Ras]

Perhaps TOT should do what most unemployed, forever questing, reprobates should do... join a band!!
We all know about shitty gigs, shitty songs, shitty drummers (venting... sorry) He could be a great player but his band mates have a problem with his aroma...

does he ever shit... what's that like? Can he drive a car? Does he like women? Can he read? does he philosophize? is he rude or polite? will he wear clothes? when people meet him, will they immediately be disgusted by his stench or will he be able to build relationships... perhaps a sidekick? will he try drugs and alcohol? is he eligible for welfare? does he have a dick? where will he live? does he eat? is he literate? can he shave?

maybe he could visit other countries, wear the clpthes and observe the customs... there is so much shit to write about... great job man ... keep it up

[dave]

I like the idea of him trying to be a super hero. After all, he's a turd that can think, and talk, and hop... it would be obvious for him to have immediate delusions of granduer.

Maybe he goes somewhere, like a dark alley, brooding, and accidentally interrupts a crime in progress. The very fact that he's a poo disgusts the criminal, and he has immediate delusions of grandeur that he's a super hero... and through a brife series of misadventures, he will realize that he's most certainly not.

[Che]

i think the first place he should go is the Wastewater Treatment Plant (or "Turd Factory", as i call it). have you ever been to one of these places? i went on a tour for a class in college. they're pretty disgusting. and if you're a turd, it's a scary, nightmare of a place.

i say TOT goes there on a mission to sabotage the Turd Factory and attempt to rescue as many other like minded turds as he can before they perish. just like The Matrix!

oh, and as far as a sidekick goes, after visiting a real Turd Factory, i can tell you he would more than likely end up with a used tampon or a bloated, semen-filled condom tied in a knot.

[dave]

Che -- that's awesome. At first I thought that should be the last place he goes -- because that's the very place he wants to avoid. I don't think he should go there right away... but once he's developed enough to realize what is REALLY happening at the treatment plant, then he should go on a mission of liberation. you're right-- I could see a great matrix parody.

[Chip Brown]

It could be like Schindler's List (os Shit). The wastewater plant represents a deathcamp for turds. Essentially, the goal of the wastewater plant is to destroy turds turning them into treated water, fertilizer and "grit".

TOT could help lead the revolution. All revolutions begin with the development of a group awareness. This includes reveling the other turds who have resigned themselves to there own demise. TOT shows other turds that through social action, they can re-invent their own reality and drive their common future. Once this has occured, TOT's leadership will spur and direct the final assault and the treatment plant will reverse operations, sending shit spraying back into the homes through the toilets. Then the turds take over like in Planet of the Apes.

[G Ras]

An army!!! awesome .... he could gather an excellent band of feculent followers that could sabotage everything we hold sacred.

Maybe some of the cast could based on their consistency... you know like a real butch Sgt. Rock dude... hard like steel, from a constipated ass... or a soft, weak but brilliant McGyver like turd. Different colors and smells that they use to their advantage in their quest for equal rights!!

I am thinking of old army movies... everybody is different and has a special skill. Maybe a shit freak that TOT uses as a snitch... so he has access to humans. Give them funny names like "Spike" for a pinched off pointed poop or "Rock", "Lumpy" ... you know that kind of shit. This thing could get big if it is done well... this site is getting bigger than I ever thought it would and could become a great launch pad for a variety of things.

[Di Uhreea]

Just under a year ago.....

Was just revisiting here to see who came up with the used tampon idea.
Thanks Che!

[poonurse]

It's like The Matrix, only for turds....