[dave]

So what happens next? We all know that he's not a super hero... unfortunately, the poor bastard has to figure that out. How does it happen?

[The Big Wiper]

How 'bout he gets a gun and shoots his corn kernels out of it? Down go the evil-doers, one by one, taken out by the most impervious, impossible-to-digest objects in the whole damn universe! Whaddayathink?

BTW, Ass Phlegm--your 10 Stage Tee Rocks! Wore it out in public the first time yesterday and sent Dave a story on my adventures.

Teed Off Turd is so righteous! Stink on, brothers! TBW

[mastercrapper]

BRAVO! Ass-Phlegm, that is some FINE work!!

[ass_phlegm]

Thanks Big Wiper, Master. I am here merely to try and entertain you! Glad you like the shirt.

So, TOT thinks he's a superhero. Such illusions of gradure. I think he needs a reality slap. What do you think? What could happen to TOT that would remind him he is NOT a hero and set him back on his quest for purpose? I'll looking forward to the ideas...let's have 'em!

[the_brown_word]

Why you gotta make the mugger black, huh?

Whussup wit dat?
Umm, I dont know if t.o.t. is DELUDING himself, per se... But I DO think the common reaction would be horror, even though if I saw t.o.t. on the street, I'd kidnap him and take him home. YAY! I loves me some talkin poo logs.

[The Big Wiper]

Well, ass-phlegm, if you truly don't want him to be a Superhero with a Corn Kernel Gun or Peanut Pistol (see my response on the Home Page), then a few alternatives did occur to me.

1) He's a pretty 'solid' dude right now. But we all know that turds don't have much of a shelf life, so to speak. They start to break down and fall apart anyway. But what helps them along when they plop into the pot ordinarily? W-A-T-E-R. So, T-O-T could encounter a little precipitation right in the middle of his bravado. "Errr...yikes...what's that?" he might say, looking up into the sky as he corners a street punk. Big drops splash down upon him. He experiences a little runoff, if you will.

T-O-T is suddenly half the man he was. A few corn kernels float away, n'er to return. The street punk laughs in his face and gets away as T-O-T seeks shelter from the storm. I leave it to your imagination as to what T-O-T will look like after this assault. Flatter? Shorter? Picasso-like features rearranged? You are the artist, my friend, and a damned talented one!

2) What else can put the fear of God into a turd? Ummmm...a big, furry, tongue-panting, sniffing canine! An enormous wet, black nose suddenly enters the edge of one of the frames. At first, T-O-T thinks he can handle the challenge. More of the dog's snout comes into view. This could get ugly, couldn't it? But, hey, dogs eat shit, don't they?

3) With no offense intended to our good friend, pooperscooper, T-O-T could have a run-in with a gigantic hand manipulating an actual Pooper Scooper attempting to remove him, kernels and all, from the streets of the city.

4) T-O-T could be the victim of a shoe. That is, someone steps in him and squishes him into nothingness. More artistic rearrangment is possible here. We could hear the response of the human whose shoe that belonged to in dialogue 'balloon': "Oh, shit! I stepped in shit!" T-O-T could reply: "You don't know the half of it. Or rather, you do know the half of it. Half of me is on the bottom of your shoe!" This scenario has many obvious tangents: T-O-T Meets A Soleful End; T-O-T Done In By A Heel; Someone Steps In It; etc.

Well, ass phlegm, those are my ideas, for what they're worth. Keep up your brilliant work, buddy. TBW

[Di Uhreea]

I had Big Wiper's #4 idea flowing thru my brain.