What can one say. Alchemy and the various attempts of turning substances into gold by transmutation or otherwise has been well known for many centuries.
Most attempts were fairly reasonable, considering ignorance of chemical reactions in the past (we`re talking 400 hundred years ago at least) involving bizarre chemical processes and all manner of inert metals.
But up comes our Irish friend Paul Moran (or should that be Moron)?
Paul admitted in a recent court case in Northern Ireland that he was a bit of a drug addict in the past, but his barrister confirmed that Paul was a man of the utmost intellect.
Paul`s method of transmutation concerned him laying his freshly dropped turds on top of an electric heater in his home. This drying out process, he was convinced, would turn his waste product into a little gold.
Unfortunately when turds dry out quickly they turn into a kind of tinder. Paul`s flat caught fire.
He was arrested and charged with arson and endangering the lives of other flat owners. He is now serving three months in jail.
Must be the first case ever of being jailed for trying to turn turds into gold
He is Irish, though http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/ ... 66385.html