[Poop Shooter]

.....Meanwhile, back in Stewsburg


Dumpster finally got home from out west tracking the Gypsy Rose Volcano and finally rescuing her or her rescuing him, whichever the case may be. He was very tired and just wanted to relax.

As he sat in his easy chair sipping Johnny Walker Red Label flipping channels and catching up on his Poop Reporting, he notices an eery quiet among the house. He knows LD isn't due back for another week, as it's Spring Break and he is at Spring Camp. He ponder for a moment and after taking another slug of Johnny it hits him!!

Hermoine is GONE...................

Dumpster ponders this for awhile. He gets up to take a dump. As he is sitting there on the throne, you know the one..... the one he has been using all his life, from chhildhood to adulthood and beyond, he reaches for the first bit of toilet paper. As he unrolls he sees writing on the roll of tp.

He knows this is unusual and senses somethings up. As he begins to read the handwritten note, unrolling several yards reading the note which is obviously from his beloved Hermoine, he is starting to get the picture. He pinches the last little loaf and reads the final sentence which happens to be on the cardboard roll itself "<i>Goodbye Dumpster, Goodbye -Hermoine"</i>

Since Dumpster has 2 feet of tp at his feet he uses a generous healping and flushes. Ahhhhhhhhh he thinks at the reliability of his Turbo Flush Furguson 6000. "Now That's Power!!!" Dumpster feels relieved (in more way than one) that Hermoine at least left a note.

Dumpster knew things were not going well for the colonically challenged Hermoine. He knew it was only a matter of time before things went awry. He was sad he may never see her again, but hey, there might be more fish in the see for ole Dumpster. He was sad for a minute or less and after shedding one half a tear he bucks it up and a smile comes across his face. He thought of the beloved Hermoine in her rebel flag bikini. Fond memories he had had with her at Brokeback Mountain not so long ago. He knew that was over and over for good!

He heads downstairs and begins to ponder his next move.......

As he is halfway asleep, Dumpster jumps up with memories of days gone by. He has the burning sensation that his old girlfriend Tush is in danger. He has longed for Tush ever since the bathtub incident that ripped them apart nearly 30 years earlier. Even after all his wordly travels and a short stint as a Playgirl model and off Brodway porn star, he still thought of Tush!

Dumpster knew what he had to do. His bags were still packed, so that was a check. He has his new Hyundai all gassed up and ready. He makes a quick call and heads out the door......





<B>What will Dumpster doo? Will he find his long lost Tushy? Will he become a male whore? Will he seek counceling from Wikipedia? Which of his PR friends will he call upon to help him in his quest? Will he run into trouble along the way?</B>



Since the last story of Gypsy Rose volcano went so well, a combined thought came up with this story. Please feel free to write a chapter or two depicting the tales of our one and only DUMPSTER.

[The Dumpster]

Kyrie Eleison! I really AM leaving town in the morning, for several days! Whether what PS writes about had anything to do with it or not, I'll leave up to you.

I shudder to think what will be here when I get back. Oh, well; it can't possibly be any worse than what we did to our dear Gypsy Rose Volcano, so I guess I've got it coming to me.

[Bunghole In the Jungle]

Once settled in his gased-up Hyundai Sonata, Dumpster heads toward the turnpike. An uncomfortable throbbing sensation is sending pulses of what feels like 110 volts of electrical currency along his man tool and he realizes that burning sensation has nothing to do with the fact that Tush is in danger. Dumpster takes the next exit, locates a phone booth and dials the first urgent care number listed in the yellow pages. “Good evening and thank you for calling Dr. Cumagain’s Office” the honey-ed silken voice answers. Struggling to maintain composure after that greeting and all that it implies, Dumpster stammers, “I seem to be having some discomfort and pain emanating from my penis and I was wondering if the doctor has a few minutes to *throat clearing cough* examine me. I’m headed out of town on some rather urgent personal business and I’d like to get this little problem taken care of before I leave.”

[AssBlaster2000]

Dumpster drives like a maniac to get to Dr. Cumagain's office and once he is there the doctor sees him right away.

"Let me have a look at your shaft there, Dumpster." says the doctor. He runs his hands gently up and down Dumpster's tender tube steak and feels a few interesting things.

"This calls for more investigation, Dumpster. I'm going to have to run a COCK scan."

"Oh great." Dumpster thinks. "I'll never get laid." He lays on the table and the doctor shines some sort of red beam all over his weiner. Dumpster swears he's just holding a laser pointer, but keeps his mouth shut. Suddenly, the doctor grabs his left ball -- hard. Much to Dumpster's shock, he gets a giant erection. He muses that maybe whatever's wrong with his tallywhacker isn't so bad after all. Then, the doctor squeezes his right ball abruptly, and the erection subsides. "Story of my life" groans Dumpster.

The doctor scribbles some notes and gives it to Dumpster straight. "Mr. Dumpster, you have been outfitted with a BBHDI (Bunga Brand Human Dildo Implant.) Someone botched the installation and that's what's giving your Johnson all those shocks. However the plus side is that they installed the deluxe model with the controls in the balls, the cheap model is controlled by a finger in the ass. More good news is that I'm also a BBCDI (Bunga Brand Certified Dildo Installer) and I can repair this for you."

"That's all well and good," says Dumpster, "but who in the hell did this to me? Was it Bunga? I never trusted that spastic fucker anyway!"

"It couldn't have been Bunga." replied the doctor. "He would never botch an installation like this. Just lie back and I will fix your one-eyed trouser snake."

Soon enough, the doctor was done, and Dumpster's commander was better than new. However, he had a new mystery on his hands. Who could have put this implant in his Washington Monument, if not Bunga? Should he go back to Las Vegas and investigate this? Or should he just go show Tush the neat trick he can do by squeezing his balls? Should AB2K stop smoking so much crack before writing these serial stories? Tune in later to find out, kids.

[The Dumpster]

NOTE: I wasn't planning to contribute to this story until the very end, but at the behest of Mr. Poop Shooter, its creator, I agreed to have a go at it:

"I'll deal with that dildohead Bunga later," thinks Dumpster. "Meanwhile, I gotta find SOMEBODY to fire this Howitzer for me." So he calls Hermione's cell phone.

"I'm sorry," comes the recorded voice, "you have reached a number that is no longer in service...." Strike one.

So, on with the Tush-quest. Flipping through his trusty black book, he locates her home number, which she had given him the last time they saw each other at a law professor convention.

"Er, 'dis here is 'da Tudball residence," barks an Archie Bunker-like voice from the answering machine. "Neidder I ner Tush can take yer call right now, but ...."

"FUCK," thinks Dumpster. "I forgot Tush was married!" Strike two.

Sadly, Dumpster turns the Sonata around, and heads back to his lonely, empty house. He spends several hours chasing Bunghole in the Jungle and Rat Droppings around on PoopReport, but their cocktease attitude just increases his frustration.

Just as Dumpster, in desperation, is picking up the phone to invite SamDamnit over to watch "Brokeback Mountain" (SERIOUS desperation!!), he is hit with a blinding flash of inspiration, one he knows will change his life for ever:

Kitti!!

[Bunghole In the Jungle]

You're a regular Benny Hill, Dumpster (hey wait, I LOVE Benny Hill).

[Dr. Strangeturd]

As he sat in his easy chair sipping Johnny Walker Red Label flipping channels and catching up on his Poop Reporting, he notices an eery quiet among the house. He knows LD isn't due back for another week, as it's Spring Break and he is at Spring Camp. He ponder for a moment and after taking another slug of Johnny it hits him!!

Yumm.....Johnny Walker Red Label...

Ironically Captain America's real name is John Walker...(one of them anyways)