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Do you grunt and groan while pooping??

Postby Madam Captain on May 28 2005 8:58 am

I accidently posted this in the 'poop stories' section. I meant to post it in the 'general poop' section so here it is:
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Do you grunt and groan while pooping?? Or are you a 'quiet' pooper?? I don't grunt and groan when I'm pooping, I prefer to poo quietly. Even if I'm having trouble with BMs, I still take my dump in silence (apart from when the logs fall into the water) If I'm pushing out a stubborn turd, I will push so hard that I can't hear anything and it feels as if my ear drums will burst. I hold my breath too. I also screw up my face and even close my eyes sometimes. However, as a child, I had chronic constipation and I often grunted and groaned while dropping a load.

I also wondering how often people on these boards get constipated?? What has been the biggest poop you have ever done??
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Postby Tank Girl on May 28 2005 9:10 am

I do recall the occasional crap which I ended up actually kind of "oomphing" it out. More often though I am quiet, save for the great audible sighs of relief that have my husband yelling from the living room "You all right in there, Honey?"
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Postby Poopy mon! on May 28 2005 9:41 am

I often have to grunt to get my craps out, but i try to keep them quiet as possible.
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Postby Madam Captain on May 29 2005 8:51 am

Poopy mon! wrote:I often have to grunt to get my craps out, but i try to keep them quiet as possible.


When I saw your avatar, it reminded me of when I had chronic constipation as a child. That picture of the kid on the toilet was similar to how I must have looked while pushing out a hard, dry turd as a child. I suffered with chronic constipation when I was 6 or 7 and it lasted for over a year. I can remember my Mum suggesting to me that I should grunt and groan while trying to push the logs out. She told me it would help them come out more easily. It didn't really work. I also remember Mum telling me to sit on the toilet and stay there until something came out (preferably poo) but mostly I couldn't get any crap out so I would just do a wee!! When I was older (the constipation had resolved itself by then) I got constipated a few times but I hated telling my Mum. She would always work it out after I didn't crap for a few days. Somehow or other she knew all about my pooping habits and if I didn't go one day she would figure it out!!
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Postby Stench on Jun 01 2005 9:06 pm

I usually don't have "abnormal" such as excessive constipation or diarrhea, but once in a while I'll take a shit and when I'm done it will feel like there's some more that I need to push out. At this point I may grunt a little but as long as I'm not in any kind of public bathroom or where there may be any people around. When I have my house to myself is an example of when I don't mind vocally expressing my shattitude.
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Postby Jobber on Jun 02 2005 6:30 am

Yes! I do big, fat solid formed turds and I will usually grunt when I do a poo. Usually going NN! UH! EH! and OO! as it slowly but surely emerges and grows in length before plunging into the toilet pan with a loud "Kur-sploosh!". Most people I know make some such sounds when passing a solid motion, my big sister and my mother always did so and I would listen to them and came to be able to accurately guess how big their turds were from the sounds of their efforts when passing them and the "Plops!" and"Kerplonks! " when they dropped them into the pan.
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Postby wonderpance on Jun 02 2005 10:47 am

i don't grunt or groan when i poop. not sure why, though.

i also don't get constipated. in fact, i can't recall a time in my entire life that i was constipated. maybe when i was a kid, but i don't remember. i guess i must be pretty lucky in that regard, cuz people on here are always talking about being constipated. my brother used to get badly constipated when he was a kid because of his mega colon (which i've discussed on another thread), and i felt sorry for him because of all the crap he went through because of it. definitely unpleasant.

my poops don't get very big, and i can't even think of one that i looked at and went, "wow! that's a big poop!" my poops are always pretty small in circumference, but they do get kind of long. or, they would if they didn't break off on the way out every damn time. i'd really like it if one of these days i could get one out without it breaking, just so i can see how long they get. any suggestions??
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Postby Di Uhreea on Jun 02 2005 2:49 pm

i'd really like it if one of these days i could get one out without it breaking, just so i can see how long they get. any suggestions??


Swallow a really long condom?
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Postby wonderpance on Jun 02 2005 4:05 pm

hmm....that's a great idea, in theory. but i think it would end up just mingling with the other waste held within in my bowels, and become part of the poop, rather than encasing it.
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Postby Slim Jim Junkie on Jun 02 2005 7:35 pm

wonderpance wrote:hmm....that's a great idea, in theory. but i think it would end up just mingling with the other waste held within in my bowels, and become part of the poop, rather than encasing it.

Nah, condoms are used by drug smugglers. They fill the condom with coke, and eventually, it comes out the other end, intact. I have also heard that some smugglers don't swallow them, they jam coke condoms up their ass, and hold it there.
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Postby wonderpance on Jun 03 2005 10:33 am

yea, i've heard of that too. but in those cases, the condoms are already filled and closed up. what i'd be trying to do is make the condom fill up with my poop on the way out. do you think that would work?
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Postby Di Uhreea on Jun 03 2005 2:31 pm

Well then you need to think of some way of lining your colon with an intestine-like casing just like they do for sausages.
That, most definitely, would keep it from breaking.
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Postby wonderpance on Jun 03 2005 3:13 pm

how am supposed to do that?? perhaps there's some kind of procedure. i'll have to call my doctor.
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Postby Jobber on Jun 05 2005 1:46 am

I can't see that it would work, but if you want larger turds try some of the bran or husk based suppliments from health food stores. It is a bit trial and error as too much with to much water being drunk will result in passing a load of loose mush but too little will have no real effect. The best result is achieved when the user is able to pass a long fat but smooth and easy solid turd which holds together when it comes out and doesn't break up into bits and pieces. Just take the suppliment usually a powder dissolved in a glass of water or juice but be careful that it doesn't contain any other active ingredients such as casacara or senna or magnesium sulphate etc which are laxatives.
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Postby wonderpance on Jun 06 2005 11:39 am

man, that sounds like a lot of trouble to go through just to see how long my poops are. but i'm afraid that even if i did do that, i wouldn't be seeing how long my normal poops are, but, rather, how long my poops are when i take all that stuff. i don't want them to be a different size, i just want them to come out in once piece so i can get an idea of how long they are.
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