The PoopReport Forums • View topic - The Worst Combination of Culinary Subjects EVER!

by **daphne** on Sep 19 2005 1:57 pm

I had written to Dave a couple of days back about this, but I wanted to share it with the rest of you.
On Pacific highway, or 7 as it's known, here in Washington, there is a new building that caught my eye this week. I could not believe someone had actually combined these two chains.

In the front is a Starbucks.

In the back is a Taco Del Mar.

Yessir, it's your one-stop-poop-shop. I mean, what could be worse than over-caffeinated drinks followed by Mexican food? I can't imagine anything worse.

Can you? Any takes on a worse duo in the same building? I got off topic and thought of a liguor store and automotive repair, then porn store and hardware outlet. But, they paled in comparison to this fiasco.

by **in the bushes** on Sep 19 2005 4:34 pm

Can't think of much, but based on my own experience and stories that have been posted here, I'd say Pizza Hut belongs in the building, too. That might really guarantee some poo explosions.

by **liquidy_poo** on Sep 19 2005 5:34 pm

I'm sure those whose stomachs aren't quite adjusted to the awesomeness of Taco Bell might be screwed over if they eat there and have Mountain Dew while they're at it.

P.S. Lookit my nifty new signature! It's supposed to change every 30 seconds...cool.

by **AssBlaster2000** on Sep 19 2005 11:34 pm

Hmmm . . . down in Montgomeryville there is a Taco Bell next door to a Long John Silver's. I suppose if one doesn't give you the shits, the other one will!

As far as the funniest combination, I think that the "Giant" food store next to the "Dick's" sporting goods up in Whitehall gets my vote for funniest store pairing.

My vote for BEST store pairing ever: Back in "Poopersburg" where I lived until two weeks ago the Chinese buffet is right next to the Liquor store. Seriously sweet, people.

by **daphne** on Sep 20 2005 1:25 am

I wish you had a photo of the Giant and the Dick's sign. That's great.

by **The Big Wiper** on Sep 20 2005 1:53 am

This wasn't an example of a store sign, but recently, I was staying at a hotel where a letter was missing from the signs inside the elevator. There was a button whose sign read LOBBY; another whose sign read EXERCISE ROOM; and a third whose sign was supposed to read POOL.

But the L was missing from it for some reason, so it read POO. I had a broad smile on my face every time I got into that elevator!

by **AssBlaster2000** on Sep 20 2005 2:38 am

daphne wrote:I wish you had a photo of the Giant and the Dick's sign. That's great.

Well they changed it now so Dick's is on the left and Giant is on the right. (I'm talking about the sign in front of the shopping center, not the actual stores. I don't go up there much, but I don't think they are physically next to each other.) Supposedly there were a lot of complaints. I don't have a pic, but someone Mr. Blaster works with snapped a pic of it when it was the other way around. I'll have to see if he can borrow it so we can scan it.

TBW, someone probably scratched off the L in Pool on that sign. I was in an elevator once in a hospital and it said "Patient information should not be discussed in public areas." But someone scratched off the "L" in public so it said "pubic areas." That didn't make the sentence make any sense but it was pretty funny in a Beavis and Butthead sort of way. "Huh huh, that says pubic."

I sense that we (OK, me) are getting horribly off-topic here, but another pretty classic sign I saw was when Mr. Blaster and I were driving to Philly and we saw a McDonald's sign that said, "Now hiring ass managers." We didn't have our camera phones yet then, but damn, that is an advertisement for those things if I ever saw one. By the time we drove back it had been changed to read "asst managers."

by **Di Uhreea** on Sep 20 2005 11:56 am

To keep this thread off-topic...

I'm realizing now that there have been numerous instances around me where signs are changed around or purposely done to be about poo.

The other day, my daughter and I were at the mall and she had to go to the bathroom. Being the shameless shitter she is, she informed me that she had to "poop" and so I rolled my eyes and took a chair because she always takes about 10 minutes. Bored, I got up and wandered around this bathroom. I walked over to the baby change table and some nice person had hand-painted a Winnie the Pooh theme all around it.
Right above where a baby's head would be was Piglet with a caption bubble above his head saying "I love Pooh!" I started to laugh and my daughter was asking "What's so funny, Mommy?" from the cubicle.
She finished and came out to wash her hands and then I showed her the I love Pooh painting.
We spent the rest of the time walking around the mall saying in our sweetest voices "I love Pooooohhhhh." Pooh bonds people.

At work last year, I rearranged some letters on our recycling bin for plastic bottles. It said "Shampoo bottles" and i changed it to "Cat Poo bottles". Well, that's what they get for putting these bins next to the staff elevator!

by **daphne** on Sep 20 2005 6:27 pm

I kind of like this derailment. It's pretty funny. Let's go further.

In Radcliff, where I had to live when I was in Ft. Knox (hell), there was a restaurant called Fu Kim. I used to laugh all the time at it. Then, this year, I was looking through the Boners web site at funny pics, and someone had taken a picture of the sign and sent it in. I wasn't the only one who thought "fuck em" when I saw it.

The only signs in the women's bathrooms in the military post right now (Ft. Lewis) are battered women's signs. I guess the authorities think that's the only place a battered woman can get a business card without her abusive significant other finding out. I would think a hotline phone would also be a good idea as long as it was posted that pranks would be punishable by jail time.

Incidentally, I had to get a new phone yesterday. I bought a flip phone. Kurt's phone contract comes up on January, and then, he's getting this one, and I'm contemplating a camera phone. I'm just not sure.

by **The Shit Volcano** on Sep 21 2005 2:25 am

The best sign mutilation I saw was one that happened on a Max train downtown. The trains have stairs leading down to the platform. Posted on the sides of the stairs are little signs that say, "For everyone's convenience, please don't sit in the stairwells." Someone went through on one train and altered all the signs to read, "For everyone's convenience, please do it in the stairwells."

Also on the train are folding seats right next to the doors that say, "Priority seating for seniors." Someone altered this sign to say, "Pot seating for stoners."

As far as funny places to see next to each other, I didn't see any signs, but I did see a couple of stores in bad locations. An LA Weight Loss Center located between a pizza parlor and an all-you-can-eat Chinese Buffet.

A Planned Parenthood located nextdoor to a Blimpie. (But for some reason I'm the only one who found that one funny.)

by **in the bushes** on Sep 21 2005 5:48 pm

This is not a sign mutilation, but rather that someone doesn't know how to spell: On the way to my house, you can pass a place which has its name in big bold letters: "Mike's Hare Styles."

I have always loved that sign for some reason. But I don't think I'd let Mike style my hare if I had one.

by **The Big Wiper** on Sep 21 2005 8:47 pm

Don't get me started on the lack of literacy on marquees around the country, bushes. I see it all in my travels:

STUFF POTATO (instead of STUFFED): what kind of 'stuff?'

CHICKEN TENDER (instead of TENDERS): as opposed to CHICKEN TOUGH?

HOLLOWPENA PEPPERS: don't ask!

MITSABITSY: do we hate Japanese cars that much?

LOOSE WAIT FAST: and brain cells used to spell apparently!

SELL FONE SALE: do we really need to dumb things down to this extent?

by **runninggrrl** on Sep 21 2005 9:54 pm

My husband's college buddies used to go to Dick's supermarket a lot and his friend Nate signed up for the savings card that they had. He didn't think much of it until he read the card:
"Dick's Insider Card". Just say it fast, you'll get it. I think they had to change the name of it soon afterwards, because when my husband signed up for his Dick's Insider card, it was called the "Dick's Savings" card instead.

by **daphne** on Sep 22 2005 2:59 am

I bet the guy who owns the business is a Barry. Barry McCokkinner.

I couldn't help myself.

by **Di Uhreea** on Sep 22 2005 8:45 am

Oh God! To derail even further.....

Remember the joke "What do you call an East Indian who's been everywhere and done everything? Binder Dundat"???

A few years ago, an East Indian in Vancouver was charged with murdering some other E.I. guy by burning him in his restaurant's pizza oven! We called that dude "Deepdish Chardhard".
BWAAAAA HA HA HA A HA A HAH!!