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Ways to stop up a toilet (on purpose)

Postby The Dumpster on Jan 25 2006 8:37 am

A recent post over on the main page has led me to ask this question: If you WANT to stop up a toilet, what are the best ways to do it? Now, I know that most of us have at one time or another plugged up the pot by accident, but let's say you're spending Labor Day with the in-laws, or you're at some mandatory company dinner at the boss' house, or some other situation where you REALLY just want an excuse to leave. What better way to 'doo' this than to put a little Psalm 23 oil on the situation ("my cup overfloweth")?

Back in the '70's, I worked at Russell Hall at the University of Georgia. That was a single-sex dorm back then, housing about 1000 guys, with about 300 commodes and urinals (see my story, "Commode of Errors"). You better believe some ingenious ways of stopping up the johns were devised there. I would strongly advise against any incendiary device, such as an M-80 or a Molotov Cocktail, because those can cause the porcelain to shatter and injure you in the act. Plus, the explosion will being people running, and you will most likely be caught in flagrante delicto (as us lawyers say), which will lead to your well-deserved arrest and imprisonment, O best beloved.

If you can smuggle it into the bathroom, I suggest pouring about a pound of dry cement into the crapper. Flush right away, and then the evidence will disappear, but will lodge in the trap, where it will render the commode, as well as the subjacent sewer line, permanently useless (but it will take a long time and an expensive visit from the plumber to figure this out).

If you don't want to be quite that serious of a vandal, a box of grits has somewhat the same effect, but it can be fixed with a good bit of snake-work. Oh--and to achieve the desired effect of building evacuation, be sure to save a good big dump to heave in on top of the clog.

What are some other ingenious ways to foul out the thunderjug? (Other than too much toilet paper; that's too easy and not worth the ingenuity of a true PR fanatic.) The floor is now open for discussion.
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Postby AssBlaster2000 on Jan 25 2006 10:39 am

Mix some clear gelatin in with the toilet water and it will become the consistency of Jell-O but without the color. If people don't notice they will piss and poop in with the gelatin. If someone poops and it comes out with enough force, it would probably embed itself in the gelatin and become a Jell-O mold poop.

You may, though, have to replace some of the toilet water with hot water. I guess this could be done from the shower or sink, and I guess you'd have to shut off the valve to keep the bowl from filling back up while you were replacing the toilet water.
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Postby Slim Jim Junkie on Jan 25 2006 5:43 pm

When I was very young, I often threw in far too much TP, the hit the flush lever to see a toilet paper castle spin in a circle. To my young mind, that was entertaining. However, it didn't seem so entertaining when my parents saw that the crapper was about to overflow.

While I can't remember doing this, I have heard that some children put action figures in the crapper and flush. It may just stop the crapper, however, it can raise hell downstream of the throne.

There have been a few times where I tried to get rid of paper that wasn't meant for wiping the ass. This was because I didn't wanted to get busted for whatever that paper contained. Having to use the plunger to get that paper out of the vapor trap was a pain, but it beat getting caught with forbidden material.

I have also heard that a pair of underwear can really cause a septic system disaster. I'll just take those people's word for it.

I had a friend in school tell me that he once used the crapper to get rid of various dead animals, and it screwed up the pipes.
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Postby Jobber on Jan 26 2006 12:56 am

A friend of mine worked for Dynorod, a company which clears blocked drains with high pressure water jets etc.

He told me that apart from those who use too much toilet paper which forms a plug in the drains , the usual culprits in causing blockages, apart from defects in the pipework, are kids flushing toys down the toilet especially soft toys like teddy bears etc, pairs of soiled panties or underpants and pantyhose, sanitary towels, disposable nappies, (diapers), incontinence products such as Depends, newpaper used to wipe instead of toilet paper, the new moist toilet tissues which don't break up as easily as normal dry tissue paper, grease and kitchen refuse, plastic bags.
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stopped up

Postby foxylady on Jan 27 2006 8:08 pm

Sometimes people add extra toilet paper to try to get rid of skidmarks and it causes the toilet to stop up. I think a flush or two should get the job done and adding extra toilet paper is needless.
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Postby Di Uhreea on Jan 28 2006 3:46 am

Yeah, I think we all know how to stop up a toilet by putting lots of TP in it.
I just want to say that I know of a great way to stop up a toilet on purpose.
Dump a box of Q-Tips in it.
Anyone who's read old posts on this forum will know that my son did this to us when he was a toddler. It works like a beaver dam and no, you can't snake it.
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At a women's shelter where I once worked...

Postby Pooperscooper on Jan 28 2006 7:31 pm

one of the women would stuff oranges down the toilets. Weird attitude on her part--if it were not for our place she'd have had to sleep outdoors on the streets, and what does she go and do, but torture the toilets.

Many of our clients were like toddlers in adult bodies. Small kids vent their frustrations by committing vandalism, just to drive their parents nuts. So I guess thats why 'DM' did it.

And at the Hall of Justice the imates in the jail cells above the courthouse once stuffed towels down the crappers. They caused a flood that caused
a major water leak in at least one of the courtrooms and forced the court to ajourn until the problem was fixed!
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Postby The Dumpster on Jan 28 2006 8:19 pm

If I were C. Everett, I would add, "and all the shit the lawyers were piling in there didn't help, either."

But I am not C. Everett, and I AM a lawyer, so I will refrain from such a gratuitous insult upon my own profession.

(Besides, I don't practice criminal law....)
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Postby The Shit Volcano on Jan 30 2006 11:29 pm

Step 1. Dump in 1 whole box of super absorbant tampons.

Step 2. Wait until water is absorbed.

Step 3. Flush.

Step 4. Run like hell.
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Postby The Dumpster on Jan 30 2006 11:51 pm

TSV!! Are you back? I almost quit here missing you! What's up?
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Postby AssBlaster2000 on Jan 31 2006 12:20 am

Dumpster, if you quit here I'm taking your avatar away and never giving it back.
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Postby The Dumpster on Jan 31 2006 12:57 am

AB2K, no one could quit your presence for long--unless you cut a REALLY disgusting fart; the kind that only girls can do. I was just saying that I had missed TSV, but if she's back, I suspect we'll all feel her presence before long.

P.S.--I may have missed this, but what is the significance of the fox? (Other than describing your own looks?)
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Postby Di Uhreea on Jan 31 2006 2:26 am

Fox = Mozilla Firefox
Preferred internet browser of several Poopreporters.
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Postby The Dumpster on Jan 31 2006 6:49 am

Well, duh, I guess if I'd clicked on the icon I would'da seen that! [scratches head and looks stupid.]
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Postby Jobber on Feb 01 2006 4:43 am

WHY??????????

I simply cannot see why anyone would deliberately wish to block up a toilet pan. Too much toilet paper or the tampon trick described would do it.

I read of a slum landlord who wanted to get some tenants out so he could sell of the houses for redevelopment. He had his men pour concrete into the interceptor trap from the toilets and of course these backed up, the homes were declared unfit , the Local Authorities rehomed the residents and he was able to have the empty homes demolished. Nobody could PROVE he was to blame but everyone KNEW it. :evil:
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