A recent post over on the main page has led me to ask this question: If you WANT to stop up a toilet, what are the best ways to do it? Now, I know that most of us have at one time or another plugged up the pot by accident, but let's say you're spending Labor Day with the in-laws, or you're at some mandatory company dinner at the boss' house, or some other situation where you REALLY just want an excuse to leave. What better way to 'doo' this than to put a little Psalm 23 oil on the situation ("my cup overfloweth")?
Back in the '70's, I worked at Russell Hall at the University of Georgia. That was a single-sex dorm back then, housing about 1000 guys, with about 300 commodes and urinals (see my story, "Commode of Errors"). You better believe some ingenious ways of stopping up the johns were devised there. I would strongly advise against any incendiary device, such as an M-80 or a Molotov Cocktail, because those can cause the porcelain to shatter and injure you in the act. Plus, the explosion will being people running, and you will most likely be caught in flagrante delicto (as us lawyers say), which will lead to your well-deserved arrest and imprisonment, O best beloved.
If you can smuggle it into the bathroom, I suggest pouring about a pound of dry cement into the crapper. Flush right away, and then the evidence will disappear, but will lodge in the trap, where it will render the commode, as well as the subjacent sewer line, permanently useless (but it will take a long time and an expensive visit from the plumber to figure this out).
If you don't want to be quite that serious of a vandal, a box of grits has somewhat the same effect, but it can be fixed with a good bit of snake-work. Oh--and to achieve the desired effect of building evacuation, be sure to save a good big dump to heave in on top of the clog.
What are some other ingenious ways to foul out the thunderjug? (Other than too much toilet paper; that's too easy and not worth the ingenuity of a true PR fanatic.) The floor is now open for discussion.
I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit me.