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by **The Dumpster** on Mar 26 2006 11:13 am

My Dearest Hermione:

This is my favorite picture of us:

EDIT BY AB2K: THE POST IS REAL BUT THE PICTURE WAS MEANT AS A JOKE. THIS IS NOT ACTUALLY DUMPSTER AND HERMIONE.

by **AssBlaster2000** on Mar 26 2006 1:54 pm

I really hadn't pictured Hermione as the Confederate bikini-wearing type.

Seriously, though, Dumpster, I have to ask one question. You said that Hermione had "never been romantically or sexually involved with anybody else before." You have also mentioned that you are 48 years old and that she was a school friend of yours. If so, that means you deflowered a virgin in her mid 40's!? I'm not sure if you were being sarcastic when you wrote this or if she outrightly lied to you about that one, but if it IS true, holy freakin' studmuffin Batman! She waited that many years and gave it up to you. That must be some cucumber in your pants Dumpster!

by **The Dumpster** on Mar 26 2006 2:03 pm

She had never given it up before, AB2K. Of this I am medically certain. That is part of what makes the whole thing so painful, together with the fact that we make such a lovely couple, don't you think?

by **AssBlaster2000** on Mar 26 2006 2:53 pm

Sorry to touch on such a sensitive point, Dumpster . . . but yeah, you two really do make a lovely couple. With that scenery in the background, you look almost pathetic . . . errrr, poetic, yes, poetic is what I meant.

by **Poop Shooter** on Mar 26 2006 2:55 pm

Well, the pic would probably be better if you were wearing a matching a
speedo with stars and stripes.

I just don't see the resemblance to that Tennesee governor or whoever it
was you said you looked like.

With that pic, all the pooper-chicks will be knocking down their doors.
Take the ring off next time though.

btw.......i don't think that pic is you

by **The Dumpster** on Mar 26 2006 5:23 pm

Poop Shooter wrote:Well, the pic would probably be better if you were wearing a matching a speedo with stars and stripes.

I'm proud of my Southern heritage, but not quite THAT proud!

Poop Shooter wrote:I just don't see the resemblance to that Tennesee governor or whoever it was you said you looked like.

I think you're referring to this (scroll down to about the eighth post). Roy will kill me if he ever finds out!

Poop Shooter wrote:With that pic, all the pooper-chicks will be knocking down their doors. Take the ring off next time though.

Poop Shooter, you see things I never would have thought of! Is this the Voice of Experience?

Poop Shooter wrote:btw.......i don't think that pic is you

Aww, Damn! Now what would make you say that??

by **The Dumpster** on Mar 26 2006 5:25 pm

AssBlaster2000 wrote:With that scenery in the background, you look almost pathetic . . . errrr, poetic, yes, poetic is what I meant.

Looks like Brokeback Mountain behind us, doesn't it, AB2K? NOW who's jealous???

by **daphne** on Mar 26 2006 5:59 pm

I got the impression that you were older. You don't look much older than me.

Well, breakups can be very hard. And you're not a bad looking guy, not to mention a poopreporter, so I'm sure that after a bit of closure that you will manage to get back out there and find someone with which to share your life. Hang in there. I do hope that you and Hermione can be friends or at least manage to say hello and/or enjoy each other's company a bit in the future.

And to be honest, I don't know what I think of that bikini.

by **Poop Shooter** on Mar 26 2006 7:20 pm

i'm telling ya Dumpster, get you one of them Rebel flag Speedo's and the country chicks will be beating down yer doors!!

Naaaa still do not look like Roy.

Experience... no, I lost my wedding ring 3 years ago and haven't worn one since. It's always a mystery with me!!

by **AssBlaster2000** on Mar 26 2006 9:49 pm

Dumpster, it looks like you need a disclaimer in your post saying "This is not actually Dumpster." You might have made your post a bit too real!

by **Bunghole In the Jungle** on Mar 26 2006 11:28 pm

Okay, Daphne may not know what to think of the bikini. I'm still not at all sure this is your actual likeness, Dumpster and that of your ex lady friend, but I have to say that the swimsuit worn by "Ms. Hermione"--well the Union Jack should have been retired in the Civil War.

I'm truly sorry for your heartbreak. True love will come again, Dumpster.

by **The Dumpster** on Mar 26 2006 11:49 pm

To Bunghole, Daph, and others: What makes you think I don't look like that (from the neck down, anyway)? Maybe Dumpster really is the "steaming hunk" of your dreams!

As to the Confederate flag, and the "Union Jack," see the discussion here.

by **Rat Droppings** on Mar 27 2006 12:17 am

Hello, My name is Rat Droppings and I'm a Pooper. That was my official introduction of myself to the forums. Dumpster, I wanted to ask did you and Hermione go to Dragon-Con this year because I swear I met you there. You were dressed as Aragorn and Hermione was dressed as a fairy.
Just curious I know it was a drunken weekend for everyone.

by **Bunghole In the Jungle** on Mar 27 2006 12:37 am

I suppose the term "Union Jack" is not applicable unless it's flown flagship in Her Majesty's Navy. My thought is that flags are for flying--not wearing, not burning, not any desecration, not protesting against--just flying., and if so taken, honoring

by **Poop Shooter** on Mar 27 2006 12:41 am

The Dumpster wrote:
As to the Confederate flag, and the "Union Jack," see the discussion here.

Ya always got to be so darn lawyer-like and technical.

I guess that's why we like you though. :-)

Dumpster and Hermione