[dave]

Two things:

1) I need more people to write BM Newswires. Fate has conspired against many of the BM Newswire writers in the last couple of weeks -- from jobs (Scatoman) to floods (PooperGal) to ???? (Bunga & Sam). If anyone is interested, please email me at dave@poopreport.com and I'll give you an assignment. I only need about 300-400 words on a news story. If we get three or four people writing BM Newswires once a week, life will be good indeed.

2) I've realized that when it comes to points values, BM Newswires are underscored. They are worth 4 points. However, so is a poll, and writing a BM Newswire is a lot more effort than writing a poll. I'm thinking about making BM Newswires worth 7 points. What do you guys think?

(And I will apply those points retroactively, so there will soon be a big points recalculation in the future.)

[wonderpance]

i would like to get back into the fold of writing news stories. even though i might not have time at work, i now have high speed internet at home, so i can do more online stuff there. so, put me back on the list!

and i think 7 points sounds fair. it's like, right in between doing a poll and submitting a story.

[Dr. Strangeturd]

Sign me up to write them up, too. I'm usually online between 6:30 and 10 a.m. 5 days a week. The other 2 I'm out of town and have little to no net access.

Where is the best places to find this stuff anyways?

[AssBlaster2000]

Excuuuuuuuuse me? Just because polls have less words in them doesn't mean they're freakin' easy! It's a pain in the ass thinking of the poll ideas and the clever (or not-so-clever) little taglines! I can crap out a newswire in 20 minutes. (That's probably why my newswires are never very good.) Sometimes I wrack my brain for an hour thinking of a damn poll idea. I'm feeling a little slighted here, Dave.

However, I do have to concede that some of the newswires are very well-thought out and deserve a bit more recognition, and I can't really be complain because I'd end up getting more points too. Besides I don't want you to decide to take points away from my polls . . .

I'll continue writing newswires sporadically and spontaneously when I happen across an appropriate subject and when I have free time.

About the polls, I'm just messing, but seriously, if anyone has any poll ideas, send them my way!!!!!!!!!

[dave]

The best source for news is news.google.com. If you're going to write something up, though, it's a good idea to let me know so I can make sure no one else is working on the same story.

AB2K, I didn't mean to slight the polls. You're right -- polls ARE tough work. I've just spent a few minutes trying to brainstorm a new one, and I've come up blank. Nevertheless, I think BM Newswires are worth the 7 points, and I think polls are still pretty good at 4.

[daphne]

I try to write them when I have a few minutes. They are kind of like shit current events.

I'm sure I can get one a week in. It's so easy.

[Bilgepump]

Sorry I didn't respond to your e-mail Dave, things are kind of nuts with work and packing stuff to move. I'll be happy to provide what I can, but at least until August, I wouldn't count on anything regular from me, (pun absolutely intended, as always!)

[The Dumpster]

Bilge, are you still counting on regular baksheesh from members of this site?

[Bilgepump]

Saddly, I think most...no, make that all Poop Reporters are constipated when it comes to "Give all your money to Bilgepump".

[The Dumpster]

Well, we can keep trying, can't we?

(BTW--I am required by Federal Trade Commission regulations to disclose that Bilgepump and I have an arrangement where I encourage people to send all their money to him, and he gives me 45% of any monies so received.)

[daphne]

You must be that guy who sells popcorn for the Boy Scouts.......

[The Dumpster]

No, but I have a friend whose daughters are in the Girl Scouts, and she hits me up to buy about $100 worth of cookies every year. I have a freezer full of the damn things now!

[Dr. Strangeturd]

But those things are so damn good...we ate an entire box of thin mints at work one night. one of our regular truck drivers gave them to us as a thank-you for all the free coffee we give him.

[daphne]

Mr. Daphne loves the thin mints. I do too. I love them on mint chocolate chip ice cream.

And I just did a BM newswire article for the Dave in like 20 minutes. It was pretty easy. Now, I need to get back onto the JOAP article. The Things have been sick for 6 days, and I will be sick next.

I hate it when Mr. Daphne's gone when the Things are sick. Bastard.

[wonderpance]

damn kids. always makin' people sick.