[The Shit Volcano]

So my pooping adventures have begun. My gallbladder came on on March 8th and now I am adjusting to my new bowels. They're quite something.

Before the surgery, I never used to fart when I work up. (In fact, I didn't vote for "always" in that front page poll.) Now, every single morning I wake up and rip ass. Gilbert is usually annoyed.

I have discovered that my body no longer processes fat, toxins, and other nasties that used to leach into my system when I ate like crap. Now, I pay within minutes.

On Tuesday we went to Reno to drop my sister off at the train station. We spent the night at Circus Circus and enjoyed buffets, ice cream, a fancy dinner, and other various not so good items. Almost the minute I finished eating my banana split, I heard (and felt) this rather bizarre gurgling in the pit of my stomach. My asshole bulged as if it had to fart, but something told me this wasn't a good idea. I raced up to our hotel room instead and sat on the toilet.

Thank God I listened to intuition. That fart turned out to be a liquid explosion the likes of which hadn't been seen since the Missoula floods 12,000 years ago. Everything landed in the toilet. My melon and bean salad at lunch. The bananas, ice cream, nuts, caramel, and cherries from my banana split. Several chunks of breaded rack of lamb, potatoes, squash, and fresh baked bread. Everything came out almost as it had been when it went in. All in a single fart!

Yes, disappointing as it was to me. I almost regretted not farting in the middle of the casino. That would have made a great story for the front page. But, alas, I'm not THAT dedicated a journalist.

We went to Carson City to do some shopping for our irrigation system the next day. I really didn't have much of an appetite until after we arrived at the motel at Topaz Lake. Then I scarfed down another fruit salad, potato bacon soup, top sirloin steak, and a baked potato with all the fixings. This is what the toilet ate a few minutes after MY meal.

Tonight the pattern of crapping changed. We had a regular meal without all the crap in it. No chemicals. No added salt. Nothing but chicken thighs with a little bit of fat on the side. A few minutes after my meal I had the usual gassy gurgle and tried to sneak a fart. My crack was instantly soggy. I waddled to the bathroom and sat down on the toilet (thankfully discovering my underwear was clean) and farted again. A rain of something hot and greasy fell into the toilet with a sort of SLOOSH! sound. When I got up I discovered that the entire bowl was filled with yellow chicken fat. Nothing solid.

So, with my gallbladder out my guess is my body rejects anything crappy. Fat and chemicals, as well as other junk, goes right through in a matter of minutes. It makes me shudder to think of all the things that used to be processed right into my body instead of ushered through.

[daphne]

Even olive oil? Things like that?

My god, Shitty, how are you going to live? Your body needs fat for brain activity. Can anything be done for you?

[The Dumpster]

My god, Shitty, how are you going to live? Your body needs fat for brain activity. Can anything be done for you?

She can have some of mine.

[doniker]

The few people that I know (like my father and an ex-girlfriend) had to totally change their diets and lifestyles after gall bladder removal.

But I guess if it has to come out you don't have a choice. Good luck.

[The Dumpster]

TSV, here are a few links which discuss post-gall bladder surgery diets. Based on the problems you describe, I would urge you to contact your doctor and get him/her to prescribe a diet for you which will ease your problems and yet maintain your heath. We love you, Babe!

http://www.medhelp.org/forums/gastro/archive/257.html
http://www.liverdoctor.com/Section4/gallbladder.asp
http://www.targetwoman.com/articles/gal ... -diet.html
http://www.dietitian.com/gallblad.html
http://viper.med.unc.edu/surgery/gi/cho ... ctomy.html
http://www.diagnose-me.com/cond/C337709.html

[The Shit Volcano]

I saw the doctor on March 26th for the follow-up. He told me that this amazing non-metabolizing thing will stop in a few weeks. Well, just after the doctor appointment I have normal poop again. Yay!

I even tested it with a lamb chop, some really fatty cheese, sour cream, and some box dinners. Solid as granite and NO million wipers! I guess my bowel episode is over.

Perhaps I should write up the "evolution of the bowels" after my gallbladder adventure.

[doniker]

glad to hear things are getting better.

Their is nothing worse than having to be paranoid and worried that something you eat will cause an emergency run to the shitter.

Its a tough way to live.

[Randompoo]

The gallbladder is where bile is stored after the liver makes it. Bile is what your body uses to digest lipids (fats) when you eat. If you eat more fat than the bile your liver is making can handle at that moment (which is usually the case), the gallbladder dumps some bile into your digestive tract to assist in the breakdown of lipids.

With your gallbladder removed, your body cannot handle significant amounts of fats in your diet. Small amounts will be tolerated, depending on your liver's capacity to produce bile. But there is no longer a bile "reserve" in your digestive system to cope with a big influx of fats. Since bile is the only way lipids can be processed, when the bile runs out, the fats will go through the body more or less unchanged.

It's not "toxins" so much as it is just lipids. Greasy foods are, of course, high in fat. I might suggest that you eat very lean meats and low-fat foods when possible. Increasing fiber in your diet may help with the liqui-shits, or at least delay them somewhat until you're in a more comfortable location to poop.