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White Castle Death Farts

Postby Artful Dodger on Apr 21 2008 10:02 pm

I ate at White Castle last night, and now I'm paying dearly for it. For those that don't know, WC is a fast food restaurant chain based primarily in the midwest whose specialty is a mini-sized burger that is steam grilled on a bed of onions, and served up with a healthy dose of them under the bun. They're commonly called sliders, not only because they go down easy but because they come out the same way, and they cause the most horrid gas known to man. One little squeaker is enough to clear an entire room.

All day today I've been gassing myself silly. My personal odors don't usually bother me, but these aren't your run of the mill farts. They're so heavy they get caught in my jeans, so every step I take wafts a little stink-cloud in my wake. They linger in the seat cushion in my truck. Tomorrow when I get in, the pressure of sitting down will force all the stale onion farts out of the cushion and back into the air.

I wish I had some more.
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Re: White Castle Death Farts

Postby doniker on Apr 22 2008 6:47 am

It has been over 4 years since I feasted on White Castle food and yes, the gas their food can generate is some of the worst I have ever smelled.

Try eating a few orders of their deep fried onion pedals with your sliders; it will intensify the effect.
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Re: White Castle Death Farts

Postby robocrap13 on Apr 22 2008 7:44 am

I feel deprived. I've never had a White Castle.
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Re: White Castle Death Farts

Postby wonderpance on Apr 22 2008 10:41 am

ever since Harold and Kumar, i've been craving White Castle. sadly, i've only had the frozen version you can buy at the store. still damn delicious, though!
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Re: White Castle Death Farts

Postby doniker on Apr 22 2008 10:54 am

wonderpance wrote: White Castle. the frozen version you can buy at the store.



I've had the frozen ones from the store and they just aren't the same.

Part of the thrill is watching an overweight, minimum wage earning, middle aged woman or a zit faced teenaged punk cook up your food while you wonder if they washed there hand after the last time they took a dump.

I wonder if they steam cook them before they freeze them; I doubt it though because the frozen ones are too dry.
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Re: White Castle Death Farts

Postby Bilgepump on Apr 22 2008 5:23 pm

About the only thing I miss about Minnesota is White Castle...I had to eat them at least every three months. I had almost forgotten about them, until now...Thanks Dodger, ya bastard.
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Re: White Castle Death Farts

Postby Artful Dodger on Apr 22 2008 6:18 pm

pance, I have to agree with doniker. The frozen ones are but a pale imitation of the real thing. According to the White Castle web site the closest location to you is in Missouri. I doubt you'll want to make a road trip across Kansas just for some sliders, but next time you go east keep them in mind. If you find yourself down south, stop at Krystal. They're basically the same thing dontcha know.



On a personal note, I always try to drive through Kansas at night when I go to Denver. It's the most boring part of the trip. Sorry Kansas.


Wow, Minnesota. I didn't know that Bilgepump was a Norwegian name...
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Re: White Castle Death Farts

Postby The Shit Volcano on Apr 23 2008 4:48 am

Dodger, you need to load up on these things and then hang out in an elevator all day. Bring your camera and record the facial expressions.
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Re: White Castle Death Farts

Postby wonderpance on Apr 23 2008 10:44 am

yeah, i'm sure the real thing is better than i can even imagine! sadly, i don't have much occasion to be in any of the states that have them. but mark my words, whenever i do, White Castle will be my first stop!

and yeah, Kansas sucks.
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Re: White Castle Death Farts

Postby doniker on Apr 23 2008 12:15 pm

wonderpance wrote:
and yeah, Kansas sucks.


Hey, my sheltie was born on a farm in Kansas. If you keep insulting her home state, I will send her over to shit on your doorstep.
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Re: White Castle Death Farts

Postby wonderpance on Apr 23 2008 1:32 pm

ok, fine.

Kansas is only good for producing shelties!
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Re: White Castle Death Farts

Postby The Shit Volcano on Apr 24 2008 5:15 am

And tornadoes. Don't forget tornadoes.
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Re: White Castle Death Farts

Postby wonderpance on Apr 24 2008 10:10 am

oh yeah! of course, tornadoes are the best thing to come out of Kansas. followed by shelties.
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Re: White Castle Death Farts

Postby daphne on Apr 24 2008 3:58 pm

Unless they're caught up in the tornadoes, at which point they come out together.
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Re: White Castle Death Farts

Postby Artful Dodger on Apr 24 2008 4:03 pm

Those are the shelties that are in a big hurry to get out of Kansas. Looks like one of them got lost on the way to Cedar Point and ended up at doniker's house instead.
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