What do you do with that last sheet of toilet paper? You know, the one with all the glue on it.

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67 Comments on "What do you do with that last sheet of toilet paper? You know, the one with all the glue on it."

Bilgepump's picture
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ok, who's the idiot that can't follow directions??? It clearly states that if you vote "Other" to explain, yet there is a vote for that option, and no explanation...its Teddy, isn't it? TEDDY!!!! YOU BASTARD!!!! QUIT FUCKING WITH MY SKULL!!!
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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

prarie doggin's picture
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I just leave it on the spool and use the whole thing. Sorta like a corn cob.

LeandraCullen's picture
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TEDDY!!! OH NOES, DOES HE HAVE A TIME MACHINE?! *SCREAMS* (agrees w/ Bilge) TEDDY YOU BASTARD!!! *takes Bilge's foil*
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Peace, Love, Twilight.

The Original Grasshopper

Bananaman's picture
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Throw it in the bin with the other "glued" up tissues

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
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Use it! Use the tube too!

Bilgepump's picture
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Wow, I just realized I derailed my own poll with the very first post...I am a magical kind of dumbass.
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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

LeandraCullen's picture
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You're magically delicious....okay, that was wrong on so many levels...
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Peace, Love, Twilight.

The Original Grasshopper

wonderpance's picture
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sorry, bidge. that was me! i posted it and then voted as i usually do, but forgot to give my explanation.

i don't like to use that piece of TP, but not because of the glue. i just don't like having bits and pieces in my TP wad. i like it to be one long strip, folded just so.

however, i have used it in emergency situations.

it also seems to me that it's usually public TP that has a scary amount of glue on it, rather than home TP. the TP in my office's b-room has a ridiculous amount of glue on the paper that's wrapped around a new roll. whenever i have to start a fresh roll, at least 5 sheets are wasted because of that glue. it's just silly.
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i love poop.

i love poop.

prarie doggin's picture
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Wonder, the reason there is so much glue on the commercial brands is because it ships in much larger quantity/case, has less wrapping, and is subject to more abuse. Oh yeah, that and the fact that those paper plants get a lot of their raw material from recycled porn magazines.

Logjam's picture
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I do the same with it as I do with the last swig of orange juice in the carton -- leave it in the fridge for the next person to have to deal with.

Logjam

sittingpretty's picture
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I set it aside for later when I need it for thickness. I tuck it in underneath the side I want to use. Scott regular is not excessive with glue.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

phatmanxxl's picture
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I voted other, I toss it then get out a fresh roll to roll around my hand a few dozen times like a mitten then get to work on the wiping ritual. BTW this is my 200th post :) do I get a prize or something?

shitwit's picture
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Hey, phats! I'll give you a big high five for that! I promise I washed my hands after pooping moments ago.

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

shitwit's picture
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I just use the TP anyway. Mr shitwit is so kind and always leaves the very last sheet on the roll for me..... even when the "new" roll he got out is perched on top of the roll with one sheet on it which is still on the dispenser!

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Ass-N=All's picture
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I carefully peel the last sheet off and use it to carefully clean my fingertips of any fecal matter that may have escaped the toilet paper on my previous wipe.
Or, if it's before a wipe, I use it to pick/wipe the inside of my nose at the point of my nose. Using this method, keeps me from giving in to the urge to clean my finger in my mouth, after picking/cleaning the inside point of my nose!

baron von crapalot's picture
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Other - roll it up Q-tip style, and clean out my ears whilst using the other hand to open a fresh roll.

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Did I just fart?.... Oh shit! NO!!

I hope to god I've just sat in a Shepard's pie.

prarie doggin's picture
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I will often take the tube, hold it to my mouth and trumpet out some fart music just in case those nearby haven't heard enough of the real ones.

Oh, and Shitwit, I have managed to achieve a full roll sitting on top of TWO empty rolls. Impressed?

Poonanza's picture
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I jsut use it. No biggie to me. I just wad it up and use it more firmly, as not to get tiny exelsior in my crack. Tube is next if I have no backups.

I made my own holder ^_^ Done painted it yellow, I did. Christened as the fist piece of furniture I built for my new house. It's perfectly tall enough to hold two rolls, and I set it right in front of the toilet. I set a new roll underneath the one on top every time, if you dont it will unwind itself and flutter down.

Plus it's vaguely portable.

wonderpance's picture
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phatman, there's not prize, but you do get to revel in the knowledge that you only have about a thousand more posts before you hit the highest users list!
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i love poop.

i love poop.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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I take it outside, give it a decent burial, and have taps played for the horses that made the glue possible.


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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
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i don't see how anyone can use the last square. mine always shreds itself into oblivion. during my younger days i lived with 2 male roomates. I left one weekend to go camping and when I came home there were 4 empty rolls stacked on top of one another and a new one on the counter that they were currently using. I asked them what they would do with the next one when its empty, "carefully stack it on top of the others and put a fresh one on the sink."

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

prarie doggin's picture
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So, what's the problem?

LeandraCullen's picture
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Wasn't there a garbage can or something right there they could have tossed them in?
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Peace, Love, Twilight.

The Original Grasshopper

Bilgepump's picture
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Women's logic never ceases to baffle me. Throw them in the trash? WTF???
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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

LeandraCullen's picture
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What else are you supposed to do with them? Save them up to throw at people?
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Peace, Love, Twilight.

The Original Grasshopper

Postman's picture
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Use it just like all the other sheets. The glue acts as an abrasive, so it will scrub that shit right off. Kind of like wiping your ass with a Brillo pad.

Not that I've ever done that, of course.

prarie doggin's picture
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Postman, do you ever pine for the pre self- adhesive stamp days and just lick the tube?

Postman's picture
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Ah, the good old days. (Sniff, sniff, a tear comes to the eye.)

Best not to live in the past, however.

Koby's picture
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I chose other. Heres what i do...

1: You fold it over so its a square 1/4 the size of the original sheet.
2: Tear off the corner where the middle would beif unfolded.
3: Unfold and put your finger in the hole in the middle of the sheet.
4: Insert into your brownie cannon and twist.
5: Discard the sheet into the toilet.
6: The corner from before? To get the stuff from under you fingernail

phatmanxxl's picture
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Let's not forget to recycle folks, we can be green along with the Blue #1 loaded green poo!

LeandraCullen's picture
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*shudders violently* I'm just going to keep with throwing them away...
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Peace, Love, Twilight.

The Original Grasshopper

prarie doggin's picture
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Ssshhh, what's that I hear. Listen carefully. Hear it? Yes, the sound of another tree falling in the forest. Thanks, Leandra.

LeandraCullen's picture
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...okay...I'll mail them via overnight mail to Bilge, how's that? seeing as my 'women's logic' baffles you all...
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Peace, Love, Twilight.

The Original Grasshopper

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Ignore it...........don't use the stuff.

phatmanxxl's picture
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My ex uses the empty TP rolls to insert her tampons.

prarie doggin's picture
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Boy that was below the belt. Literally.

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
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Hey Phat! I Think I know her! Did she carry her diaphragm in a pizza box?

phatmanxxl's picture
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Lol she used a two liter bottle to douche too.

Ass wipe pays the bills's picture
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oh brother! my husband makes ass wipe for a living. The glue is made of butt safe materials.Same glue as paper towels.

prarie doggin's picture
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Ass wipe pays..., get your head out of the sand. Why do you think they hand out stacks of porn to the workers at the start of their shift?

Comrade Poopov's picture
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I use it only if I can't reach a new roll or if I'm running low on paper.
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Blowing you chocolate kisses from my butt...

Blowing you chocolate kisses from my butt...

LeandraCullen's picture
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I'm seriously starting to fear for my sanity the more I read these replys.
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Peace, Love, Twilight.

The Original Grasshopper

sittingpretty's picture
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Phatxxl, does your wife insert used or unused tampons in the toilet paper cardboard. Why either way?

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

LeandraCullen's picture
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*runs out of room screaming insanely* Didn't want to think of that!!!!
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Peace, Love, Twilight.

The Original Grasshopper

hayley's picture
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I just leave it on the roll and throw it away and pray there is another roll of toilet paper nearby.

LeandraCullen's picture
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Prarie Doggin said:

Oh yeah, that and the fact that those paper plants get a lot of their raw material from recycled porn magazines.

I just figured out what that meant. Ew.
_______
Peace, Love, Twilight.

The Original Grasshopper

daphne's picture
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Lookit you using that html like a mad pro.


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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

C Everett Poop's picture
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I don't use paper. I use aluminum foil. I cut the foil rolls to toilet paper roll length on my chop saw.

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
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Before or after you make helmets out of it?

prarie doggin's picture
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Thanks for the visual CEP. That about fucking does it for us. Can we borrow your melon baller Daphne?

The Reynolds Wrap Ladies