ok, who's the idiot that can't follow directions??? It clearly states that if you vote "Other" to explain, yet there is a vote for that option, and no explanation...its Teddy, isn't it? TEDDY!!!! YOU BASTARD!!!! QUIT FUCKING WITH MY SKULL!!!
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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

I just leave it on the spool and use the whole thing. Sorta like a corn cob.

TEDDY!!! OH NOES, DOES HE HAVE A TIME MACHINE?! *SCREAMS* (agrees w/ Bilge) TEDDY YOU BASTARD!!! *takes Bilge's foil*
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Peace, Love, Twilight.

Throw it in the bin with the other "glued" up tissues

Use it! Use the tube too!

Wow, I just realized I derailed my own poll with the very first post...I am a magical kind of dumbass.
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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

You're magically delicious....okay, that was wrong on so many levels...
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Peace, Love, Twilight.

sorry, bidge. that was me! i posted it and then voted as i usually do, but forgot to give my explanation.

i don't like to use that piece of TP, but not because of the glue. i just don't like having bits and pieces in my TP wad. i like it to be one long strip, folded just so.

however, i have used it in emergency situations.

it also seems to me that it's usually public TP that has a scary amount of glue on it, rather than home TP. the TP in my office's b-room has a ridiculous amount of glue on the paper that's wrapped around a new roll. whenever i have to start a fresh roll, at least 5 sheets are wasted because of that glue. it's just silly.
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i love poop.

Wonder, the reason there is so much glue on the commercial brands is because it ships in much larger quantity/case, has less wrapping, and is subject to more abuse. Oh yeah, that and the fact that those paper plants get a lot of their raw material from recycled porn magazines.

I do the same with it as I do with the last swig of orange juice in the carton -- leave it in the fridge for the next person to have to deal with.

I set it aside for later when I need it for thickness. I tuck it in underneath the side I want to use. Scott regular is not excessive with glue.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

I voted other, I toss it then get out a fresh roll to roll around my hand a few dozen times like a mitten then get to work on the wiping ritual. BTW this is my 200th post :) do I get a prize or something?

Hey, phats! I'll give you a big high five for that! I promise I washed my hands after pooping moments ago.

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

I just use the TP anyway. Mr shitwit is so kind and always leaves the very last sheet on the roll for me..... even when the "new" roll he got out is perched on top of the roll with one sheet on it which is still on the dispenser!

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

I carefully peel the last sheet off and use it to carefully clean my fingertips of any fecal matter that may have escaped the toilet paper on my previous wipe.
Or, if it's before a wipe, I use it to pick/wipe the inside of my nose at the point of my nose. Using this method, keeps me from giving in to the urge to clean my finger in my mouth, after picking/cleaning the inside point of my nose!

Other - roll it up Q-tip style, and clean out my ears whilst using the other hand to open a fresh roll.

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Did I just fart?.... Oh shit! NO!!

I will often take the tube, hold it to my mouth and trumpet out some fart music just in case those nearby haven't heard enough of the real ones.

Oh, and Shitwit, I have managed to achieve a full roll sitting on top of TWO empty rolls. Impressed?

I jsut use it. No biggie to me. I just wad it up and use it more firmly, as not to get tiny exelsior in my crack. Tube is next if I have no backups.

I made my own holder ^_^ Done painted it yellow, I did. Christened as the fist piece of furniture I built for my new house. It's perfectly tall enough to hold two rolls, and I set it right in front of the toilet. I set a new roll underneath the one on top every time, if you dont it will unwind itself and flutter down.

Plus it's vaguely portable.

phatman, there's not prize, but you do get to revel in the knowledge that you only have about a thousand more posts before you hit the highest users list!
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i love poop.

I take it outside, give it a decent burial, and have taps played for the horses that made the glue possible.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

i don't see how anyone can use the last square. mine always shreds itself into oblivion. during my younger days i lived with 2 male roomates. I left one weekend to go camping and when I came home there were 4 empty rolls stacked on top of one another and a new one on the counter that they were currently using. I asked them what they would do with the next one when its empty, "carefully stack it on top of the others and put a fresh one on the sink."

So, what's the problem?

Wasn't there a garbage can or something right there they could have tossed them in?
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Peace, Love, Twilight.

Women's logic never ceases to baffle me. Throw them in the trash? WTF???
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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

What else are you supposed to do with them? Save them up to throw at people?
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Peace, Love, Twilight.

Use it just like all the other sheets. The glue acts as an abrasive, so it will scrub that shit right off. Kind of like wiping your ass with a Brillo pad.

Not that I've ever done that, of course.

Postman, do you ever pine for the pre self- adhesive stamp days and just lick the tube?

Ah, the good old days. (Sniff, sniff, a tear comes to the eye.)

Best not to live in the past, however.

I chose other. Heres what i do...

1: You fold it over so its a square 1/4 the size of the original sheet.
2: Tear off the corner where the middle would beif unfolded.
3: Unfold and put your finger in the hole in the middle of the sheet.
4: Insert into your brownie cannon and twist.
5: Discard the sheet into the toilet.
6: The corner from before? To get the stuff from under you fingernail

Let's not forget to recycle folks, we can be green along with the Blue #1 loaded green poo!

*shudders violently* I'm just going to keep with throwing them away...
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Peace, Love, Twilight.

Ssshhh, what's that I hear. Listen carefully. Hear it? Yes, the sound of another tree falling in the forest. Thanks, Leandra.

...okay...I'll mail them via overnight mail to Bilge, how's that? seeing as my 'women's logic' baffles you all...
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Peace, Love, Twilight.

Ignore it...........don't use the stuff.

My ex uses the empty TP rolls to insert her tampons.

Boy that was below the belt. Literally.

Hey Phat! I Think I know her! Did she carry her diaphragm in a pizza box?

Lol she used a two liter bottle to douche too.

oh brother! my husband makes ass wipe for a living. The glue is made of butt safe materials.Same glue as paper towels.

Ass wipe pays..., get your head out of the sand. Why do you think they hand out stacks of porn to the workers at the start of their shift?

I use it only if I can't reach a new roll or if I'm running low on paper.
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Blowing you chocolate kisses from my butt...

I'm seriously starting to fear for my sanity the more I read these replys.
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Peace, Love, Twilight.

Phatxxl, does your wife insert used or unused tampons in the toilet paper cardboard. Why either way?

*runs out of room screaming insanely* Didn't want to think of that!!!!
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Peace, Love, Twilight.

I just leave it on the roll and throw it away and pray there is another roll of toilet paper nearby.

Prarie Doggin said:

Oh yeah, that and the fact that those paper plants get a lot of their raw material from recycled porn magazines.

I just figured out what that meant. Ew.
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Peace, Love, Twilight.

Lookit you using that html like a mad pro.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

I don't use paper. I use aluminum foil. I cut the foil rolls to toilet paper roll length on my chop saw.

Before or after you make helmets out of it?

Thanks for the visual CEP. That about fucking does it for us. Can we borrow your melon baller Daphne?

The Reynolds Wrap Ladies

I've used the news paper before, no glue just black ink.

I also put my USED tampon applicators (not the part you flush but the plastic or cardboard part) in the toilet paper roll in the garbage can. I do it that way people don't have to look at the bloody applicator. For their sake and my own. I like to be discreet about that stuff.

Thanks, Ms. Coward. That does make sense. I seem to recall putting useds in the cardboard if there was one in the trash. I was taught to wrap the used tamps and pads in the Dixie. Mother always saved the Dixie Magazine out of the sunday paper for the monthly issues of blood.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Aw! and you reckon guys are gross!

Used to leave it and the roll on the holder as wife-bait. Now I'm at home and just as likely to find it it doesn't seem so funny!

In this economy, I use it and then I'm a tube wiper. Use every scrap, I always say! Of course, when you use Scott, there usually is no issue with glue on the last piece.

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I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

I dust lightbulbs in the 'throom with it. Baked-on dust--about 90% skin cells--is almost as gross as fecal bowl residue (bilirubin-coloured).

ACSial (not verified) -- 12.15.2008
I dust lightbulbs in the 'throom with it. Baked-on dust--about 90% skin cells--is almost as gross as fecal bowl residue (bilirubin-coloured).

WTF??? You just can't make that up, which means you actually do that, which makes me want to go pour bleach into my brain to rid myself of the memory of reading that post.

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Peace, Love, Twilight.

I never said there was a problem. I left it that way and kept letting them stack them up. They got about 7 before it fell over one day. Nope no trash can at the time in the shitter. This was in my poor days where we had stolen lawn furniture as our house furniture.
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Oops I did it again, I shit when I fart, I crapped in my pants.

I don't ever use the last piece of tp on the roll because I'm too lazy to pick it off, and it never does come out right. That's why I always make sure I have plenty of tp in the bathroom.

It seems to me there's more glue at the beginning of the roll. Does anybody else have trouble getting the first sheet off because it's like welded to the rest of the roll?

Yes I do, and I hate it when they put that fancy schmancy little fold on the edge. You think you've put the roll on the holder right side up, and after you pull the fold you find its actually upside down. Drives me nucking futz.

Maybe we should go back to the old days and use corn cobs and Sears catalogs.

After three days of heavy drinking and beer shits, my asshole is raw enough with the super absorbent toilet paper I have now. I dunno if I can handle corncobs or sears magazines. And I also hate the glue at the beginning of the roll. Half the time I end up tearing several layers into the roll in my haste to get the toilet paper properly situated and get my butt placed over the toilet seat.

I blot my lipstick on it

Nice stuff.The glue acts as an abrasive, so it will scrub that shit right off. Kind of like wiping your ass with a Brillo pad.

spaaticus, what's gross is my liitle brother being curious as to what was rolled up in the dixie magazine and opened one up. He probably gagged on the old rotton period blood smell and the visual of a dark brown stained pad or tampon. not to mention what he saw when he opened it.br>_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17