i'd charge admission to that shit! people travel thousands of miles to worship anything shaped like the virgin Mary.
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i love poop.

Since most of my turds look like larger than life caricatures of Vern Troyer, I don't think I could make much money charging admission.

_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

I would make it a shrine and ask everyone to come see it. I don't think I would get anyone other than a fellowpoopreporter to views therefore charging admissions would be moot.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Damn. Did it again. Posted a blank. Sorry, moderators.
...anyway, I googled Michael Bolton to refresh my memory before I voted, and I came to the conclusion that a poo that looked like that, should be buried for poosterity (although how one manages to give birth to a toilet-baby with blonde curly hair is beyond me).
BTW- my dog can do poos that look like Michael Jackson, in that they start out dark brown, but end up white.
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The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

Are we seriously comparing Michael Bolton with deities?!? Lately my shits look like Flubber...I think I'll bottle it and sell it.
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Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

I just took a shit that looks like Officer Joe Bolton. Nyuk nyuk. Woo boo boo.

Curly

I just pinched a loaf that had a remarkable resemblance to Charlton Heston, I took it down to the Cumberland river to see if it could part the waters and it caused a massive fish kill. Anyone like to buy some bargain priced carp fillets?

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Is this Michael Bolton Before or after the mullet? Cuz sometimes my poo is fuzzy but I think I'd compare it more to Bono during his mullet years. I'd consider him a deity before Michael friggin Bolton.
However, I've been eating alot of yummy homegrown heirloom tomatoes lately, so I'd say my poo looks like the dead sea scrolls.

Next time I shit I'm going to try to curl it up into a nice little pile so it ends up looking like Buddha....now there's a deity.

Did Michael Bolton die? I made a poo the resembled Hillary Clinton, this morning.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

I had a crap that smelled so bad, everybody in the apartment was screaming "My God!"

I don't think that's what you mean..
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You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....

Mine mostly resemble an angry President Bob Mugabe, not much value in those.

LOL @ RoboCrap13, that was funny!

My poop rarely looks like it even came out of a human being, much less resembling anyone.

That said, I have been known to call my significant other over to verify my pareidolia before flushing it away.
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Help for IBS

I am not a god, Postman. I`m just a very enlightened fat dude.

And if your turds look anything like what I just saw in the mirror, you have a serious problem my unenlightened friend.

Buddha, you're just jealous that Michael Bolton is getting some attention.

Admit it.
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To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

Buddha, Michael want's to poke you for good luck.

Only not in the belly.

I have a hard enough time seeing gawd in the sunrise. Now you're suggesting that I might start seeing gawd and/or celebrities in my poop? If that were to happen, it would have to be cleansed by fire.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go wrap my head in tin foil. I think the CIA is trying to tap into the brain trust again.
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Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Mine usually resemble a taller Nicole Richie. Hardly a deity...

I would just take a picture of it and then flush it away. Why was this not in the poll?

Preserve it and sell it
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Russell the shitting queen

I worship the flying spaghetti monster. Thus, all of my poops look like my diety. Each poop is a little blessing and reminder of my god. I feel that I am being touched by it's noodly appendage.

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Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

All my shits look exactly like Madeline Albright. I don't know what to do.

I'm with AC: take a picture of it, make a commercial website, and sell advertising ("You've seen this crap, now buy the other crap on this site").

It`s a sign from above, CEP! God is calling for us to live the rest of our lives together.

I`ll be round directly, big boy, then we`re off to that compound of yours in Montana. I just can`t wait to start bouncing up and down on that fine specimen of naval tackle you`ve got hidden away in those crisp white trousers! Mmmmhmmm!

Madeleine, you hussy. lol. Go gurl! But, are you really THAT interested in a person who poops your look-a-likes?

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To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

CEP, it could be worse. Your shits could be big hulking Janet Reno look a likes.

Heaven help him if his turds had resembled Mr. T.!!

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Chief, you'd need to drink a hell of a lot of Goldschlager to pump out one with all that bling.

I hope this doesn't sound raciest but a couple of buckets of KFC would probably also be necessary.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Thats the raciest thing I ever read!
I can't imagine anything racier.
...some girls will, some girls won't, (piss-poor music joke, there).
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The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

Madeline you filthy slut! That navy boy is all mine, just leave that special blue "starch" he needs to make his pants stiff or my contacts in justice will be paying you a visit....whore!

Spelling Nazi!

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Is that with a smilie or a frownie, daph?
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The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

Neither. I feel scandalously non-committal today, my dear Box.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

...Box?
Hey! Somebody stole my +1 from my 08.06.2009 post!!!
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The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

Flush the poo, and head to temple. We don't practice idolatry, even for Michael Bolton!

I don't see where you made a comment on 8/6, mullet. (I was checking to see if I lamed you, but I didn't).
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

BM, it wasn't stolen. Due to the fact you are at the bottom of the world, it merely fell off into space.

It looked so good I ate it. When I shat it out it looked like the Jonas Brothers...should I be worried.
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Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

MMC, given that the Jonas Brothers music is the excrement of all those more talented. No, I would not be worried.
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Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Still, MCC, sell it on ebay. ..gets it out of the house and you can make $1.98.

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To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

Actually, Bran, we sell our own poops that look like us (and they play our songs!) for $1.98, so the average person would likely get $1.49 at best.

Does that include shipping?

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Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Sell it at a lemonade stand as lanyap.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

HEY!!! I know what a lagniappe is!!! My ex-step daughter's gramma was from Baton Rouge, she gave us all lagniappes every once in a while. SP, you are one too!!!
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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

oh man. i would put on the hercules soundtrack in the bathroom and just have people come over to view it. amazing. just amazing.

What's a flippinn' lanyap!

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To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

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The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

Its like a lanyard, but a bit shorter.
And noisier, too.
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The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

Jona Brothers wrote: "Actually, Bran, we sell our own poops that look like us (and they play our songs!) for $1.98, so the average person would likely get $1.49 at best."

Correction to MMC:
Still, MCC, sell it on ebay. ..gets it out of the house and you can make $1.49. (if yo're average.)

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To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

Bilgepump said,"you are one too, SP". Bilgepump you are saying I am extra. That's what langiappe(lanyap)is, extra.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Langiappe is an extra gift, or a small gift....just for being, no special reason other than the giver thinks the reciever is special. Pardon me, now, while I board my special short bus.

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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

So you are saying I'm a small gift, which means, I am a compliment. So you were saying something good. Thank you Bilgebump.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Of course I was, honey. I'm not ALWAYS nasty.
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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

LOL, please, allow me to say that you are sweet.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

oh no, don't start that shit, I have an image to maintain.

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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

No, sp, no, no, no........the last thing we need on this board is some kind of "Sweet Buns" Bilge spreading happiness and love all over the place.

Thanks T-box...that was too damn close.

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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

What is it with you guys that you have to be known as a meanie weanie? Why can't a guy be known as a nice guy, as a sweet guy? Why?
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

I'm a sweet guy. Just ask Bilg...er...Thun...er...Chie...well dammit I'm cute anyway. Well kinda.

SP...being sober for 8 years, celibate for 4 (not by choice) I'm so godddamn close to sainthood its scary, and I couldn't handle that kind of pressure.

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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Awe. You are, too, PD, and so is the chief.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Sniffle.

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To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

I have sweet bran muffins to offer anyone who wants one. (Do bribes work with you?)
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To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

Oh, Brannie, you are adorable and the sweetest ever. You don't need to buy love. You already have it.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Have a muffie anyway.
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To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

Awe. You are so sweet Brannie. Have a praline.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Can I get in on the "muffie" action? Oh, wait, you're talking about baked goods, never mind.

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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

You have to be sweet to get in on the muffie action, Bilge. Are you gonna be sweet and be proud of being sweet, Bilgepump?br>_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Dammit, there's always a catch. A price to be paid. DAMN DAMN DAMN.

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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

So, is that a yes, Bilgepump?
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

I have to think about it.

_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

BILGE BE STRONG!! You can get a bran muffin at 7-11.

Oh, yeah, and I can be a surly sum bitch there, too. In fact, its expected of me. Good call, buddy.

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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

I'm waiting...
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

You just keep waiting, there, Toots, I'm gonna go visit Hapu at the Kwikee Mart for a Slushie and a muffin, berate his miserable existence, and insist on a receipt.

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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Yeah, I'm going to the dollar store and ask Hamir for a price check on at least 20 items. Or until I get thrown out.

Looks like you are the only Sweetie,there, Brannie. You couldn't EVEN bribe Bilgepump to be sweet. He's getting his muffin from some arabian gas-station.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Auction it on ebay.

Hmmmm. You have the best muffie, Brannie. Thanks! No... Bilgepump! Let go of my muffie!
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Menage a muffie...

The joke is on you, boys. I sell my muffies to all the Kwikie Marts. You coulda got one for free by being sweet. Too bad. Me and SP will enjoy my muffie together. By ourselves.

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To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

All the Quickie Marts around here sell corn pones and Johnny cakes, what's a muffin?

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

YOU SELL YOUR MUFFIES TO KWIKIE MART? INFIDEL!! MAY A DISEASED CAMEL DEFECATE IN YOUR MUFFIN BATTER.

Hamir,
7-11
Jersey City

Lol, lol, lol, Bilgepump, you listened to PD and missed out on Brannie and me and her muffie, all for the sake of being a sum bitch. You are so due for a spanking. Brannie, don't you think Bilgepump should get spanked for not being sweet? Don't tell anybody, Brannie, but I think Bilgepump is sweet as your muffie. Naturally no poopreporter is as sweet as you Brannie Lover.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

***Blushing*** Thank you for the compliment SP!

Cheif, a muffin is a Johnny cake only with more fiber. I add some gravel to it.

Hamir, you live in America now. Get with it. It's a FREE COUNTRY! I can sell my muffies where ever I want! (Wanna buy some?!!!)

Jersey City IS in America, right? Just checking.

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To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.