this was difficult, but i chose daphne cuz that means we'd get to hang out! plus, she'd give me wine, and i know she keeps her bathroom nice and clean with plenty of extra TP for visitors._______i love poop.
I had to pick other. In other words my own. I'm sure everybody on the list has a great bathroom, but if I'm gonna stink it up and leave skidmarks, better to be at home.
I'm afraid I had to vote "other" as well...no slight intended to any of the listed poopers, especially my beloved Logjam, but I want to poop in Feto D. Walcott's crapper, just to see if I could make it through the whole thing. Good Luck, Feto, where ever you are, and I hope you are feeling better.
An aside, Wedgie, your name is conspicuously absent from the list...why is that? We aren't good enough to bust a bowel movement in your bathroom? _______ The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
i don't think i'm popular enough here on the front page to be included on the list. plus, i only picked people from the top posters list over there (it was prarie's question, but i chose the options).
but that's why there's an "other" option!
and you can poo in my loo anytime, bidge!_______i love poop.
I'd like to take a big ole shit in C. Everett's home, leave a steamy pile right on his kitchen floor. He wasn't on the list, so I had to go with the second best choice -- Doniker.
I pick Daphne's because she is a girl and most girls keep cleaner bathrooms than boys. I don't care for bathrooms that boys use because boys pee every where except the toilet and therefore boys' bathrooms usually smell like urine._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
That's because the old fire hose has a mind of it's own. Sometimes it's hard to control that thing.
Postman -- I use that "hard to control" line on occasion as well. But you know as well as I do that by 8 we'd developed perfect aim, and that the reason we pee all over our bathrooms is to keep the women out.
I was just wondering how you guys would feel if the women smeared period blood and guts all over the bathroom._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
I picked Dave since he would probably be so impressed by the smell that I would be included in his next book and be famous.
_______Eat chilies and feel the burn!!
Sittingpretty, I don't think you can compare leaving a few dribbles of urine on the floor with "smearing period blood and guts" all over a bathroom. But if you must insist in straddling all the fixtures and painting them red you have my blessings. Oh, and if you don't mind I'll vote Bilge's bathroom for you.
No, PD! I want to go to Daphne's. I want to meet Gator (and Daphne). I want to see what its like in the middle of the woods in Washington State. I want to see Thing One's Pilonidal cyst scar. I want to try on Daphne's moose hat. I don't want to use Bilge's bathroom as he dribbles and he has oozie stringy thingies on 70% of his body. _______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
Sorry SP... Daphne is in middle of the I5 corridor in Washington. If you want the middle of nowhere WA, you have to see me.
If you want the middle of somewhere you wish you weren't, then I'm the one. But I do have a pilonidal cyst scar.
But you're a peeper like 'Pump, PD. I might consider Squat's if his sailboat has a bathroom. I'd love to be sailing while I'm using squat's boat toilet. Sorry PD, bro. I can use your toilet any day in adopted brother and sister world of poopreport._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
Some sick fucker voted for me, and I wanna know who the hell it was, right now, and what the fuck is your primary diagnosis? _______ The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
You must have a secret admirer Bilge.
In an "I'd like to take a steaming shit in your house" sorta way.
I'm jealous.
So far Chief is leading the voting. What does he have that everybody else doesn't?
Animal odor...er...I mean...magnetism, yeah, thats it. _______ The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
Hey Bilge buddy. I stated that hippie chicks are extinct, and you said that they still existed near your area. You would think that I, at least would vote for you.
Everybody is lying. We all know they would be heading off to Chief's house for some varmint stew. Pooping would be secondary.
Probably explosive too.
Squat, you realize those 20-something hippie chicks from the '60's are now approaching 70 years old, right?
_______ The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
I voted, "other", mainly my own bathroom, I dont know anyone in this forum well enough to be invited to their house, let alone poop in their bathroom, although truth be known,I am a shameless shitter and i would prefer the bathroom of any of the female poopers in the group, because their bathrooms would be cleaner, and be well stocked with TP. _______In search of the ever evasive BM
PD, I want to see your pilonidal cyst scar too._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
Chief is popular because he doesn't pee as he catheterizes himself. Chief has catheters drip drying from the shower curtain rod on hangers._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
I'm a 20 something hippie chick...I was born in the wrong era man._______Earth, insane asylum for the universe.
It would be an honor to take a wild dump at Dave's house. Great poll!!
I went with the Cheif. Because he's the best storyteller around. He could entertain me with one of his stories by talking through the door while I did my business.
Come on over, Pance, and bring the Bostons! I'll go get the wine...
_______.....hugging bunnies since 1969 www.daphneszoo.com
Hard choice, but I finally picked Dave because he is the poop scholar and must have all kinds of interesting research materials on hand. (I have a Ph.D. and have done some research.) My other main choice was Daphne, for many of the reasons others have already stated.
It would have to be Chief`s bog that I dropped one in as I would be sure to get some fine, tasty food and a good book to read while I was visiting.
By the way, pance, your spelling is poor on this poll....I before E.
I voted Doniker, because the poll question was "Which PoopReporter's home would you most like to poop in..." It doesn't specify toilet.
I think it would be fun to leave little surprise packages all over the place for Doinker to find.
A bit like Easter eggs...
Doniker...
Just funnin' with ya, man.
I wouldn't do that to ya. _______The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.
I said Dave for one reason: Like every other StarTrek fan, I want to sit in the Captain's Chair. _______You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....
The voting is an indication of how badly we need healthcare reform, as of today there are eight very sick fuckers who want to share my bathroom. Well....what the hell....come on over, I have a big pot of mixed rodent stew bubbling away on the stove.
Prarie Doggin. I believe he's a clean fellow, despite his filthy mind, and I'll bet he is a gracious host. Plus he always makes me laugh, and I like a bit of humor after a good poop.
It was a tough choice. I also wouldn't mind using one of Daphne's 3 bathrooms. You know they're clean, and I'll bet she's good company too.
Then there's Chief. I'd like to use his bathroom, too. After a poo, he might offer me some roadkill stew and/or some odd foodstuff I've never heard of before. I'd do it just for the culinary adventures.
Thanks for the compliment Poopsie.
Damn, where's that toilet brush, and who drank the Mr. Clean?
I picked Daphne. Of all the people here, I feel that she's the one most likely to have a puffy toilet seat and soft colored toilet paper like at my Grandma's house.
However, if anybody on the list has a fully carpeted bathroom, I will change my vote.
Mine is carpeted, but you don't want to know with what.
Dave, you're tied for the lead. Might be a good time to go shopping for a new plunger.
What and where is the 15 corridor?_______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
I'd poop at Daphne's house. She's my mom after all....maybe she'd bake me some "brownies" while I was there._______Earth, insane asylum for the universe.
Dave, I put the plushest carpet in the bathroom just for you._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
My bathroom is carpeted, too. Little curly pubic hairs sticking to the aforementioned dribbles. Feto would be proud. _______ The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
i don't know what you're talking about, T-box._______i love poop.
I can only imagine having a nasty IBS crap at anyone else's home--only because those happen more often than nice BMs for me--therefore I had to pick Chief as he is the PoopReporter most likely to appreciate my fetid bouquet... it's like roadkill and burnt tires._______Help for IBS
Damn it, Wedgie! You`re as bad as that old reprobate, Bilge.
Not even...I have twenty years more experience. _______ The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
SP, I don't have any plans to publish a photo of my pilonidal scar, but if you must, then picture two large raw roast beefs side by side and one of them has a huge bite out of it.
Stop using food comparisons PD, you're making me hungry.
I chose dave 'cause he is the poopmaster and would be an honor.
Can someone give Logjam a mercy vote?
the poll has only been open one day! i'm sure he'll get some votes.
i would personally love to visit Logjam and poo in his toilet._______i love poop.
Yeah, I like him. Logjam and Bilge were among the first to recognize me for what I am here.
Batter up.
Wonderpance -- It's been more than 25 years since I fell for that over-used pick-up line. I've refused since then I don't know how many offers with no regrets. But for you ....
Careful with the info, prarie. Some people might start to think that you are a fiction that Bilge and I created to serve up softballs -- too good to be true.
Just a couple of observations: there are more comments than there are votes, and Dave has edged ahead of Chief.
Maybe what we need to do is talk up our bathrooms a bit to get more votes. I'll start.
I just swiffered my floors and fluffed up the shag toilet seat cover. I have lit a candle, my favorite scent "burning candle fragrance" and I hung a rare painting of a bunch of dogs playing pool on the wall. There is a whole supply of ointments, creams and astringents on the toilet tank and I folded the leading edge of the tp into a triangle. The window is naughtily ajar.
HA.....That will be no enticement. I have hung a portrait of Elvis painted on rare black velvet and have the entire set of Playboy magazines from 1991, slightly crusty, on a nearby table. That my friends was when the centerfolds still had muffs. A beer cooler and snacks are nearby and I plan on bolting the commode to the floor soon. So there PD!!!
Oh did I mention there's a pepperoni pizza in the vanity drawer?
IF you use mine, I'll give you a free autographed copy of my new book "Wiping Your Ass With Cats for Dummies" _______ The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
SP... The I5 corridor is for the Interstate 5. Runs from Canada to Mexico. It also goes from interesting to boring, from nowhere to Seattle gridlock. (NOT fun) And has inspired this song
For everyone need'n to go, and stuck on the freeway. The west coast's infamous Interstate 5.
Sang to the tune of "Rawhide"
Mov'n moan'n Groan'n Scan'n the horiz'n Soon you will be go'n I-5
No truck stops or restaurants Fuel-stations or rest stops I'm checking every bush and tree in sight
Com'n out (Keep it in!) Move about (suck it in) Hit the gas (Speed it up) I-5
Turtle head (Stick'n out) Face is red (Scream n Shout) This is it! Get me off I-5 (cue the whip crack!)
You can see some of these bathrooms here. Mine looks nearly the same as it did then, except I have added a poster-size photo of daphne to the wall.
LJ, I hope you've lost the scale as well...I've told you over and over that your love handles are wonderful.
And I wear them with pride, love. But the scales are still there to cover the guest hole in the floor for all my Turkish visitors.
I picked Daphne because as a lady, the seat would already be down. If the Atrocity of Diarrhea was about to strike, there would be less chance for a pants-crapping, underwear-shredding, leg-drizzling-down, shoe-filling, floor-staining event. Plus, gals tend to be neater and better-smelling. I'm referring to bathrooms, not necessarily the person themselves. No disrespect intended, I'll bet Daphne smells wonderful! Her poop probably has floral, rosy overtones; very nice! ----Captain Craptastic!!!
Bilgepump, I voted for you because I want to try the cat-wiping technique and I know your cats are used to it. I want my first time to go smoothly. Then I read about the book for dummies...I'm in like flint. _______To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.
Blind Mullet wrote: "Doniker... Just funnin' with ya, man. I wouldn't do that to ya."
Does this sound like BM is a little skeerd of ole Doniker???
_______To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.
If anyone's allergic to dogs or cats, they might not want to come over. While we keep the carpets steam cleaned and the house rather clean, you cannot take a dumper in this house without a dog or cat accompanying you.
I will, however, make brownies.
Guess what I'll put in them.
Well.....Daphne has pulled into the lead. I think this is due, in part, to the inscription engraved in the base of her commode.
"Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled asses yearning to shit free,
The wretched refuse of their teeming guts.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I provide paper beside the golden pot!
With apologies to Emma Lazarus.
Nice Chief. I just looked at the Statue of Liberty this morning as I went to work. I believe I saw a tear coming from her left eye.
Well then again it could be pigeon shit.
I had to choose other because I want to poop in CEP's house. I can't think of anybody more deserving of a good upper decker. I would, however, have to stoke up on some good carne asada and refried beans beforehand._______Yo quiero Taco Bell.
Deja Poo.....I once ate some spoiled limberger cheese (it's hard to identify) and can attest to the fact that I could have left an incomparable double decker a few hours later.
Still no votes for Logjam....don't take it personally, LJ. I guarantee nobody would want to shit in my bathroom either.
I know no one would want to shit at my house. Too much barging in instead of knocking. All the whining and moaning at the door. "What are you doing in there? Hey Hey Hey Hey...I love you. She called me a name! He pushed me. I'm bored."
And don't even get me started on what the kids do._______Earth, insane asylum for the universe.
Mrs. MC, sounds a lot like my house. Except for the "I love you" part.
Is it more, "Hey assface hurry the fuck up!" Cause I can yell that if it'll make people feel more at home._______Earth, insane asylum for the universe.
C. Everett Poop. I like deprecation with my defecation.
What's so funny 'bout poop, love, and understanding?
Although I would be extremely honored to drop one off at any of your homes, I had to choose other. I would love to crap at Blind Mullet's house simply because my wife and I have long wanted to visit Australia. If I was dropping a duece at BM's house that would mean I was there.
Daphne, I voted for you. I just like how close we have gotten as friends and it would be neat to meet you in person someday.
Ps Daphne, this is Kat from the forums
I voted for TBW. But, I may be mistaken. Several years a poop reporter posted pictures of his bathroom. It was huge! Well lit (there may have even been french doors leading to a private veranda). In addition to the toilet there was a urinal too. All blue tile, a seprate shower and jetted tub. I would gladly drop a duece in that bathroom any day
_______Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.
If you have read my story "Mom's bathroom," then you would understand why I would say this.
I would like to see you ALL at her house! Tag team the bathrooms! (and the kitchen) IF all of you are as nasty as you say, her head might explode, and the area 51 alien that runs her body would crawl out of the neck hole. (bring your camera)
Mother just turned 80, and wore out and buried yet another husband. The poor bastards, she works them to death. Realizing that she might not be able to find another one, she has re-programmed her computer to "human emotions towards son," and is being pleasant to me for the first time in my life.
Although I would like to think that if she was to break a hip, or get Alzheimer's, that I would deposit her on the nearest street corner, I know I would pull a Déjà Poo and give her all the care and comfort possible. I am such a sap.
I chose Chief Thunderbutt, because he seems like a nice guy.
Yeah, chief thunderbutt is a nice guy!
Sure you think he's nice now, but just try to stand between him and the buffet table._______ The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
hahaha you're funny
Bilge....I had to great your last comment, I would also advise Montreal Gal not to get between me and the BBQ grill.
For me it has to be um latrine tipi of Chief “Big Heap” Thunderbutt. I’d feel honoured and grateful to park my ample posterior on the throne that services his requirements, and to deposit some international goodwill into the Nashville sewage system from this legendary poo-platform, after a fine hillbilly dinner of grilled possum of course, would make me a happy fellow indeed.
One of these days, I hope that my travels will take me to America. However, I have little immediate interest in most of the tourist-trail US. It’s fine, sure, and yes, of course I’d like to do it at some point, but it’s extraordinary pretty much everywhere, so I’d prefer to experience a new country without the company of a load of fussing, camera-clanking, cap-wearing or antisocially intoxicated oiks, shrieking and pointing at each other with the accents of the underclass. I daresay I’m just a snob.
As I sit here listening to the Charlie Daniels Band, I am forced to conclude that instead of following a typical travellers itinerary, I’d invent my own American Odyssey. I’d like to shit my way around the US of A, travelling countless road miles visiting as many Poop Reporters as I can with the sole purpose of shitting in their toilets. I’d photograph the evidence of course, blogging updates as I go, obtaining opinions from my host on the quality of my poo, should he/she wish to proffer one. Hey, it’ll be like Twitter. We can call it ‘Shitter’.
Chief’s cludgie would be a fitting conclusion to the journey. All the best music tours climax in Nashville, so I don’t see why other pleasure-trips should be any different.
Start here, Scummy, you can shit right under the London Bridge....most of the Californians do.
I chose chief he seems pretty cool,but only if he stocks bourbon in his bathroom.
Just don't get between him and a fresh spot of roadkill. Or the last words you'll hear are, " I saw it first!!!!"_______Earth, insane asylum for the universe.
MMC I have heard that i just didn't know if it was true but you have confirmed it.
Thank you Scummy.....It would be an honor for me to have a master of the King's English such as yourself plump his Noel Cowardesque posterior down on my humble commode.
You are right about traveling alone vs. traveling with a group. The most satisfying vacation I ever had was a practically unplanned trip in Japan that consisted of driving about 1,400 miles (round trip) over a period of three weeks. We just stopped and looked at things that captured our interest as we drove along. Our only real objective was to visit my wife's relatives in Kyushu but we had many other adventures.
Nashville is indeed music city, but not just country music. We have some outstanding Blues Bars and a relatively new symphony hall which is world class and is home to a world class orchestra. Tonight's offering at the hall will be an all Beethoven program with the internationally acclaimed pianist Lang Lang performing the piano concerto no. 3 of this greatest of all composers.
I would enjoy the Beethoven program._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
Loaf pincher......I usually have bourbon, but no longer keep it in my bathroom because the glue that holds the labels on kept melting.
Chief, may I suggest a way to reglue those labels back on, **wank wank....er I mean wink wink**
To the 8 people that voted for me "thank you" (I guess) but why am I included in this poll?
I am the fucking nigger of poopreport who is banned regularly when some fly by night loser or Jehovah Witness comes along and makes a splash befriending people.
Always trying to endear yourself...thats what I love about you, ya big lug. _______ The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
Who let you back in the house boy!_______Earth, insane asylum for the universe.
You should be happy Doniker. You got more votes than me and it was my poll.
Well I've got a plane to catch.
Doniker's really off his game, usually he'd insult gays and middle easterners too....poor guy, must suck being a fat useless loser from Cleveland.
Bravo, Chief! Nashville does, indeed, have high-quality music. We lived in Murfreesboro years ago, where I taught at MTSU; I took students to events in Nashville all the time, including a great performance of Liszt's Totentanz by Andre Watts with the Nashville orchestra; my students were entranced. I have not seen the new hall, but it sounds great.
I'm sure I had some interesting pooping experiences on those trips as well, but it's been nearly 40 years, and I just can't remember . . .
pd, you must have a damn big mitt._______The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.
Be careful PD. Let the plane slow down a bit before you try to catch it._______To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.
I voted for Dave, just because he is famous.
doniker, i included you because, in order to not appear biased in some way, i just chose people who are on the top posters list who have been around a long time and still post regularly, or left enough of an impression on the site (besides just posting a lot of comments) so that our current constituency would know who everyone was. _______i love poop.
Senator Wonderpance everybody.
Wonderpance in 2012? Who would she choose for a running mate? Dave? I can see the banners now! "Shit happens! Deal with it!"
Wonderpants might pick Daphne, The Shit Volcano or Mrs. Mad Crapper as her running mate.br>_______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
On 9/16, wonderpans, were you talking about me. I feel as though you were. I'm used to being left out of things; but my feelings are not used to it yet._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
Well which ever houses toilet I plop my crusty ass down on I will surely have to bring my tree limb to break up the elephant turd I leave.Your just jealous and management is always wrong.
Hi feto D. I see that you are feeling well enough to visit us yourself. Bilgepump will be elated at your return._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
I am elated, indeed, Feto!! Hope you are doing well!!
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