If you were a supervisor and an employee pooped his/her pants, what would you do?

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50 Comments on "If you were a supervisor and an employee pooped his/her pants, what would you do?"

wonderpance's picture
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i voted for option number 2.

but i mainly posted this poll so i'd have a reason to tell you all a little story about mr. pance(some people may remember me mentioning this in the forums before).

he used to work with a few of his good friends at a mortgage company. one of his friends on more than on occasion pooped his pants on purpose so his supervisor (also his friend) would send him home.(this guy is probably a treasure trove of poop stories. i heard about him pooping from a balcony onto the alley below once. i'm sure he's done many things like this. he's a bit odd.)

one time, he talked mr. pance into pooping his pants too, so they could both leave and go play or whatever. so he did! and their friend, the supervisor, was so pissed that he made them show him the poop to make sure they weren't lying just to go home.

silly boys.

_______
i love poop.

i love poop.

MSG's picture
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I've been in the workforce for 50 years, and I have never known about an employee pooping his pants. I have been in supervisory positions for nearly 20 years. If someone pooped pants, and it came to my attention as supervisor, I would find out why this happened. Was it an accident? If so, is the employee sick and unable to control bowel function? In that case, I'd certainly send that person home--no point in stinking up the place or spreading bacteria. If it was something he ate that disagreed with him, I'd probably still send him home. Now, if the person deliberately pooped his pants, I would think disciplinary action would be appropriate, the specifics depending upon the circumstances.

All that being said, I came perilously close to pooping my pants in class last year (I am the teacher!), and the class-ending bell could not come soon enough for me. Nonetheless, by clenching and holding as tight as I could, I avoided catastrophe and made it to the restroom after class. I think in most cases most people could do likewise.

Bilgepump's picture
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I chose "other". I would just give them a cat, and tell them to get back to work. Oh, and "swirlie" the cat and bring it back to me. Any "unswirlied" cat returned will result in a dock in pay.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Crapper John McIntyre's picture
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I voted for #1. I would let them go home and change and come back. If a lot of people knew about it, I'd let them go home for the day to recover from the trauma. If they did it more than once, I'd make them bring spare pants to work. I have had the same pair of underwear folded into a tiny ball in my purse for years. I've never had to use them. I think having them there gives me superhuman protection against poop related mishaps.

prarie doggin's picture
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I voted other. Most of my employees are drivers, and if they want to shit themselves at work it won't bother me in the least.

Postman's picture
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I chose other. I'd just stay the hell away from them.

Vanilla Dolphin's picture
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Send them home? Hell no! I would make the nasty fucker sit in it for the rest of the day, marinating in their own funk. Not only that, I would also make them wear a sign that read 'SeƱor Poopypants.'

I'm sadistic.

_______
"...I once ate a roadkill possum that had been raised on a diet of carp. I cooked it over a fire fueled with old tires and dog shit. [My fart] put to shame the sewers of Calcutta."
- ChiefThunderbutt

"...I once ate a roadkill possum that had been raised on a diet of carp. I cooked it over a fire fueled with old tires and dog shit. [My fart] put to shame the sewers of Calcutta."
- ChiefThunderbutt

daphne's picture
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If I was the manager at a department store and it was busy, I might make the employee pay for another pair of pants or underwear as needed from the floor so he or she could return to work. If it wasn't busy, I'd make the employee go home, change, and get back.

Of course, if the employee dropped a load because of the flu or something like that, I'd send him/her home for the day.

If it happened more than once, the employee would have to have extra clothes, baby wipes, and a laundry bag at work.

Now, here's a question - is chronic pants-pooping something that you can be fired for, or is that discrimination?


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Thunderbox's picture
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I`d let them wallow in the mire.

The voice of sanity

MSG's picture
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To Daphne: How can "chronic pants-pooping" be or betoken a protected class? I can't think of a job where completed potty training isn't a required qualification (albeit an unspoken one--I've never yet asked an applicant, "When and where did you complete your potty training, and do you have credible written evidence of such completion?").

daphne's picture
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Colitis, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Crohn's Disease, or Celiac Disease might affect your bowels from a day-to-day basis. If they are documented and you are following treatment, you still might have an accident. If someone is diagnosed with one of these conditions and has accidents from time to time, I am wondering if firing the person for having accidents would be considered discrimination or just part of the game.


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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

prarie doggin's picture
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I think it depends on the job. The person could be required to wear a diaper if it was chronic and the public wasn't affected. In the food business it should be a no no. I would be a bit turned off if a waiter/waitress dropped a load while taking my order.

Vanilla Dolphin's picture
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In Virginia, the law states explicitly that an employee can be terminated for any reason, or no reason at all.

So if you're a habitual pants-crapper, don't work here.

_______
"...I once ate a roadkill possum that had been raised on a diet of carp. I cooked it over a fire fueled with old tires and dog shit. [My fart] put to shame the sewers of Calcutta."
- ChiefThunderbutt

"...I once ate a roadkill possum that had been raised on a diet of carp. I cooked it over a fire fueled with old tires and dog shit. [My fart] put to shame the sewers of Calcutta."
- ChiefThunderbutt

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
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The voices in my head say "Kill your boss!" I admit, my boss is an asshole. I'm self employed.

MSG's picture
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Hello again, Daphne! For maybe 6 years I had IBS and took medicine for it, tried diets, etc. At that time I taught real estate classes, morning and night, and tried to sell during the day. Long hours. The IBS diarrhea could hit with little warning. At least twice that I remember, I had to give my real estate class an impromptu break while I went and had a blowout in the restroom. Not fun. Fortunately, I never had an accident, though I could certainly see how it could happen. As I think I said above, as a supervisor I would certainly talk to whoever had the accident, find out the circs, work with the person to the extent possible. If a disease or condition was involved, I would appreciate being informed. Health and morale of other workers--to say nothing of the public--would have to be thought about, too.

DJ's picture
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#2 That way you can spread the word about them so they are totally embarrassed when they come back the following day!

Inspector Pu P. Stayne's picture
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I would evaluate the situation. If it happened because they were sick, I'd send them home for the day. If they were not really sick, I'd let them go home and change and request they return. If they were a habitual offender such as Mr. Pance's buddy, I'd let them go home and change, and be sure to dock them for the lost time. An accident is one thing, but someone doing it on purpose I would have little tolerance for.

pnuttycorn's picture
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Get your ass home. If you're shitting yourself, there's something wrong with you, and you will probably be in the bathroom all day.
I'm just sayin....
Not to mention embarassment.

shitake boy's picture
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I suffer from IBS. Sometimes it is a good day, others I will have either a "C" or "D" day. On a "C" day I will try to get some relief on my breaks at work. On my "D" days, it is much more difficult. especially if I am stressed, the condition gets worse. I have been at jobs where the boss asked me to gauge my stomach, and in this case she suffered from IBS as well. Other times, I have been made to hold it until the office got less busy, because there was no one to cover for me. This time I was on the brink of an accident. Fortunately in that case a co-worker told my boss that if I didn't get to a bathroom, it might not be pretty. Needless to say, I was permitted to go, thus avoiding an accident. I would allow anyone with that situation to go home for the day.

_______
In search of the ever evasive BM

In search of the ever evasive BM

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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I voted "other" because there are many things to consider. First I would talk to the person. If they were sick I would certainly send them home for the day. If it was an accidental shart, I would expect them to come back. If I could determine that it was on purpose I would fire them.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

spotted_pooper's picture
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I voted to send them home. I don't want to deal with that shit (no pun intended.) On the other hand, if they did that on purpose I'd call the psych ward. HAHA.

I never thought I would say this, but THANK the God of Poop that I have IBS-chronic-C. I almost NEVER have diharrea unless I'm on an antibiotic or something is EXTREMELY wrong with me- as in so sick I wouldn't even dream of leaving the house anyway. What happens to me most often is that I sit in the bathroom with stomach cramps, THINKING I can go to the bathroom and turning out to be wrong.

Vanilla Dolphin's picture
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I went to middle school with a girl who would, on occasion, shit herself to get out of gym class. Being that she was 6'4" and about 350 poinds, whenever the sight of a huge turd mashed up against (and bleeding through) the backside of her overstretched sweatpants manifested itself, hilarity generally ensued.
And she always got her way.

_______
"...I once ate a roadkill possum that had been raised on a diet of carp. I cooked it over a fire fueled with old tires and dog shit. [My fart] put to shame the sewers of Calcutta."
- ChiefThunderbutt

"...I once ate a roadkill possum that had been raised on a diet of carp. I cooked it over a fire fueled with old tires and dog shit. [My fart] put to shame the sewers of Calcutta."
- ChiefThunderbutt

prarie doggin's picture
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The coach should have made her do 100 situps before excusing her.

Postman's picture
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I would have made her do squat thrusts.

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
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Maybe would be more like squat thrusters!

prarie doggin's picture
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I'd throw in a few crunches, and maybe a lap or two around the track if it was hot out.

Vanilla Dolphin's picture
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That would be something to see - six feet and 350 pounds of undulating flesh, gasping and wheezing her way around the track while a football-sized turd worked its way down her pantleg. I would normally say that'd teach her a lesson, but anyone willing to intentionally shit themselves to get out of something they didn't want to do probably wouldn't be as bothered by their shit-filled drawers on display as they would by not succeeding in getting their way!

_______
"...I once ate a roadkill possum that had been raised on a diet of carp. I cooked it over a fire fueled with old tires and dog shit. [My fart] put to shame the sewers of Calcutta."
- ChiefThunderbutt

"...I once ate a roadkill possum that had been raised on a diet of carp. I cooked it over a fire fueled with old tires and dog shit. [My fart] put to shame the sewers of Calcutta."
- ChiefThunderbutt

Postman's picture
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How about if you have her do some handstands?

The Shit Volcano's picture
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I think I would send them home for the day. As someone stated above, usually a pants-shitting episode means there is something wrong with the person and they will be shitting all day. Plus, I don't need to catch their nasty stomach flu or e.coli or whatever the hell it is!

_______
I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Craptin' Lunch's picture
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I actually had an employee give as an excuse for being late that she had strained too hard pushing out what she thought was a gigantic fart and instead sharted. She told me that she had cleaned herself up with newspaper and thrown her panties into the woods where they hung on a tree like a rotten brown flag. Nobody would make this up would they......?

prarie doggin's picture
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I would require her to go back with a camera and take a picture of the flag as proof.

BTW, if you do get that photo, you might want to enter it in the shitstain avatar contest.

shitwit's picture
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When I was 19 I was a McDonald's manager and some poor old guy we had working for us really did shit himself one day. I sent him home and gave him the option of coming back if he felt up to it. He walked home (he lived 3 blocks away), changed, started back to work, then shit himself again. He called me up about 2 hours later to say he had one roll down his pant leg and onto the sidewalk. I thanked him for his honesty and told him to just get some rest and come back the next day.
Sadly enough, I moved away for a few years and when I moved back someone told me he had died of colon cancer.

_______
Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Captain Craptastic's picture
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This actually happened at a place where I worked a long time ago, according to the owner who told me about it. I will regale you with a tale of the unfortunate pooping accident:

There was a neighborhood hardware store, a little place with three aisles and a collection of dusty parts from over the last century. Many older customers liked to come here because if they searched long enough through the bins under the displays where new merchandise was kept, they might happen upon a part or piece of equipment not seen elsewhere in fifty years.

There was a slovenly fat guy who worked there a few days a week. His belly was the first thing to enter a room by a good bit. He had this annoyingly adenoidal, nasal voice tone and didn't like customers very much. He also had numerous medical problems that made his work attendance sporadic at times. One morning, another employee went into the back of the store where the fat guy was stocking shelves. He turned around quickly and went to the owner declaring "I smell shit" and was visibly perturbed. A few minutes later, the fat guy came up to the owner with a sheepish expression and said real quiet "I think I poohed my pants". The owner had a hearty chuckle and inquired about the health problem, to which he received vague and evasive responses. All the while, the stench was curling his nose hairs and action needed to be taken swiftly and without delay, After all, customers won't browse and buy merchandise if the store reeks of diarrhea! He was sent home for the day with a roll of paper towels so he would not contaminate his car seat on the way. The next day, the owner told me that the fat guy was visibly ashamed of his accident and was oddly quiet for several days afterward. So concludes the tale of the erroneous dump in the workplace.
----Captain Craptastic!!!

----Captain Craptastic!!!

Postman's picture
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Not too long ago, one of our newer female employees went out on her route, and thinking she had to fart, shit herself.

The supervisor had to go out and pick up her truck, and there was shit all over the seat.

The worst part was, the truck she was using that day just happened to be mine.

Luckily, she wasn't wearing my raincoat that day, as it happened to be raining that day.

I'm really glad I'm not in management, if part of their duties include cleaning up after people who shit themselves.

prarie doggin's picture
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I'm glad she upheld the Postal Code and was working in the rain. Had she finished her rounds after shitting, possibly a new line could have been added to the code.

I hope she wasn't mistaken for a UPS driver after the incident.

Nappyboy74's picture
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If I was the supervisor find out why if it was a accident or on purpose if it was a accident send them home but if it was on purpose move them to a area where they are not really around the pubic and suggest to them diapers and give them a pay rise as they won't be taken toilet breaks being more productive then I'd drop a load in my pants just so the other person didn't feel left out

OfficePoopGirl's picture
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I choose other because I would probably start cracking up before I could tell them to just go home for the rest of the day.


_______
Happy Pooping!

Happy Pooping!

thenewcoven08's picture
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Laugh my ass off, and make sure that everybody knows.

JP's picture
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I consider myself to be a very kind/compassionate person and I understand how embarassing and upsetting something like that could be. I'd send them home and I'd do it as discreetly as possible. Of course, I'd tell everyone else that they felt ill and I thought it best to send them home for the day.

thenewcoven08's picture
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Where's the fun in that JP?

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I would make him go poop the next day, exept give him lax so he has diarrhea. Then make him poop in a bathroom stall in front of every body that wants to watch!

Bilgepump's picture
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Yeah, because thats what you would want to happen to you, should the situation be reversed, right? Moron.


_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Postman's picture
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Well, PD and Chief? What would you do?

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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Here at Doggin/Thunderbutt Institute we have a very lenient policy on pants pooping. We do, after all, study the effects of skidology. No greater skid-mark can be left than the "pooped my pants" skid-mark. The obligatory sniffing must me done by the pooper then, after the appropriate entry in the "skid log" the pooper is given the rest of the day off (without pay.)


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

prarie doggin's picture
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Generally if Buttstein or I am the guilty one, no mention is ever made by our employees. We are free to go about our business, leaking, stinking and squishing. Executive status has its privileges.

Postman's picture
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And here all this time I thought it was that new sewer project that was going on near our building.

chocolate starfish's picture
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This has happened at my work and also my husband's work. At my work one of the guys came up to me and told me they "had an accident and had to go home and change" and I couldn't help it...I started laughing! My husband had hired a temp at his work and the temp couldn't find the bathroom in time and shat his drawers!! He was sent home for the rest of the day.

Anonymous's picture
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Fat people shit themselve more than skinny people.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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Do you have scientifically acquired evidence to backup this rather stupid claim?

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Logman's picture
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I've dealt with this several times in the last year, from the same employee, no less. The guy just shits his pants on the floor and then comes up to me every time saying "I had an accident, I'm gonna go clean up, give me 5 minutes." I just send him home for the day. You'd think the guy would just start wearing some damn Depends, but I guess that's more embarrassing than shitting his pants somehow.